Student in grade 7 yelled inappropriate comments (out of a second story window at school)to a special ed?

Question

student. The boy's mother was with him at the time and heard these insults 4 times.Her son was hurt.His mother went to the classsroom to find it was unsupervised.She told the students she didn't appreciate the comments, etc and told principal that they should try find out the guilty party.The principal later called the mom and said the child who did it "confessed " and his parents were contacted. I think the bully should have had to write a letter of apology and sign his name (whether the apology was sincere or not) .At least it would teach him that actions have consequences.By the way there has been no consequence that we know of and the victim in this case still does not know who said the hurtful words.I am the aunt of this young boy and was curious what others think the principal and teacher should have done?

I think that I would just like to know that the kid who did this actually gets a consequence.I'm just suspicious that someone supposedly came forward and admitted they said it.I think it is hard enough to be a special needs student without having to deal with the cowardly act of a bully.By the if the parents of this kid were contacted they haven't had their son apologise.I think it would also teach him a little about humility as well.

to poster Ookpik :- it is not uncommon for parents to say "My child wouldn't do that" or It's just kids being kids".This student who was the bully had his fake courage to say these things from a distance and assumed he would never be caught. The child who is the victim did not say or do anything at all to this other student, he was going home because he was sick.Some parents not all) are too eager to bury their head in the sand.Bullying is finally being recognised for what it is anti-social behaviour. I can assure you if your child were called these names you would not ignore it.Why shouldn't the bully have to acknowledge his behaviour was wrong? No one wants a public flogging just accountability. If it isn't expected from children ,when will they learn it?

To Oookpik , Isn't it harassment to bully others simply because you can?

To Beryl-ca :- the student responsible was not a spec. ed student, he was in the mainstream program.I had some concerns that the bully could identify his victim but the victim had no idea who was taunting him.I do not usually advocate that parents take matters into their own hand due to the fact emotions may over-rule rational behaviour.What does that teach the children... absolutely nothing. I agree that this should not be solely about punishment but accountability for one's behaviour.

To Beryl-ca :- I just saw your edit and do agree with you to some degree. I just think that the humiliation my nephew felt was very public and the bully shouted to ensure that my nephew would be embarassed and hurt..He gave no thought to how his actions would hurt another.My grand-daughter is only 4 years old and she knows if something is a good thing or a bad thing.Can this bully be functioning lower than a 4 year old and be left unsupervised in the class.

Answer 1

As a teacher and a mother of a special-needs child who was severly bullied in school, I see both sides of this story. Special needs children are continually bullied, ostracized and made to feel different in both small and large ways. No matter how hard we try, it happens. A child yelling those comments out the window is completely unacceptable.

However, you do not know anything about the perpetrator of the crime. He may, in fact, be a special-needs student himself. It is very common for students who are bullied to become bullies, or students to call others the names that they themselves have been called. If he is a special education student, he has federally-protected rights that the principal cannot, under penalty of law, violate. Nor would it serve any purpose to just punish without teaching him any lessons.

Additionally, he has a right to privacy. His punishment is not a matter for public record. You have a right to know that he was dealt with, but you do not have a right to know his name, or the details of his punishment. I understand that this may seem frustrating to you, but you have think how you would feel if the situation were reversed. You would not want another parent to know your child's name. That could endanger your child. Trust me, I have seen parents arrested for assaulting children (grade 7!) over such things.

The important thing is that both children learn important lessons. These lessons can be learned without the letter. The first is that your nephew learn that he is valued and not to let someone else's comments determine his worth. We all have to learn that lesson, so remind him of that, too. Second, the bully needs to learn that he does not have the right to use any type of defamitory language or to bully anyone. Schools have programs to teach this lesson, and I hope he is enrolled.

Good luck to all.

Edit:

Many special needs students are in "mainstream" programs without their peers or other adults knowing. You cannot judge a student by his class.

Answer 2

I understand your defensivness, my brother is mentally handicap and I was always defending him as a child. It amazes me that kids can be so cruel, when they can also be so sweet. I am sorry your nephew had to go through that. That is life though. kids will always taunt the "weaker" of the lot. I do not say this to hurt you but it is a fact. I think that the little Turds should have been suspended, for a day or two. Kids should be made accountable for there actions, and when you say something that will be hurtful to another person, you should be removed from the group of friends who you were showing off for. Maybe they will see that there is consequences if they continue with there hurtful behavior.

Answer 3

You have a great idea, but I would take it a step further. How about a 10 page essay on special needs kids and the programs that the school district has available to them? Plus the letter of apology and some community service time. If we do not make children accountable for their actions while they are children they will never become responsible adults. A 12-13 year old child knows better...and should be treated like they do know better. Actions = consequences and not just a little "talk".

Answer 4

I totally agree with you. That child that said hurtful things should be punished. I feel the punishment should fit the crime so to speak. Instead of suspending him for a day or two (which might be an enjoyed break from school) I would say having him volunteer a day or two with the special needs children. I think if a child would volunteer it just might change their way of looking at others. Special need kids are awesome! I work in a school cafeteria and enjoy my job, but I would much rather work with Special needs kids! Good Luck!

Answer 5

Abuse, whether from an adult or a peer, is very damaging to a child, and a school simply cannot allow it. The child should be punished with a detentions, extra work etc. Plus he should he write a letter of apology. Since it happened at school, the school should be responsible for making sure the family gets the letter and informing them of what his consequences will be.

Answer 6

I think the mother should go visit the principal and ask him what the consequence was to this student. The school should levy some kind of punishment for the offense besides contacting parents. She filed the complaint, I think she has a right to follow up.

Answer 7

I think that is horrible what the bully did. He needs to get at least a10 day suspension plus a PUBLIC apology to the boy and his mom, in front of the school, with everyone watching, and to participate in a peer advocate program or community service.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

My goodness...do you want a public flogging? A phone call to the guilty party's parents IS a punishment...the school acted appropriately...and your sister was completely out of line in confronting the students....that constitutes harassment. She should have reported the incident to the office, and left it at that.

Answer 10

the child who insulted the child who is a special needs student should have have 2 detentions and a written apology