I have a six month old son. Me and his dad broke up before i found out I was pregnant. After I told him he moved and changed his number. I guess he just didn't feel like bein a dad. I know I have a while before this subject will come up but it is driving me crazy that I don't know what to tell my son about why he doesn't have a dad. Any suggestions? I dont want to make my son feel like he wasn't wanted.
2007-10-10 19:17:46 · 11 answers · asked by jenhicks87 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
someone gave an answer that suggested I was sleeping around. As I wrote in my question I was in a relationship with this guy before I found out i was pregnant. it was just ironic I found out I was pregnant after we split. I also have talked to the child support office. I was required to give them his name because me and my son are on caresource. I gave them his name and number and never heard back.
2007-10-11 14:56:28 · update #1
Tell him the truth. You made a mistake by sleeping with a guy who wasn't willing to commit to a relationship with either you or a child. It has/had nothing to do with your son, it was a bad judgement on your part and that is why sex should be saved for only very committed relationships. That is a good way of sending a message to him regarding sleeping around when he is older. Also, the conversation needs to happen in this way only when he is old enough to understand. As far as while he is young, yes he had a father, but he wasn't able to be the dad you hoped for. He wasn't able to have the responsibility so he had to move on.
In no way am I trying to disrespect you - it's a way of telling the truth and sending a message.
Also, as far as getting child support, I wouldn't want child support unless I absolutely had to because I wouldn't want to "share" my child with someone who wouldn't commit in the first place.
Don't stress on it. It will only be one of the many things he'll ask about and it won't ruin his life. Be positive and upbeat about it while he is young and don't make it a negative towards him at all.
Good luck.
2007-10-10 19:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
At such a young age, she would not understand anyway. Only when they are about 3 or 4 yrs old, then they begin to recognise and remember the surroundings. Giving a child love and security is important. If you can do that, then the question of having a dad or without does not make much of a differences. She will get used to be with you, and she will grow up well.
When she is able to understand, you can just tell her the truth. That does not mean that the dad walk out on her. Anything that deals with her dad and herself in future, let them sort it out. As far as you are concern, you guys decided to separate..
take care
2007-10-11 04:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know your sons fathers parents or other relatives?. Perhaps they can help you find him, or even just pass on a letter to him. Let him know your fears for his son in the future, and ask HIM what you think you should do as the pain his son will feel in the future at some time is because of HIM....( I wasnt good enough, thats why my daddy didn't want me sort of thing ).put the ball in his court. If you write a letter put in a photo of your son, it might tug a heart string. Give the father a 2nd chance to decide if he wants to be in your sons life, that way you mightn't need to worry what to tell your son. If he still doesnt want to be involved, I hope someone on here gives you the right answer to save your boy any heartache when the day comes he does ask "wheres my daddy?". Because I can't for the life of me think what else to tell you.
2007-10-11 05:13:23 · answer #3 · answered by aussiechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi friend,
This is always a dilemma for single parents. My advise is to tell your son the truth when he is old enough to understand. Simply assure him that you will always be there for him. Also you need not bad-mouth his dad. Teach him not to hate his dad. When his dad gets older, there will always be this question about "what happened to my son?". Give the father the chance to rectify a wrong & don't deprive your son of his real father.
2007-10-11 04:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ma'am, maybe it is better if you will just tell an aliby now. because a child cannot understand the situation. build the confidence of your child and let the child feel that you alone is enough. be strong and be tough for this matter. your child is more important. comfort him and maybe on his right age, he will understand. let the child feel that you need him much than any other person.
2007-10-11 03:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by dhey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he is old enough to start asking you questions about dad, simply tell him that his father wasn't mature enough to take on the responsibility of parenting. That he couldn't handle it and ran off. Be honest with your son and at the same time, put the blame on his father. My oldest daughters father did similar thing to us before she was born. However, have faith that you will meet someone who will love your son as his own. Remember, any one can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy!
2007-10-11 02:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by pony 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
first off go file with your states child support agency. all you need is his first & last name & hopefully you know at least that. best thing to say is that he just wasn't ready to be a dad. unless you wanna be honest & tell him that his dad's a piece of ****.
2007-10-11 02:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by dkchick123 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him his father was not ready to be a dad. And it does not mean he doesn't love him .And if he wants, you will help him to try and contact his father.
2007-10-11 02:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's like that song, he was old enough to have sex, but not old enough to be a dad...
Sad story.
2007-10-11 02:29:17 · answer #9 · answered by sis 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When the time comes you will find the answer to your question.
2007-10-11 02:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by maran 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋