Entertainment & Music - 6 November 2007

Still ask me, "Does this dress make my butt look big?

2007-11-06 03:24:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:23:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Does Tobias Maguire think that he really
is a spiderman ?

2007-11-06 03:23:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Movies

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the
streets and bars of Dublin one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dawson
Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for
evening performances'.

'Fu**ing get in there you c*nt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar.
'Get the fu**ing manager of this pigs s*it middle class w*nk hole please
you c*nt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however
obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says

'Yes you can you fat piece of s*it, I saw your poxy advert in the c*nting
window and I'm here to audition.....w*nker.'

The manager is naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire
need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The
first tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too
involving, yet utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries,
'Wonderful, wonderful. What was that called?'

'That song, you big nosed tw*t, was called "Excuse me prime minister but I
just j*zzed in your daughter's eye, and now the c*nts blind...'

'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little
less "lively".'

'W*nker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad
which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty teardrops
asks him the title.

'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the sh*t
box you get cr*p on your bell end.'

'I see' says the manager, 'Have you got any songs with less offensive
titles?'

'Well there's my jazz number "Do you want me to split your r*ngpiece", or
there's the epic "I don't care if you're older my dear, you've still got
nice jugs".

'Look' says the manager interrupting, 'I think you're a superb pianist but
the title of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the
condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.'

'**** it' says the pianist 'Why not'.

On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up
his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty. The only
thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous
blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the
tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and
inviting cleavage. During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking
hard on that he decides to go to the bog and knock one out.

Just as he has shot his muck he hears himself being re-introduced over the
tannoy, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act. After the
show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him.'Hi' she
says. 'Hello' he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives.

She leans over and whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your c*ck is hanging
out of your trousers, and sp*nk is dribbling onto your shoes?'

'Know it?'

says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently,

'I f*cking wrote it !!!'

2007-11-06 03:23:23 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

2007-11-06 03:22:40 · 13 answers · asked by frenchy 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:22:17 · 29 answers · asked by Miss New Jersey =] 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:21:53 · 17 answers · asked by Y!A addict NURSE SWEETIEGOAT 4 in Polls & Surveys

you people like Primal Fear?
ima gonna see this friday live ^^
cant wait!!!!!!
*jumps round all happy*
waaah
moshing, beer, hot metalheads and good music!
what more could one want?!

2007-11-06 03:21:18 · 17 answers · asked by Zivtele_me 3 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:20:46 · 8 answers · asked by angelaw86 1 in Country

No, you can't say yourself.

2007-11-06 03:19:38 · 18 answers · asked by Special nobody 5 in Polls & Surveys

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.

The Teacher asked, “Johnny, what are you doing?”

Then, Johnny said, “It hurts down there.”

“Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home”, said the teacher.

A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.

Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his d*ck haging out of his pants.

The teacher said, “Johnny, what’s that doing hanging out of your pants?!”

Then Johnny said, “My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she’ll come and pick me up.”

2007-11-06 03:19:24 · 11 answers · asked by Jessie 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Say hypothetically we didn't have Michael Jackson as our avatars, we didn't say "We Love You MJ" at the end of our question and although we talked about Michael for our questions, we never mentioned his name. With all of the things that we personally look up to him with, do you think that anyone on here would have ANY CLUE who we were talking about? For example if I would answer a question with this:

"this man is a great man, he is extremely talented and a musical genius and he has done so much for charity, he has donated over 300 Million dollars within his life time and doesn't ask for any of it back."

I guess I'm asking this question because I feel that the majority of people out there don't know what a great man he actually is. They have never hear about the good things he's done for society.

2007-11-06 03:18:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-11-06 03:16:17 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

wondering..

2007-11-06 03:15:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

=)

2007-11-06 03:15:48 · 40 answers · asked by ♣Jay$in™² 4 in Polls & Surveys

how do u get many points and how many
points have u earned by doing that ?

I earned more than 100 points by
answering only survey questions :)

2007-11-06 03:15:41 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Just curious.

TV - your television set(s), DVD, and VCRs would be removed, and cable disconnected.

Books - all printed material (except bills, taxes, and school books) would be removed. Newspapers, magazines, and books.

Music - all speakers and headphones (including computer speakers) would be removed. So you couldn't cop out and use your computer to listen to music.

Computer - computer and internet would be removed.

Which would be the toughest for you?

2007-11-06 03:14:35 · 30 answers · asked by Tom S 7 in Polls & Surveys

use your phone?

2007-11-06 03:13:47 · 25 answers · asked by Saz 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:13:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

and crushed some presents!

2007-11-06 03:11:58 · 13 answers · asked by ♣Jay$in™² 4 in Polls & Surveys

This is not meant to be a dirty question.

2007-11-06 03:11:35 · 34 answers · asked by Mike 1 in Polls & Surveys

I could be wrong but I saw I guy that looked like Dick Chenney poke his head over my fence and shoot my dog. My dog is now walking with a limp. What can I do? (hypothetical question) =)

2007-11-06 03:11:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I've just looked out the window and I can see the Isle of Wight & The Spinnaker Tower among other things.

2007-11-06 03:10:49 · 49 answers · asked by Pompal 7 in Polls & Surveys

A guy askes his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamboghini Countach - she loves this car she goes every where in it.

One day she picks up her kids from school, she's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor " Where is my son he was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham?"

The doctor replies "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he wont be able to kick a football any more."

The woman asks about her daughter "Doctor where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at wimbeldon"

The doctor says "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she
wont be able to pick up a racket any more" She begins to cry.

2007-11-06 03:10:13 · 9 answers · asked by Simon 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Chocolate covered ants yall for desert! yummy!

2007-11-06 03:09:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels - That whole leg-whipping scene when Michael Caine is "testing" Steve Martin's legs to see if he has any feeling in them, knowing good and well Steve was pretending for his scam has me crying and holding my sides. It's Caine's running start from the other room that gets me. Then I slow-mo Steve's reaction and my sides, stomach and throat ache for hours afterwards.

2007-11-06 03:08:24 · 8 answers · asked by ? 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:07:31 · 3 answers · asked by Dovey 7 in Polls & Surveys

Hollywood?

2007-11-06 03:07:10 · 31 answers · asked by Buddy Hodor 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-11-06 03:06:58 · 23 answers · asked by karens lovinlife 6 in Polls & Surveys

869 for me.

2007-11-06 03:06:13 · 12 answers · asked by tictak kat 7 in Polls & Surveys