when i moved n w/ my dad i was very depressed sucidal faling outta school anytime i heard a guy say something sweet id completly fall 4 it i was always drugged up not caring about life..2 years later im 17 last year in h.s. im honor roll student i work (not because my parents make me it was my choice) i have my own car that i bought i make my own decisons dont listen 2 what others tell me ....sorry...long story short i changed my hole life around w/ not very much help but im 17 w/ a 10 cerfew on week nights 11 on weekends no if ands or buts if i want to stay the night over a friends my dad told me he wants their address and home phone (really my dad is a super cool guy) and his g/f instigates everything so it makes matters worse i am very responsible but my dad dosnt see it all my friends tell me my dad is to strict but im kinda unsure about the situtation i need help if i sound like im wining just tell me or if u think i should have more freedom what should i say to them???
2007-12-27 23:44:51 · 8 answers · asked by i just do what i do 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off I would say CONGRATULATIONS!!! for turning your life around and for the accomplishments that you've made so far. I too, am a strict parent. My daughter's now both in their 20's had it tough too. Parents do this for their children's best interest trust me it's not to make your life miserable, it is for your safety. The curfew sounds reasonable to me. I believe you should be able to stay over night at a girlfriend's house as far as your father has contact info. I totally agree. Sounds like you got great people in your life who really care about you. Be patient you will be an adult shortly, and will be able to make your own choices in life....
2007-12-28 00:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of locales have legal curfews for people under 18, so what you want and what your dad will agree to may not matter.
Yes your dad is strict, but that's because he's been 17 and he knows how easy it is to give in to peer pressure and do things you might not normally do. He's also responsible for you and it's good that he wants to know where you are and who you are with. If something catastophic were to happen while you were out and he didn't know where you were, that's one of the first things people start screaming "Where were their parents?"
I'm sure you've heard it before, but it really is true: He cares about you and wouldn't check on you if he didn't. Seriously, think about it: Which would you rather have? A parent who checks up on you, knows where you are and with whom? Or one who lets you go where ever and never cares where you are or when you get back?
IMHO, 10PM curfew on a week night is fair. You have school on week nights and need to get enough sleep to function during your school day.
If you want to negotiate your curfew with your dad, don't just say, "I want to stay out later." Tell him when you would like your new curfew to be. Say, "I want to stay out until X". Also you should be prepared to tell him *WHY* you want to stay out later. And it has to be better than "because everyone else does" or some such nonsense. The "because everyone else" argument is an automatic parental shut down--you won't get him to budge ever. Have a real reason, a constructive reason why someone who is 17 needs to be out later than 10PM on a week night or 11PM on a weekend night. Let him know what is open that you can go to. What you plan on doing that time of night.
Good Luck.
2007-12-28 01:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess those aren't bad rules. 11 curfrew on weekends might be able to be pushed up to 11:30 or 12:00. Though 12:00 might be hard because there is a lot of crazy people on the road at 12:00. 10:00 is a good school night cerfew because then you can stay awake in school. As far as the address and phone number for sleepovers, he is just trying to protect you. Maybe get a list of all your friends address's and phone number's so it isn't so embarrassing when he asks, you could just tell him your friends name.
Hope I helped, any more questions PLEASE feel free to e-mail me.
2007-12-28 01:15:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get more freedom when you support yourself. Your curfews seem very reasonable. Maybe when you have your own 17yr old daughter, you'll ask yourself this question.
What I don't understand is if you are on the Honor Roll at school and have turned your life around this way, why would you want to present yourself as someone who cannot communicate. Perhaps your lack of self respect has something to do with your fathers behavior. Educated people do not purposefully use bad grammar or misspell common words. Only people who don't care about themselves do that.
2007-12-28 00:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is right. You are only 17 and I understand about you wanting some independence. Now a days, too many teens are getting in accidents, missing, etc....Your dad is not to strict---he's just concerned with your safety. What's wrong with telling him your friends name, address, and phone number especially if you are on the up and up about things. Some parents don't care where there kids are or what there doing. Be glad you have a concern father that cares about you and your well being.
2007-12-27 23:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kasey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good for you with changing your life around!!!
I personally see a father who is proud of his daughter, loves her very very much, AND, most importantly, wants to make sure she stays "on the right path" and doesn't fall back in to old ways, which tends to happen so often with young kids.
Go with the flow for right now, and be happy that your dad cares and worries about you. Do you know how many people who would die to have someone care about them like your dad seems to care about you? Rather then thinking of is as a "bad" thing, think of it as a "blessing" and count your blessings that you have such love from your father. We still get the names and #'s of the person's house that our 17 year old is sleeping over too, if that's any consolation. That's not necessarily to "check up" on her, but it's also so we know where she is and so we know how to contact her if necessary (for instance, in case her cell phone isn't working or whatever).
Be happy you are so loved. You are his little girl and he just wants to protect you. With time, he will lighten up. Be patient in the meantime.
Good luck!! ;o)
2007-12-28 01:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that they have these rules for your own good, I was 15 with a son and I still had to be the house at 7 on school days and 11 on the weekends.
2007-12-27 23:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by reddie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you dad is right. You've done a great job of turning yourself around. He wants to make sure you don't go back to your past behaviour. He's probably so relieved and grateful to have his daughter back. He wants to protect you.
What should you say to them? How about, "Thanks for loving me."?
2007-12-28 00:16:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋