Should I ask partner about HIV status?

Question

I am dating someone who was incarcerated for 4.5 years. He has since turned his life around and works an honest job. I like him a lot but am concerned about whether he may have HIV because he was in jail for so long and I know what some guys do in jail when there's no women around. However, I don't feel comfortable flat out asking him if he was engaging in acts that could have caused him to get HIV. Help!

Answer 1

Yes, absolutely.

Answer 2

First of all, I think a rubber is a good idea whether you ask him or not. But PRISON IS NOT THE ONLY PLACE TO PICK UP HIV!!! If you are serious about this guy, then you should BOTH go and get tested for HIV together and then plan accordingly. And even if you decide that a condom is not necessary because you are both HIV negative (and I hope you are) don't forget to use some other form of birth control! Good luck!

Answer 3

how's this why don't you and him get tested even if you think you have no reason to right now, so he doesn't think your just targeting him, Tell him that you would like to get tested for hiv, and other stds and you would like if he does to because then you guys will both know you are clean and don't have nothing to worry about... Thats how i think you should handle this situation Just because he was in jail doesn't mean that he turned into homosexuality, 4.5 years is a while but its not life or 20 so i don't see why he couldn't wait to get have sex with a female if thats what he perfers, but he could have got that disease or any other disease before he was even in there. Normaly when you go to jail, they check your penis for std's and aids ... Well good luck 2 you

Answer 4

PEOPLE LIE! I was raped, but I came out HIV NEGATIVE from the situation. I knew the person and he proved to me all he can that he had no STDs to prevent from going to jail for rape. He still got in trouble either way, but in the meanwhile, I have done extensive research on STD/HIV, and I also work at a STD Clinic and I hear it everyday about partners lying, partners not including other information, misinterpreting the wrong details, clients in shock and some in denial. It is very sad for most that I had witness. So, honestly, I do not trust anyone who tells me 100% STD free.

Answer 5

HIV can be caught in a number of different ways, so if you asked him, you wouldn't have to mention what you're implying in your question. You could, for example, ask him if he has engaged in drug taking at ANY time in his life, not just in jail.

You say you don't feel comfortable asking him about any acts he may have been involved in - maybe you can suggest that you BOTH get tested for HIV... that way, it doesn't seem as though you don't trust him.

The important thing is that you talk to him about it. Give yourself a pat on the back... a lot of people wouldn't ask out of embarassment, thereby putting themselves at risk also. Please talk to him about it :)

Good luck

Answer 6

Hi,

There's nothing wrong with asking him to get tested for (all Std's) and HIV along with your self. This is something I practice before getting involved with someone. We both get tested for everything and share our results together. It doesn't matter if he was in jail, divorced, degree or no degree, we should all take the responsibility of getting tested with our partners before having an intimate relationship with whomever. I'm sure both parties would like to have a peace of mind before getting intimate and always use a condom..........

Answer 7

no matter how sensitive a subject it is you should ask him.....it is your body that he may be affecting. If you are planning on having a relationship with this man then you need to be straight forward and ask..the only way to know is to ask no matter how the question might seem to him at the time. just explain to him that you would like to know if he has been tested for HIV and if he hasnt simply tell them that you require it before you are physical with him.you dont have to ask him if he was intimate while he was in prison cause that is something they usually dont want to talk about....just ask him to get tested for STD's

Answer 8

If you are not yet sexually active I would probably either try to find a casual way to ask or just wait. However, if you are sexually active or thinking about becoming active, I strongly recommend having a dicussion with him about it. You should also be honest in your activities. Any sexually transmitted disease is bad news and as sex partners you should both be open to telling your partner if they may become infected. I would suggest just sitting down with him and explaining your concerns, maybe making the catagory more broad at first "Honey, I really enjoy being with you and I wanted to talk about sexual diseases before we did anything together...have you ever been tested or do you have any? Would you get tested with me?" Make sure not to accuse but instead to do it together. Good luck.

Answer 9

You have every right to know. That can kill you. Unfortunately the odds are quite high that he is infected with some transmittable disease, if not HIV, then hepatitis. You have to look out for yourself. If he is offended, he is not very understanding of your concerns. I certainly would not have any relations with him until he has been tested!

Answer 10

OMG,this is nothing to be messing around with! if you feel comfortable enough to be considering sleeping with this man,then you HAVE to ask him!!!! for your own health's sake! don't just flat out ask him,come on,be a little creative! i mean,he probably was with other women before his incarcerated days,so start there and work your way to present day. later in your relationship you may feel more comfy asking him about his "prison days". be safe!

Answer 11

Ask him if he has ever had an HIV test. If he says no tell him you think you both should go get on. Dont mention prison.