I grew up with parents that did not spoil anyone. I have only been a Christian for a solid 2 ½ years. I am only this far in my walk with Christ because my parents were never church going people. Never did they outwardly show devotion to the one true God. Thus my life was following their footsteps. Working only to get by. Striving for success by how much money I would get paid. My grandmother invited me to a youth Christmas party one year. After that a girl by the name of Mary Melissa Yohn was my motivation to keep going. She kept talking about her relationship with God. I didn’t understand. I didn’t have this relationship. This girl that I like so much motivated me to learn more about what she had. I continued to go to church. My parents thought it was a good idea for me to keep going, for reasons unknown to me. Eventually I went on a mission trip to Mexico where we built houses for the needy. In that environment I for the first time witnessed God’s true love. The next week, on my birthday, I got baptized and accepted Christ into my heart. About a year ago God broke down everything in my life. He did this so that he could reveal his true vision for my life. I was to become a youth minister. To help those who were like me. After 6 months of my parents mocking me and telling me they wouldn’t pay for me to go to college, I finally ended up at southern union. They agreed to pay for that under the pretence that I was going to get a degree in another field. My intention was to get a degree and then become a youth minister during my post grad work. I have battled with my family over this issue for too long. I truly have no fight left in me. I work all the time, I spend little time at church, and in my heart I don’t feel like I am making a difference.
“He begins to die, that quits his desires.” --George Herbert
In my life I see no fruit from my labor. I feel like all that is happening is, day after day, I lead a life that is not holy. My parents still don’t trust me or even aknowledge what I want, I have very little free time, and most of all I feel like I am dying. I feel as if my dreams and God’s vision for my life are too far away. That the obstacle is too great to overcome. I feel dead in my heart. That I am wasting breath.
2007-12-13
13:07:07
·
9 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous