You're stalked by alcoholic vampires.
You have never screwed a cap back onto a liquor bottle.
Your friends pretend to be bartenders, just so you'll pay attention to them.
Your personal mantra is, "Where there's a swill, there's a sway."
You suffer from barthritis- every night you get stiff in another joint.
You don't recognize the difference between "waking up" and "coming to."
You donate a pint of blood and the hospital has to card the patient they give it to.
Your liver enters itself in a Tough Man competition.
You wear Hawaiian shirts because it's tougher to see vomit stains on them.
Going out drinking with you is covered by your friends' insurance.
As a child your dad helped you learn math by first explaining a four-count.
Your personal math system is based on the number six, i.e.: "I'll take a twelver of Big Macs, with a sixer of those without cheese."
You use visualization techniques to master beer bongs.
In high school, you were voted most likely to drink in grade school.
2 for 1 is your lucky number.
A perfect date is a few bottles of wine and why ya need anything else?
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-12
10:24:51
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5 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles