i'm in my first L-T relationship w/ a man few yrs older than me, everything feels right, we've not fought, together for almost a year. He has expressed he wants a future, shown me so indirectly. We always have a gd time together, we can talk openly about many things, he is so caring.
But,I feel he is un-intentionally unreliable, I've been patient but, it is irritating me, sometimes I feel I am there when he can fit me in...there are always things, like work or he is not feeling well - I know him to be truthful, I understand and let him do what he needs. While things have progressed positively,we seem to dance around each other, when we are together it feels right, we only have our good side to show.
Eg, he was waiting for me and i was waiting for him coz i thought he was busy to meet up and vv..
Are we too selfless to each other? am i selfish for wanting more from him and him to want more from me? should I just wait since it still feels new relationship? all views appreciatd :)
2007-12-27 22:58:42 · 8 answers · asked by dsarkdsamned 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It seems more like normal incidental relationship adjustments that occur between decent people attempting to merge two separate and distinct lives into a cohesive unit. Even the most sensitive and attentive of partners are not without their faults and idiosyncracies. Among insightful people, these quirks endear their partners to them, or at a minimum evoke a good-natured shaking of the head as they think to themselves, "well, that's my baby...".
The challenge then becomes walking the tight-rope between calibrating a fit you can live with and accepting your mate as he is. The overall recurring theme of everything you've said is that this is basically a positive relationship, so establishing balance is your greatest task and you are free to do this at your lesiure without fear of things collapsing all around you in the process. To that I can only add, "congratulations"....few couples are that fortunate.
Good luck, and Happy New Year.
2007-12-27 23:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 17:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by Aaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello there, i hope that you are well.
Have you taken him aside and just sit down and talk out your feelings. Hun i don't think that ether of you are selfish for wanting more from one another. I have been through this and almost lost the guy that i am truly in love with. Here is the big key in a relationship. You two need to communicate with each other. Just talk things out and things should be fine. how long have you two been together?
2007-12-27 23:06:51 · answer #3 · answered by smoothasslik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are absolutely sure that he is being honest about those times he can't see you, then you will just have to be understanding.
Unfortunately, this sounds just like the guy i split up with recently. I found out that the reason he did not have enough time for me was that he was seeing someone else too. His excuses were all lies. We were also "perfect" when we were together, and I believed in him too.
Just be careful you don't get hurt like I did.
2007-12-27 23:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're undergoing is differential in emotions. It seems like you guys were meant to be. You guys should discuss the matter openly and maybe you should take the initiative.
2007-12-28 19:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Rahul™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you've been dating for about a year, and it seems like you really enjoy each other so i think you should tell him how you feel, that you'd like to spend more time with him and that you do see a future with him (if you do)
2007-12-27 23:05:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LO! IT IS ALL IN THE VERY QUESTION DEAR...., TALK TO HIM. IF HE TRULY LOVES U THEN HE WILL SURELY HELP U OUT OF THIS. U ARE NOT AT ALL SELFISH, IT IS JUST THE VERY LOVE WHICH IS MAKING U VERY PASSONATE & CARING ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP. GOOD LUCK.
2007-12-27 23:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by HELL LORD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good on you. Just let him know about whatever it is. Well, if he wants to see you he would ask. Best wishes
2007-12-27 23:09:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋