Entertainment & Music - 19 March 2007

What does this say about her?

2007-03-19 20:25:27 · 21 answers · asked by LostMyMind 3 in Polls & Surveys

A fisherman is sorting through his catch on the edge of a lake when a man sprints up to him, obviously in some distress. "Help me please," he gasps. "My wife is drowning and I can't swim." He points out to a distant figure, splashing around pathetically, 100mts from the shore. "Please save her, I'll give you a hundred quid if you do."
Nodding, the fisherman dives into the water. In a few powerful strokes, he reached the woman, puts his arm around her and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man he looks up at him.
"Okay," he says, regaining his breath, "where's my hundred quid?"
The man frowns back at him. "Look", he says. "When I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket. "Just my luck," he says, "How much do I owe you?"

2007-03-19 20:24:35 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

Do you Believe we have Soulmates? Do you believe we are conected by an attraction of some inner force drawing us together?
What is your opinion... I have an opinion, but it too is locked inside my Soul♥

2007-03-19 20:24:29 · 11 answers · asked by -------- 7 in Polls & Surveys

What is the best/worst/funniest or most embarrasing thing that has happened in last couple of days to you?????

2007-03-19 20:24:08 · 4 answers · asked by Roxxy 2 in Polls & Surveys

HORSE the band
Converge
Coalesce
Rage Against the Machine
Refused
Boy Sets Fire
Daughters
Chiodos
Shotmaker
Shadows Fall
Killswitch Engage
Mineral
Casket Lottery
Snapcase

It doesn't have to fit ALL genres. Even bands that are similar to just one band on that list would be great.

2007-03-19 20:23:51 · 3 answers · asked by JudasHero 5 in Music

2007-03-19 20:22:48 · 7 answers · asked by http://hogshead.pokerknave.com/ 6 in Television

this is to only those who smoke? please quit smoking?

http://www.dctorrent.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=36205&d=1173949233

2007-03-19 20:22:26 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

reading my bible tonight, i was pulled to psalms 46. I read somewhere that Shakespear died at the age of 46. In the King James Version the 46th word of this psalm is "shake" and the 46th from the bottom is "Spear" Just thought I would share

2007-03-19 20:22:05 · 15 answers · asked by -------- 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-19 20:21:51 · 8 answers · asked by LuckyJack 4 in Celebrities

2007-03-19 20:21:42 · 16 answers · asked by Gargirl™® 6 in Polls & Surveys

Hold her up tight,make a little lovin,A little tender lovin' oughta make some big sunlight,fits my life,ohhh so right..My Dixie Land Delight!!

2007-03-19 20:20:34 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A innocent girl dressed like a slu*t or an slutty girl dressed innocently?

2007-03-19 20:20:33 · 31 answers · asked by LostMyMind 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-19 20:20:23 · 8 answers · asked by U GOT IT DUDE 1 in Celebrities

2007-03-19 20:20:21 · 8 answers · asked by deemi912000 1 in Horoscopes

2007-03-19 20:19:38 · 6 answers · asked by LuckyJack 4 in Polls & Surveys

A concerned husband went to the doctor to talk about his wife.

He said to the doctor, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."

"Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight, stand about 15 feet from her, and say something. If she doesn't reply, move 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this until we get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

The husband went home and did exactly as the doctor had instructed. He started off 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she was chopping some vegetables.

He said, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He heard no response. He moved 5 feet closer and asked again. No reply. He moved 5 feet closer. Still no reply.

He finally got fed up and moved right behind her, about an inch away, and asked again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replied, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

2007-03-19 20:19:30 · 11 answers · asked by Dr. Angel Priya 1 in Jokes & Riddles

Yes or No will suffice, thank you.

2007-03-19 20:18:59 · 16 answers · asked by What gives? 5 in Movies

what "school" subjects do u like the most or which interests u the most??

2007-03-19 20:18:34 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Guess it right and get BA.

2007-03-19 20:18:26 · 25 answers · asked by nmd061105 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-19 20:18:13 · 27 answers · asked by Bender 2 in Polls & Surveys

what if Mandy Moore was not a famous singer or an actress... and what if she joined America's Next Top Model.. do you think she has a shot at winning???

2007-03-19 20:17:26 · 11 answers · asked by eeeyohn 1 in Celebrities

2007-03-19 20:16:05 · 10 answers · asked by nmd061105 3 in Polls & Surveys

Take it all away................

2007-03-19 20:14:42 · 22 answers · asked by The Druidess 3 in Polls & Surveys

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half wide."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?"

Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!"

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8."

Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!"

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"

2007-03-19 20:14:35 · 8 answers · asked by Dr. Angel Priya 1 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-19 20:12:28 · 10 answers · asked by davewd2001 1 in Music

what is your favorite disney character from the movies?

2007-03-19 20:12:08 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Timber!

2007-03-19 20:12:03 · 16 answers · asked by Dave 6 in Polls & Surveys

"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."

The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.

"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"

"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.

Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."

Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.

"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue."

After briefly examining the patient, the doctor gives him the bad news: If he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, the patient does not want to hear about it.

"You want to die?" asks the doctor.

"But...how do I pee?"

"We'll install a plastic pipe, and there will be no problem." So the patient has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters the doctor's office again. He is very angry.

"Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!"

"What?"

"Can you tell me what the hell is happening??"

The doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know. Could it be the jeans?"

2007-03-19 20:12:02 · 8 answers · asked by Dr. Angel Priya 1 in Jokes & Riddles

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

2007-03-19 20:10:35 · 5 answers · asked by Dr. Angel Priya 1 in Jokes & Riddles

It seemed every week, Kenny would die some horrible death, only to spring back up the next week.

What I would like to know is, why did the "South Park" brain trust keep knocking off Kenny every week?

2007-03-19 20:09:51 · 14 answers · asked by georgecatzi 2 in Television