How many other diabetics out there get to a point of extreme frustration??

Question

Ive had this damn disease for 8 years but I still have moments when I get these out of control bouts of rage at feeling like I have so much of what wouldve been a much easier, normal life just robbed from me because of my worthless pancreas. It just had to make me suffer like this. Ive been put on disability at my job because my blood sugars go too low a lot of the time no matter how many times a day I check them and eat. They say well maybe this job isnt for you because it doesnt fit in with your diabetes lifestyle! God nothing goes right and I tried soo hard to control my blood sugars!? Not being able to ever "just eat something" without having to immediately worry ohhh.... whats my blood sugar going to do now? Its like im carrying around this huge weight on my chest and no matter what I do it wont leave me the hell alone, God do I feel pissed!!!

Answer 1

Yes. This is normal. I assume you are a Type 1. People who don't have this disease do not realize just how hard it can be. People with Type 1 run the risk of severe hypoglycemia (seizures) and hyperglycemia (including DKA coma) daily. Despite multiple injections and fingersticks. Children with Type 1 have died in their sleep from unexpected hypoglycemia.

People with Type 1 also realize that one day this disease may leave them blind, an amputee, and on dialysis despite their best efforts to control it. The technology they have is inadequate, and yet they are often blamed by doctors and society when something goes wrong.

They get frustrated, as they are mistakenly told by misinformed people that there is a new diet or pill that can "cure" them, and that they could have prevented their disease. This is because most people are not even aware Type 1 diabetes (an unpreventable autoimmune disease) even exists due to the media coverage pertaining to Type 2 diabetes, the obesity related form.

It is all relative, and it usually seems like it is as bad as it gets, even if it's not cancer.

I think my best advice is to do the best you can, and realize that you are doing an amazing job. It is very hard to be your pancreas in addition to living your life.

Type 1 diabetes is very hard to control, and your BG levels will NEVER be perfect, always stable, or 100% predictable.

I would suggest that you try to keep your target range a little higher if you are having severe or frequent lows. This puts your brain at risk, and can endanger others if you are driving, for example. I know that diabetics have it burned into their brain that hyperglycemia=bad. This is true, but so is hypoglycemia, the side effect of intensive control that is not often addressed.

Review your treatment plan with a Diabetes Educator. Maybe you need to adjust your carb ratios, correction factors, or basal insulin. If you are not familiar with these terms, you need to be. Are you on a basal/bolus routine using Lantus/Levemir and an analogue such as Humalog? Have you tried an insulin pump? For a Type 2 diabetic, a medication adjustment would be in order.

Other disorders commonly found in Type 1's that can affect control are: Celiac Disease, Addison's Disease, and autoimmune thyroid disorders. These are easily tested for if a doctor suspects them in a patient with sudden control issues.

Finally, nobody realizes the mental toll of living with this disease over the long haul. If you can talk to a psychologist that is familiar with diabetes patients, that would be helpful. Or join a local support group.

Get involved in fundraising, clinical trials, and volunteer to mentor newly diagnosed diabetics and provide support. It goes both ways.

Stay on top of the current research, and keep your head up.

Until there is a cure....

P.S. You can contact the ADA/CDA Advocacy Team for help with your job.

EDIT: Dr.Evil has given you some very good advice! Make sure you are not over treating your highs and lows, and make sure you understand your insulin durations, peaks, and doses. Exercise and stress can also cause BG's to lower or rise. You need to adjust your insulin to your activity, and avoid insulin overlap.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Carebear, you really can't let it get you down. In the end, the grumps won't get you anywhere. You have to renew your determination to understand how the beast works and conquer it. Once you're there, you can't nitpick about every little setback, because it can be obsessive. A CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator) is the best guidance for a Type I. (Most insurance will pay for this.) When you are working with them, you can't make excuses to them or yourself in implementing an effective regimen. Most likely, this is going to be with you the rest of your life. Doing something about it now and sticking with it will allow you to live a relatively normal life. Halfway measures, procrastination, and excuses will just prolong the inevitable.

Yeah, it's tough talk, but you need to pull yourself out of the funk and do something that actually makes a difference for your own sake. I've been a Type I for 23 years. I was 17 when it happened and likely on my way to being valedictorian of my high school class. When I was in the hospital after diagnosis, I thought the world had fallen apart. Not knowing anything about diabetes and having a healthy fear of shots can make a young person expect the worse. However, a nurse there hammered home that I couldn't let it control my life, as I had a lot of years ahead to live with it. If I did what they taught me, I could do just about anything I could do before. I graduated ninth in my class and went on to college, working my way through to pay my tuition. It was really tough juggling it all, but I am proud to say I did it.

There have been times over the years when I look back and wonder where my life might have gone without the diabetes, but I remind myself that I probably would not have taken my healthcare as seriously and there are some great people I would not have otherwise met. I also consider myself fortunate that I live in the 21st century when we actually have a choice and the technology to effectively take care of the condition. Had I been born 100 years ago, it would have basically been a slow death. However, keep in mind that it is YOU who is in charge of your body's upkeep. Your doctor, CDE, or pharmacist can't hold your hand 24 hours a day and they can't force you to take it seriously.

I follow diabetes research quite a bit on the subject. There are so many breakthroughs that are right on the verge of being proven, likely within the next five years. You never know what's around the corner, but you have to be here to find out. :)

Answer 4

I feel your pain. I have been diabetic (type I) for 20 years on Halloween (ironic, isn't it). For year I fought the frustration but I never questioned why. Why...because I can handle it. God never gives me more than I can handle. It is difficult and many times I am angry and sometimes don't even know why. When I think of the future and what it COULD be like...it is terrifying to say the least. But when I look back over the last 20 years, I think, hey, it hasn't been soooo bad. My boyfriend's dad is dying from brain cancer, death is the only option. When I compare the two it really isn't so bad. I am currently healthy and have had no complications and I know many others who have had it longer than I have and they have no complications.

Maybe you should look into a support group. Surround yourself with others in the same situation. It has helped me in that past. Keep your chin up. I know what you are going through and it seems many other do too. It is natural to be frustrated as we live with trials every day and no day is ever the same. But I try to remind myself that my life is an adventure and sometimes I don't like the path given to me but that doesn't mean I can't use it to help others.

Good luck, I hope you find some peace!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Without sounding patronizing, there really are worse things that can happen. I realized that when I went to a Ronald McDonald house dinner with some friends and you see children having to suffer through some stuff I couldn't imagine having the courage to deal with.
I'm a type 1 for 6 years and it sucks but it is managable. It is very hard to manage, I agree, and I go off the deep end a lot getting pissed and saying why me. But there has to be some good things going on in your life that you can look to to get your mind off your disease. I know that too is hard.
I learned that diabetes can control you or you can control your diabetes. I chose to do the latter, although I don't do a good job at it more often than not. Cliche time: You are here on earth for someone. Keep your chin up and try like hell to stay in control. It is ok to get pissed, but that just raises sugar levels so vent all of that frustration to exercise and it will benefit your health.
Honestly, good luck to you. You have it in you to deal with this disease. Have a good holiday and don't eat fudge, it will send your sugars to the moon. I found out the hard way. :)

Answer 7

I understand!!! I left a job because it didn't fit in with my "diabetic lifestyle". Good pay, decent hours--but I couldn't snack when I needed to, or eat lunch when I needed to. Oh well! I found another job with a boss who understands. There are days when I would love to jump headfirst into a box of cookies!! But I can't and so that's it!!. I've had cancer and diabetes--of the two I'm thinking I prefer the diabetes! Treatment is not near as exhausting, just a pain in the butt. And really it's not that difficult if you just follow the diet and take the meds. And yes I do cheat and I have jumped headfirst into a box of cookies. Didn't feel real good the next day. Don't get down on yourself! It's not easy, but you know what to do, and you'll be fine! This time of year is especially hard with all the goodies floating around. Go ahead and do what I do--get pissed, feel bad for yourself and have your own little pity party (I'm not being snotty-I really do this!!) for a day or so, then get it back together and do what you have to do. It'll be OKAY!!!

Answer 8

Hey i def know the feeling im a type 1 for almost 10 years it really does suck. I have 3 beautiful children none with diabetes as of yet. I also have delpression and anxiety issues may be from having diabetes not really sure but i have having to always worry bout having a low blood sugar i have the way it feels having a low bloos sugar. I also hate having high blood sugars they make me just want to go to sleep. I havent had any complications from diabetes yet thank god im on the pump so im in pretty good control but there are times that it just goes upor down and just try to fix it. This time of the year is pretty bad for me i get really depressed and all so im trying to make it through having diabetes dont help let me tell you. I can cheat once in awhile an take extra insulin but it still sucks. The only good thing is my a1c was 5.9 in october. well just want to let you know i know what your going through it sucks but what can you do i control my diabetes not the other way around. also there is alot of sugar free stuff out there that makes it alot easier. well happy holidays.

Answer 9

I can't relate directly, but my husband is a diabetic. I know it's a terrible thing, but you're lucky. It could have been something else. At least you can live pretty normal. You are able to walk and talk and comprehend. Some people don't have that. I'm sorry to hear that it has affected your work. What did you do for a living? You really just gotta hang in there. I know it's frustrating. I'm living it as well, just from a different angle. I often wake up to my husband convulsing due do low blood sugar. You'll be fine. You have every right to be angry, but just be thankful as well.

Answer 10

Reginachick and Dr. Evil are right. I would also suggest you keep your target numbers a little higher. I understand your frustration. When I got back on track trying to take care of my diabetes in my late 20's I always wanted those numbers between 80 and 120. I was having a lot of lows, a lot of issues with my long acting insulin not working right for me, and hypo unawareness. One day when transporting a child I worked with, I went so low, I went unconscious. Next thing I knew I was in an ambulance with a glucose IV, on my way to the ER. Thank God, the only things injured were my pride and the car. At that time I went on the pump. It has made things a lot better for me. Of course my endo was still pushing those 80-120 numbers on me, but when I met with my CDE (she is also type 1), she tells me it's all great to have the low A1C's and less risk for complications, but if you die in a car wreck because of a hypo, you won't be around anyway. That was my epiphany. Now my target range is 100-150. I don't give myself any extra insulin for anything under 200. With my higher target ranges, my symptoms for hypos have returned.