Just found out I have HPV?

Question

I've had sex with two men my whole life.
The guy I lost my virginity to and my fiance.

I recently found out I have HPV.
I know that the symptoms can take weeks to even years to show up so I don't know which of them gave it to me.

Is there a way for my fiance to get tested to find out if he gave it to me or if the other guy gave it to me.
My fiance is out of town, I haven't told him.
How should I tell him I have it??

----serious answer please----

Answer 1

Hey there,
Firstly, you shouldn't be freaking out so much. I know it's quite a different situation when you go to the doctor and they tell you that you are the new recipient of HPV. Oh! Thank you? you say! Nope! I know it's not exciting news, but believe you, you'll deal with it, and be fine. To the two men you've had in your life, I'm sorry to say, you will never find out who gave it to you. There is no test for men to distinguish HPV or not. You will never be able to find out when you contracted it either. It's terrible in that way. Chances are, your fiance, even if he didn't give it to you, has it though. For people commenting on why you didn't use a condom - Not an issue. That's not fool proof either. And I'm not talking about that 99% pregnancy effictiveness stuff either. I mean, with HPV, a condom does not cover all potentially affected genital areas. A study came out 2 months ago on the effectiveness of condoms in regards to HPV though, it looked as though condoms did in fact help though. But again, also showed that it wasn't a sure thing.

In any event, you should tell him. Not because you're going to be telling him something bad that he should get mad at. It's nothing to get mad at. It's a time that you can support each other in. Discuss what HPV is, what can happen with it, etc. It's seriously gonna be FINE! (Same exact thing happened with me) :)

Good luck! :)

Answer 2

There is no way for you to tell how long you have had the virus or who you got it from. Since, like you said, the symptoms (like warts) can take months and even years to show up. It's impossible for you to tell which guy you got it from because there currently is no test for men to detect HPV. Men usually don't know they have it and go around spreading it unknowingly. They usually find out they have it by developing genital warts, but again, this can take months and even years.

Just tell him when he comes back to town that you have it. It's really not as uncommon as most people think. I have read that 75-80% of the world has HPV while only about 20some% know they have it. Tell him you are unsure if you got it from him or the other guy and that since it can take months and even years for a person to realize they have it, it's impossible for you to know who you got it from. Remember, just because he hasn't developed genital warts doesn't mean he doesn't have the virus. There are over 100 different kinds of HPV and only a handful of them can cause cancer, while another handful can cause warts. So, it's possible he has a kind that doesn't cause warts.

It's also important that you are getting your yearly pap smears done. HPV can cause cervical cancer in women. I got cervical cancer from HPV when I was just 17 years old! It's very serious.

Take care and good luck to you!

Answer 3

Unfortunately, HPV is a pretty mysterious std with about 100 different strains of the virus....some that cause cervical cancer and others genital warts. Unless your fiance has visible signs such as warts, there really isn't a way that he could be tested as HPV testing, other than the pap smear which detects the infection in women and only certain strains.
This is the most common std in America today and most sexually active people are carriers of one form of this virus. Unfortunately, condoms are not very effective in prevention because it is passed via. mucous membranes and exposed skin on skin contact.

Answer 4

There's no way to test your fiance for HPV. I have HPV so I know what you're going through. I have the strain that causes cervical cancer, so make sure you get checked out for that.

But other than the cancer (which I'm proud to say is gone), I'm fine. If I never told my husband I had he, he would've never known. There are no physical symptoms. It's like it's not even there. I know this is a scary time for you, but try not to worry. You're fine. It (the HPV) can and will eventually clear up on it's own.

Answer 5

you know what? i had it too. still till this day i haven
't got a clue. I gave it to a boyfriend cause he took the chance. Check your boyfriends penis for bumps. He might even be the carrier. I would say its your new guy if you've been to doctors since you've been with ex and your doc never noticed anything..... where do you exactly have it? cause my ex's matched up perfectly to where mine use to be. thats one way of checking. Or phone your ex and call his bluff by giving him **** about giving it to you. BTW.. mine showed up 6 months after i was with a couple guys in my teens. Never heard stuff back from any. Good luck! and after 2 attempts with laser surgery...all warts gone... I AM CLEAR... 16 years... nothing

Answer 6

well it's pretty hard to tell where u got it from. i have only had sex w/ one person and i found out that i had hpv. i understand how it feels. as far as i know there is no test for men. i do know that it is a virus but your body can fight it off kinda like the chicken pox. i found i had it 2 yrs ago and all my paps have been normal since. my doctor said once your body fights off the virus you won't pass it on.

Answer 7

The best thing to do is to wait until your fiance arrives home and schedule a time to sit down and discuss the news with him when you have minimal distractions. Be frank, open and honest. There is no way to approach this gently, just tell him. He will need to be tested, and I only pray that he was not the one that transmitted it to you and knew he had it all along. This will raise questions of trust and loyalty. If you two decide to pursue your relationship and go on with your marriage, I strongly suggest marriage counseling.

Answer 8

it would have to be a blood test and he'd have to know what its for and consent. There is no cure for it. Just tell him, most likely if you've had sex without protection he has it if you have it. Good luck and be safe.

Cpl Rush
US Army Combat Medic

Answer 9

find and know all the fact pertaining to the disease so you can answer any question he may have, I want you to asked a physician is there a test for a man
you must tell him soon as he get home.

Answer 10

Tell him and take the stress off yourself. It is not your fault. There is a new technology you should share with your partner.

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