Warning: this product warps space and time in its vicinity
Warning: this product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the products of other manufactures, with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them
Caution: the mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tonnes of TNT per set ounce of weight
Handle with extreme care: this product contains minute electrically charged particles moving at velocities in excess of five hundred million miles per hour
Consumer notice: because of the 'uncertainty principle', it is impossible for the consumer to find out at the same time both precisely where this product is and how fast it is moving
Advisory: there is an extremely small but non zero chance that, through a process known as 'tunneling', this product may spontaneously disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in the universe, including your neighbor’s domicile. The manufacturer will not be responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result
Read this before opening package: according to certain suggested versions of the grand unified theory, the primary particles constituting this product may decay to nothingness within the next four hundred million years
This is a 100% matter product: in the unlikely event that this merchandise should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result
Public notice as required by law: any use of this product, in any manner whatsoever, will increase the amount of disorder in the universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process will ultimately lead to the heat death of the universe
Note: the most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a ‘gluing’ force about which little is currently known, and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed
2006-08-23
10:05:25
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3 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles