1 . The nicest thing about the future is that it always
starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will
make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're
in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is
afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all
night?
7. Business conventions are important because they
demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger
than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who
wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more
publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a
wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a
game." when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way
you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not
everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have
thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And RAP music
will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more
comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching
in every joint, you are probably dead.
2006-10-20
04:53:52
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19 answers
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asked by
Mrs. Butler ♥2 B♥
5
in
Jokes & Riddles