Should they tell him he is going to die in a few days?

Question

It is about a friend's husband, he needs a heart transplant and his kidney failed , he's been on a dialysis machine since 6 weeks but the docs are saying that his heart can't take it anymore. They will stop the treatment tomorrow and they will let him sleap away.....The family is afraid to tell him anything , do you think they should let him know? He is asking if he is going be home for Christmas......

Answer 1

two years ago my mum was admitted to hospital, she had 5 years earlier suffered a brain hem and survived. she had a very enlarged stomach which the drs couldnt understand. after two weeks they decided to drain her tummy and when they did which they did in one day my mum collapsed. she was unwell for a few days later, bit confused but when i was there during drs visits they spoke to here as tho she could understand them, when i pointed it out that mum didnt understand them they said that tey always treated patients with the dignity they they deserved and that they should be told all about their treatment. a few days later the dr was waiting for me and told me that mum had ovarian cancer and that she had days to live, he said that they had explained this to her and it was only a matter of time, we were more upset that mum was. she was then put on the pathway which is they were not going to treat her any more if she wanted to eat and drink she could but they wouldnt force her. she had morphine as much as she needed no problem, i know mum would have wanted to know and i would also as it gives you the time to put things in order and possibly do things that you wanted to do ( if you are able) before its too late, and not be under the illusion that when i go home im not going to waste any more of my life im going to do........... but it will then be too late, i understand that everyone thinks differently and its really up to the individual if they are wiling to accept such bad
news.
im really sorry for your friends husband but sometimes people know when they are going to pass away im sure mum did

Answer 2

Wait a minute? Are you saying that the doctors made a decision to withhold further dialysis on the assumption that his heart will no longer be able to withstand it?

If that is the case, that's criminal. Its one thing if he died of a heart attack while dialysis was in progress. Its quite another to withhold the dialysis treatments knowing that he would soon succumb to the build up of potassium, inducing a lethal cardiac rhythm.

Let him be the judge of his fate, doctors don't have the right to play god.

Ralph

Answer 3

My grandfather didn't know he had only 2 weeks to live, the whole family thought it was best he didn't know.

He found out what they'd said by accident over 2 years later!!!

It just goes to show that Doctors are not always right and telling him might bring the end of his life sooner rather than later.
I wonder if my grandad would have lived that 3 years longer if we had told him at the time he was about to die.

Answer 4

Yes, he should be told immediately. Contrary to popular belief people who are terminally ill like to be told that they haven't got long to live. Honesty is the best policy, and it will ease his pain and suffering, and he will slip quietly away in his sleep. Honesty is also good for the family because it removes the feeling of guilt; if they are not honest with him they will have to live with that guilt for the rest of their lives. That can be very damaging, of course. And do tell them to enjoy themselves at Christmas too, raise a glass to him, and if it helps, put a photograph of him in a prominant place too. I was very honest with my grandmother when she was terminally ill, I told her everything, and she died very peacefully in her sleep two days. That was 31 years ago, but I still include her in my life, and every Christmas I put a photograph of her on the dining room table. Death my dear is not an ending...its the beginning.

Answer 5

It does not actually matter form anymore. From what I even have considered and heard, he's barely a standing parent now without genuine operational powers. If we became alive, i might think of Al Jazeera might have broadcasted a stay transmission. The flow he helped create is becoming without or with him.

Answer 6

Hello,

(ANS) No! this man should definitely be told he is going to die. He deserves NOT to be lied too, give him the dignity of the truth.

That way he can be more prepared and can say his good byes, and tie up any loose ends with loved ones or friends. If he is NOT told you are robbing him of those opportunities to make peace with himself and others and that's horrible and obscene in my opinion.

**If I was dying I would want to be told so.

Ivan

Answer 7

Unless your friend's husband is just falling down stupid, he's got a good idea what's happening. He knows that his health has taken a turn for the worse, and he knows that his doctors have tried just about everything they know to do. By asking about Christmas, he's probably just trying to be strong for his family.

Answer 8

I think they should tell him, im sure if he knew he was goin to die he would like to say goodbye to the people he loves, although it will be heart breaking it is the right thing to do here. Wish there was something they could do for him! My thought will be with your friend and her husband! x

Answer 9

First thought was YES of course! lol but then when I thouht about it if i was told i was going to die I would start to panic. I think they should treat him, give him a surprise, something really good, or a giant card he can read with lots of notes etc from family and left to sleep. Then at least he will have happy thoughts and family can say their last words and he can die peacefully.

Answer 10

Am I the only one thinking its up to the patients doctor to let him know what's going on? I thought that's what they were supposed to do.

He should know, if he doesn't then there may be things he might want to say that he might not get the chance to if he isn't given the opportunity.