My bf is quitting smoking, and the last two weeks he's been kind of grumpy. He's not been calling me first and never really ever txt's me. I don't do it overly much to him but I'm tired of feeling like I always have to initiate. When I brought it up last night (after he txt saying that he'd call me after dinner, and it had been 4 hours since he had dinner when I called and he didn't call) he said he just hates phones, hates them with a passion. The thing is we have a long distance relationship, and a phone is important. So basically what I'm wondering is if a guy says I HATE PHONES (I know it means probably exactly that) but if he says he loves you and that you're the one for him, shouldn't he put his hatred for phones aside and make an initiative to CALL his gf???
2007-10-10 07:37:19 · 29 answers · asked by Cynthia 604 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks everyone for responding. I saw common answers among the people who seem to have their heads on straight. Wanted to thank everyone for answering. Update: my bf txt me 3 times yesterday. Once in the morning to say he loves me very much. Second in the afternoon to see how my day was going, and then again at night to say he hopes I had a good day and to say goodnight. I'm just going to back off and see what happens. Thanks again everyone. (oh, and by long distance I mean less than a 2 hour drive away, i'm just north of the border and he's in Seattle)
2007-10-11 03:48:56 · update #1
He just is hating life in general right now. Lots of stress and few ways to relieve it.
Men also have much less use for conversation and don't favor chatting. Girls love to make friendly noise about nothing and see it as a bonding thing. Men use conversation to share information.
He hate the phone because he feels he should talk to you but is angry that you are not there with him to touch and hold.
2007-10-10 07:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by campojoe 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend says that all the time, and we have a long distance relationship too... do not worry! When he says he hates phones, he means he would much rather be talking to you in person. Cell phones are always cutting out and everything... it's so much easier to have a conversation in person. So he's probably just frustrated with the fact that he can't see you and talk to you face-to-face more often. And I explained to my bf that since we live far away, the phone is the only thing we have, and I depend on his calls. He understands that and we do talk on the phone every day... but frankly I'm starting to hate phones too.
So bottom line...
Yes, he should make an initiative to call you. But don't think that he doesn't love you.
2007-10-10 07:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said he's quitting smoking and he's grumpy. Maybe that's the main cause.
How often do you talk? Once a day? Once a week? Once a month? I'm a guy, and I don't talk that much, and I would hate it if talking on the phone becomes a routine daily 'obligation'. There's probably not much going on to talk about. So, live your life, enjoy it, and when he calls, rejoice. If he doesn't call for a month or more, maybe it's time you look for a new 'local' guy who likes to talk on the phone.
Alan G seems to be the guy for you..
OK.. Alan G.. you owe me 20 bucks.. :P
2007-10-10 08:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to talk on the phone too, especially because I'm on the phone often at work. Even so, if I was in a long distance relationship, I'd make the effort to call. It could be the smoking, but it still indicates that he's not interested in putting in the effort it takes to be with you. Sorry.
2007-10-10 08:12:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christianity is a religion, a set of beliefs and values written by humans. This does not mean you hate the people who believe this way, although some of their actions may bother you. Certainly you can hate what the Nazis did, but not the individual soldiers. Lots of those soldiers had to do as were told or be killed or they were brainwashed before encountering their horrible deads. some of course loved their task. In that case, look at the individual. You can always hate a behavior and separate it from the person, but the person may feel very hurt or insulted if you ignore their values. If you believe the person is attacking you, you can pick to allow yourself to feel this way or the choose to allow the person to have their own opinion having absolutely nothing to do with you. this latter move, does take some training and a lot of self confidence, but it works like a charm. Very, very few people bother me. I take them for who they are and go on with my life. Interesting questions.
2016-04-08 01:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People call if that's the only way to communicate and they WANT to call. Seems like his desire to do so is lacking. It might have to do with him quitting smoking. It can be a stressful time for everyone else around.
Hopefully it's not a lost cause. Try to talk to him about it. If he's not receptive about trying to call more or initiate contact then you might need to reevaluate the situation.
Good luck!
2007-10-10 07:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by jellybean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quitting smoking is hard and can make you beyond irrational to the point of not really being nice to anyone, even those you actually care about. If this hatred of phones is a new development along with the quitting, I'd chalk it up to him needing a nic fix, but if it's always been this way; you may need to reevaluate wether staying in this relationship will actually make you happy. Good luck.
2007-10-10 07:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
WAY too many things wrong with this situation:
1) Long distance relationships DO NOT WORK!!! I can't stress this enough.
2) He's trying to get over not smoking. Withdrawal takes a long time in some people; and, since he has chosen no other outlet for it, he's stressing at everyone and everything.
3) You're not exactly helping with your paranoia. I'm not saying you're the only girl paranoid of her boyfriend (too many out there). I'm just saying knock it off. When he's ready to talk to you, HE WILL TALK TO YOU. Constant texts, e-mails, phone calls, etc. will only make things worse.
Either break up with him (logical thing to do) or wait it out without bugging him so much. He knows you care. Now care enough to give him time to work things out for himself.
2007-10-10 07:44:48 · answer #8 · answered by Paul V 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I dont really like phones either, and if i had to quite smoking id be going crazy... still i think having a long distance relationship, and saying that you love that person would be enough to call them.
2007-10-10 07:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um... this guy is lying to you.
I love phones. Wanna know why? Because I have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and it is the only way to keep in touch with her between times we can be together.
The guy you describe to me does not love you. Love is an action word. Actions have to match the words. he doesn't love you.
If you were my girlfriend, I would want to talk with you all the time. I would LOVE phones, because it was the way for us to connect.
I hope you get the message and that you love yourself enough to lose this guy and put yourself into a position to allow some really nice guy to REALLY love you!
My best wishes to you!
2007-10-10 07:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by Alvin York 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋