Entertainment & Music - 11 December 2007

I'm not offering i'm just wondering.....

2007-12-11 01:32:29 · 45 answers · asked by **Missy** 3 in Polls & Surveys

this question?

2007-12-11 01:31:19 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Nurse or Female police officer?

2007-12-11 01:30:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

WHY?

2007-12-11 01:30:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

How many of you like to see James Bond movies?Which James bond is best?I like Roger Moore as a bond.What do you think of new James Bond?

2007-12-11 01:30:08 · 11 answers · asked by A Yahoo User 4 in Movies

This Paul Young song is from the 80's and stirred up some good memories for me. Listen and in 5 words or less say how it makes u feel...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUKBuAkr4Lg

2007-12-11 01:30:00 · 3 answers · asked by yoyo 4 in Polls & Surveys

Your doctor has scheduled you for an autopsy on ___________ at _______ AM/PM. St. Amgems Hospital wants you to be prepared for what should be an eventful time. This guide should answer the most common questions in regard to your procedure. Please call your doctor's office if you have any further questions. Please remember, autopsies are performed on an "as needed" procedure. If you, or a qualified Medical Examiner chooses to cancel your autopsy, the Pathology department requires 24 hours notice.


WHAT IS AN AUTOPSY?
As advanced as medical science is, sometimes we need more thorough procedures to find out why your living status has been impaired. An autopsy can include CAT scans, X-rays, and surgical evaluation.

WILL IT INVOLVE SURGERY?
Yes. At times when there is a lack of obvious traumatic impact, surgery is needed. Your doctor may wish to examine your vital organs. This involves removal of the organs for the purpose of study. The contents of your stomach will also be examined, so we urge you not to take anything by mouth for 12 (twelve) hours before cessation of your existence or the procedure.

WILL IT HURT?
We certainly hope not. If at any time you're feeling uncomfortable, please feel free to alert the pathologist.

WHAT SHOULD I BRING?
We recommend a very large, empty suitcase. Ideally, your family should sign a "permission for disposal" form. If this has been done, you'll be provided with an effects bag and all unwanted matter will be disposed of in a device affectionately known as "Chuckie". It can also be helpful for you to bring anything that might have contributed to your current condition. This can include any drugs containers from medications you might have ingested.

WHEN CAN I RETURN TO WORK?
Not for a while. We suggest you worry about this after your autopsy.

WILL I HAVE A SCAR?
We take vanity in consideration. You may have a large "Y" shaped incision on your torso. There may also be some scalp incisions that can be covered by a competent professional.

WILL YOU LAUGH AT MY WEENIE?
Yes. Pathology is a profession fraught with stress and alcoholism. Your doctor may already have placed you in the Weenie Relocation Program (WRP) which means your weenie might end up in any number of body cavities, at the whim of your doctor. Should you not want us to laugh at your weenie, we suggest you dispose of it beforehand.

We at St. Amgems want your autopsy to be a positive experience and promise to treat your earthly remains with dignity and respect (aside from the weenie dealie). Please refer to our brochures "Cadaver's Bill of rights" and "So You're Dead. What Next?" for more information.

Remember, here at St. Amgems, our day starts when yours ends!

2007-12-11 01:29:50 · 17 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Jokes & Riddles

This comes as a shock to me.

And to you as well, I trust?

2007-12-11 01:29:27 · 6 answers · asked by rockman 7 in Polls & Surveys

or "chunky dunk"?

2007-12-11 01:29:17 · 34 answers · asked by MamiZ-Notorious Faithful Freak 5 in Polls & Surveys

LIE

2007-12-11 01:28:59 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

That I really have been a good girl?

2007-12-11 01:28:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

the Tin Man miniseries on dvd. From what I hear, SciFi isn't putting it on dvd themselves.
Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get this on a dvd for myself?

2007-12-11 01:28:38 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Television

Ok, I just finished watching Tila Tequila a shot at love. At first I thought it was horrible and stupid, now I wanna know who wins, and I know it's down to Dani and Bobby! Witch one do you think will win, and if you know please tell lol??

2007-12-11 01:28:15 · 17 answers · asked by SiKk15 2 in Celebrities

2007-12-11 01:28:08 · 42 answers · asked by Smoochy Poochy 6 in Polls & Surveys

I was trying to watch it last night but I fell asleep. Who are the last two, or who did she send home and why?

2007-12-11 01:27:49 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Reality Television

I was leaning over to reach the cappichino mix and burned my boob in my hubbys scalding cup of coffee. It is all red and very painful. Has anyone else done something stupid like this or am I the only one? Hubby did get a good laugh and said the coffee was extra tasty this morning.

2007-12-11 01:27:07 · 25 answers · asked by dinkylynn 4 in Polls & Surveys

Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.

Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.

Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.

Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.

Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.

Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

Pay your electric bill in pennies.

Drive to work in reverse.

Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.

Tell you boss to "blow it out your mule" and let him figure it out.

Polish your car with earwax.

Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

Braid the hairs in each nostril.

Write a short story using alphabet soup.

Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.

2007-12-11 01:26:56 · 24 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Jokes & Riddles

mine ......thou shall not mind thy neighbors kind of music

2007-12-11 01:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by yatzky 2 in Polls & Surveys

I am doing a video for a 40th birthday and a 60th birthday. I need a song that talks about growing old, over the hill, how the time has gone by... happy birthday..

any ideas? happy, funny songs are best...

so far i have "in my next thirty years" but i need another one..

PLEASE HELP!! i'm stuck and i need this song!!

2007-12-11 01:24:51 · 6 answers · asked by Ale 2 in Other - Music

To read while your taking a dump?

2007-12-11 01:24:19 · 25 answers · asked by infobod2nd 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-11 01:23:41 · 36 answers · asked by Annie 1 in Polls & Surveys

I got a violation this morning for a question I asked yesterday about needing help hanging Christmas lights on my house. The violation notice was for solicitation...whatever, solicitation for help maybe. What's wrong with that?

2007-12-11 01:22:40 · 30 answers · asked by ♥chicks♥ 5 in Polls & Surveys

The top 40 ways men fail in bed... take notes, all you Casanovas!

1. NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3. NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5. BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18. GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19. GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20. COMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23. PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26. MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30. TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35. GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37. TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39. SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40. THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

HEY GUYS! NEXT TIME REMEMBER THESE RULES AND THE LADY MAY INVITE YOU BACK.

2007-12-11 01:22:24 · 34 answers · asked by tastybits 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Whoa I just got it. Said nothing was posted in P&S. What up with that?

2007-12-11 01:21:28 · 7 answers · asked by Emmy F 3 in Polls & Surveys

by accident, BUT nothing happened! What gives? shouldnt there be sparks and stuff?

2007-12-11 01:21:15 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

She's fallen asleep.

2007-12-11 01:21:08 · 18 answers · asked by Pompal 7 in Polls & Surveys

Isn't that why you're so chunky.

2007-12-11 01:18:57 · 38 answers · asked by elizadushku 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-11 01:18:54 · 26 answers · asked by MamiZ-Notorious Faithful Freak 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-11 01:18:40 · 8 answers · asked by AKA FrogButt 7 in Polls & Surveys

donate money to the Salvation Army when you go into stores and things? I do sometimes, and I always feel bad when I don't lol

Jw how many of you do.

2007-12-11 01:18:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys