telling your partner you have hpv?

Question

I'm 20 years old. When I was 16 I lost my virginity and got HPV. I havn't had a breakout for 2 years now, and now i think I have one. I just started talking to this new guy who I like alot. I just assumed that my hpv was gone (your immune system can sometimes fight it off)...but now its back. He told me this one girl had herpes and she told him before they were going to do anything, and he bascially cut her off. The way he is, I know he would treat HPV like I have AIDS. I had this one guy in the past who I told and he treated me like I had AIDS. I tried to tell him that 80% of young people have it, they just don't all break out, and its like he didn't understand. All he could think of was : she has a disease. I really like this guy, so I would feel bad not telling him. But more than likely he has it to. My dr. told me its so common that i dont need to tell anyone because they wont understand, and will treat me like i have AIDS..any advice? thanks

Answer 1

I would be honest about things. If you aren't honest, and he gets it, he will not ever trust you again.

Good luck,
Dana

Answer 2

I know the feelings of helplessness, isolation and real longing to be rid of herpes. I really didn’t think I would ever be rid of the virus. I thought that I would have to live the rest of my life without any lasting intimacy.
I was lost in a sea of despair. This was because my doctor told me that I would need to be on drugs for the rest of my life. He also said to forget about ever having sex with anyone ever again. After hearing this I was very angry. There had to be something I could do. So I decided to see if I could find another way to deal with my herpes.

After a lot of research I decided to read Sarah Wicox's book "Get Rid of Herpes" ( also available in electronic format here: http://herpestreatment.kyma.info )

The book details a unique method of actually killing viral pathogens responsible for the herpes virus as well as a quick and natural method for healing herpes blisters. After reading the book and taking action in just two days the blisters were gone. I haven't had an outbreak in 2 years.
Modern medicine is mostly all about maintenance of the disease because big pharmaceutical companies are calling the shots. Hooking people on pharmaceuticals means recurring money the big drug companies. They, in turn, pay the doctors to keep writing prescriptions, Don’t look for a real help here.

Answer 3

Once you have HPV, you always have it. However, your body may be able to fight off the symptoms so that the virus stays dormant in your system. Either way, you can still transmit the virus through skin-to-skin contact.

Current CDC statistics:
50% of adult men and women have some strand of HPV
By the age 50, 80% of women will have contracted it

Therefore, you are correct to saying that it is a very common disease. Unlike another Yahoo user implied earlier, having an STD doesn't mean you are promiscuous, especially something like HSV or HPV which is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact and oral sex - as well as sexual intercourse.

However, you are just trying to justify not telling your potential partner if you just assume he probably has it as well. Currently, there is no FDA approved test for men to tell if they have HPV without any visible symptoms. And it should be his choice on if he wants to take the risk or not.

In conclusion, you need to simply tell him the facts. That is your responsibility . . It is up to him if he can accept the truth or not. If he treats you badly because of your condition, he is an un-empathetic person who you wouldn't want to end up with anyway.

I have HSV2 and HPV. I told my boyfriend about both before we had sex. We are now engaged. Honesty is the best policy.

Answer 4

There are two types of herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Both virus types can cause sores around the mouth (herpes labialis) and on the genitals (genital herpes). Cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV).
Cold sores sometimes called fever blisters, are groups of small blisters on the lip and around the mouth. The skin around the blisters is often red, swollen, and sore. The blisters may break open, leak a clear fluid, and then scab over after a few days. They usually heal in several days to 2 weeks.
The herpes simplex virus usually enters the body through a break in the skin around or inside the mouth. It is usually spread when a person touches a cold sore or touches infected fluid—such as from sharing eating utensils or razors, kissing an infected person, or touching that person's saliva. A parent who has a cold sore often spreads the infection to his or her child in this way. Cold sores can also be spread to other areas of the body.
Luckly there is a cure for herpes https://tr.im/68d90

Answer 5

Be honest. It's hard and it hurts, but if he finds out you lied to him (especially if he finds out by contracting it), the repercussions will be much, much worse. Your doctor sounds kind of flaky; HPV can cause serious problems in men as well as women (I think even cancer is a possibility), and by saying that you don't need to tell anyone, he/she is basically telling you that it's okay to spread STDs without notifying your partner.

Turn it around: would you want to be told? Would you abandon your partner if he said he had HPV, or herpes, or any other STD?

Tell him, and as you explain it to him, tell him what the disease is and what it does or can do. Information is a powerful tool, and he may decide you're worth it. If he doesn't, then he wasn't worth it.

And to Nursing Student Ed: reread her question - she is not asking about herpes, nor does she have it.

Answer 6

Aww. I know this isn't going to be what you want to hear but...

Be honest and if he can't accept that you,just like the other 60 or more percent of girls have HPV, then that's his problem for being like that. Don't get too upset :[ I feel bad for you. In the end,it's up to you if you choose to tell him. Remember over 20 million people in the U.S are infected with this. :/

Answer 7

Cold sores are caused by the herpes virus. Many of us already have the cold sore virus dormant in our bodies, and never have a flare up of cold sores. We contracted it as children, as it is a very common virus, and children pick it up easily as they often share food and drinks, and may be less concerned about hand washing and hygiene. Cold sores can be transmitted even when the person does not have a cold sore, though it is less likely to happen then.

remember that you can remove genital warts by surgery, freezing, laser, acid or cream but genital warts can reappear again and again because genital warts appears when your immune system is weak!

I got diagnosed with herpes type 2 about seven years ago, when I was still in college and had a stupid one-night stand. However, Not only was I able to remove all traces of the herpes virus from my system in less than three weeks, but I was also able to start dating again!

https://tr.im/nlOdz

Answer 8

I have HPV as well. It is just as common as you say. I think the "right" thing to do is tell your partner. I mean, if you two have sex, and he gets it... he could pass it on to his wife once he gets married. That is what happened to my husband and I. He didn't know he had it. It's awful. Hope this helps!

Answer 9

I didn't read your entire question, but if you are sexually active with your partner and have an STD, and haven't told him/her, shame on you.
This should be discussed before ANY sort of sexual contact, even just touching with hands.

Five years ago, I dated someone for 4 months who I didn't have sex with because I had a "weird" feeling about the person. I stayed in the relationship because we were good together, but I couldn't bring myself to be sexually intimate. Finally, my partner dumped me because I wouldn't put out. And right after dumping me, my ex admitted to being HIV positive, after previously having claimed to have tested negative.
Yes, HIV is more serious than HPV, but a lie about an STD is the same whether its HIV or HPV...you are ruining that person for LIFE if you have sex with them without first telling them your medical history.

Ok, I read your entire post now. I don't know where you got your information, but your body doesn't fight off herpes. The infection comes and goes as it pleases. You are just lucky if you haven't had a break out in 2 years. Secondly, only about 10% of young people have herpes. In adults, its about 25%. The majority of people don't have herpes.
Still, you have to be HONEST. If he treats you like a leper, you deserve better. The RIGHT MAN will love you with or without herpes.

Answer 10

You must always tell them, it doesn't matter that you fear losing him.. that's what I don't understand. Young people have careless sex and get an std and then wonder why people run when they hear about it. What is wrong with this society that they don't want to teach our kids about abstenence!! Ok tangent I know, but tell him!

Answer 11

Tell him, and if he likes you enough, he will understand. Tell him you will not have sex during an outbreak, and that you will take all the precautions so he doesn't get it. Then if he doesn't understand, he's not worth it.