Here goes a family member was invited to thanksgiving dinner. He has since been charged with a crime and is out on bail. The rest of the dinner guests including my husband are opposed to his presence at the meal. (aside from his charges he is rather rude sometimes) This particular instance made the evening news and local papers. I would prefer to just assume he isn't coming and let it go.
2006-11-19 10:35:32 · 19 answers · asked by angela_brown74 1 in Food & Drink ➔ Entertaining
Be honest, tell him that some of the others invited are uncomfortable with what just transpired on public TV. Tell him you think he may feel quite uncomfortable dining with people who are not "thankful" that he is among them. Then just tell him that you hope all goes well for him and that he'll be exhonerated of the charges and that you wish things were different. I assume the last part is truem but you know what people say about assuming.
2006-11-19 23:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be getting a lot of flack about your concern. As someone who hosts numerous parties through out the year- I understand your frustration. There is time & money involved and setting up "an event" takes more effort than people realize. I plan right down to the person - so when an extra shows up- it does throw everything out whack. (5? Good Lord!) The hostess was 80 years old? She probably didn't appreciate the extra guests and no doubt had to stretch her budget for extra food and take a valium before they came. Older folks don't handle "surprises" very well and her generation would have thought it was extremely rude to bring people in tow. Not only are food portions suddenly changed- but when you have people (strangers) in your home- there are other worries. Many older folks worry about belongings being snatched, will youth take the seating from older friends who were invited, noise & the water bill from extra flushes of the toilet. (YES- they do worry about that) They opened their home and should be able to control who comes into it. Those on this site giving you grief about that- probably have been uninvited guests themselves and don't see a problem with it.
2016-05-22 04:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably will not like my opinion but, here goes.
If you did not have mis-givings when you invited him you should not un-invite him now. You say he was "charged" with a crime. Not convicted.
The only way i would un-invite him is if were a threat to anyone. When he arrives, take him aside and politely ask him to keep a low profile and that if he does not he will be asked to leave.
You do not owe the other guests an explaination.
Don't be rude yourself. This is the Holiday season.
2006-11-19 11:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by Smurfetta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never assume anything - if you do not want him or anyone in your home for dinner simply call and let them know. He will accept you rejection and is most likely expecting it. If you know of an "open house dinner" one sponsored by a church or other community outreach recommend he go there so at least he can have dinner with people who want him around.
2006-11-19 13:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally, would just get through the day. If you uninvite him, this could real bad things from verbal to physical to a horrible Thanksgiving. Don't invite next year, tell him your going out somewhere. Good luck!
2006-11-19 10:39:48 · answer #5 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So much for innocent until proven guilty! Even his own FAMILY has already judged him guilty! So much also for family love! When I was a child family was about loving and supporting each other no matter what! If he's rude, you cover that. Explain proper behavior to him. That should have been done when he was a KID!
IF you want to exclude him, then have the guts to tell him so. If you're going to stab someone in the back, do it honestly at least!
2006-11-19 10:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being honest has always been my policy. Seeing that this individual is of some sort of family member who is not too wanted, I think you should let him know what place you are in...THE MIDDLE.. And tho you do not want to offend anyone you would appreciate that he not come and make everyones day a mess. He might get mad but then you know you did the right thing being honest...GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-19 10:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by snowmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, explain it to the guest that he needs to understand that there will be some guests who are uncomfortable with his presence, and that you'd like it if he would find somewhere else to have the holiday.
If he has nowhere else to go, you may direct him to places who are holding holiday dinners around town, or pay for him to have a dinner and a movie.
This one's tough!
2006-11-19 10:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Amelia N 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be truthful to him and tell him you would prefer that he did not attend, because of his actions. the truth is always the best. If u assume he isnt coming, and he shows up, people may be rude to him and that in turn could make him be even more rude back, ruining an otherwise happy occasion.
2006-11-19 10:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by sybnlvr 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What happened to "innocent until proven guilty"? He was "rude sometimes" when you invited him. You should have thought things through before making him welcome. I think it would be wrong to exclude him at this stage. Assume he _is_ coming - set his place at the table. If he doesn't show us, you lucked out. Don't hold dinner.
Hope that helps!
2006-11-19 10:46:11 · answer #10 · answered by love2travel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋