My brother says I shouldn't keep telling my son I love him, he says men don't like it, says it's bad for lads. He could never hug my mum either.
It's said by me thus, "Luv ya loads." at the end of text messages or emails. "Love you my son." when I hug hallo, or goodbye. And when we disagree, which is often, because he has Asperger Syndrome... high grade, IQ 129. But is emotionally quite young around, 8-10 yrs. He is 23, works full time and has, since he was sixteen.
2006-09-10 13:13:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Froggie: you story touched my heart. It is the very reason why, I tell my son I love him often. Life experience taught me this same lesson. Having lost my dad at age 23, I valued those three little words very young.
Pilgrim: I am so sorry that your pain is still so raw, I beg you to forgive inside your heart and love your parent. I was unloved by my parents, and very badly treated by them and older siblings, so much so, I ended up in hospital and in care. My mother was orphaned at age eight, raised in a convent and treated very badly, was never mothered, did not know how to mother, or reach out, unlike me, who was born both tactile and very loving. God decided I would get the maternal genes and if there's an opposite to Asperger Syndrome, I'm it! I forgave my parents in my heart. They only expressed love for me, just before they died. It took till I was 55 to hear it from my mum, she died months six later. We must forgive, because if we don't, we are damaged in our souls.
2006-09-11 10:07:07 · update #1
Jacky: you clearly know about Asperger Syndrome, but I've lived with it inside my home through my son and his dad for 30 years, long before it was known about in the UK. Before it had a name. I had to train the GP in it, so he could help others, and ran a help web site for partners for twoo years before it overwhelmed me, for parents and children of AS. It has levels of severity, and some do have a little empathy, not much, but a little, in spates. I'm working on a book about it at the suggestion of GP and literary agent, because it has been romaticised too much lately, since in an adult, it is a cruel and bizarre condition and damages the carer, the extended families and their colleagues, and not, the sufferer. They mostly don't even know they have a problem. And can never see how it rebounds on you!
2006-09-11 21:08:24 · update #2
When I was a teenager it was kinda weird when she did it in front of my friends but I didnt mind it per see. Actually made me feel good, wouldnt tell her that but it made me feel secure. hope that helps.
2006-09-10 13:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by mrjwm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I don't really here it too often these days. Can't remember the last time I did. I feel like the family relationship doesn't require that phrase because I never could differentiate family love from relationship love in my mind. Love is like I love you and I want to kiss you. There's also an indifferent love but family love is more like an "adore" or a like. Some form of strong compassion but I never found it fitting to call it love.
2006-09-10 20:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Answerer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
Because I knew it wasn't true. And anyone who knew her knew it was nothing more than an act to appear normal in public.
If it was true she wouldn't have beat us and threaten to kill us if we told anyone.
She's now in a nursing home, can't walk, can't stand up, has oozing sores all over, and ya know what?
I can't feel anything for her. Just angry that I have to pay the costs when she dies because my brothers don't earn enough.
I would have given anything to have a loving mother.
Hopefully your brother will get a clue someday.
2006-09-10 20:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by s2scrm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know what asperger syndrome is, been studying it and working with those kids. so u re asking normal men, but your son is different. u can tell him u love him as much as u want - he doesn't know what love or hate is and never will. so for him those re just some words. keep telling him that thou - why not? it can't hurt, he doesn't understand what u mean anyway
2006-09-11 01:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's never wrong to tell your son you love him and to make sure you show him every single day .
Some people see it as a "girl" thing, but it's got nothing to do with that I don't know why they do it, evolution I guess
2006-09-10 20:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Amy G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never heard my mother tell me she loved me, I promised that my children will always know that they are loved. As my sons were growing I insisted that they hug their mother goodbye every time they went out, yes they even did it in front of their buddies. Did it embarrass them? maybe, but their Mother went to work one day and never came home. She was killed on her way home from work. They were very happy they hugged and kissed her goodbye that day. To this day whenever I see or talk to my children I always tell them I love them. Continue, your LOve is very precious to your child.
2006-09-10 20:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really bug me that much, I mean it would if she said something like"I love you sweetie now give me a kiss" or somethin like that if I was gettin out of the car for school or somthing like that I guess.
2006-09-10 20:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by Irish322 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every time she tells me, I thank God for the fact that she's still alive to be able to do so.
EDIT: Oh, Pilgrim. I am so sorry.
2006-09-10 20:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by MrPink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It`s not embarrasing for men when mothers say I Love You !
Maybe for some is but I don`t think so .
2006-09-10 20:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by gay_james_1940s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahha.its no big deal.if a mommyz son is 38 or 40 n still his mommy says she loves him is just bcoz he is still his son.the son whom she gave birth to.the son whom she fed.whom she brought up.he is still a child 4 her.its ok if she says tht she lovz u
2006-09-10 20:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by ash 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋