I don't know how to move on aftr a long time of being kept hanging on... My ex told me that he wants me 2 stick around coz im the only one w/ whom he can be open 2 about everything... id love 2b a friend and a listener, 7 just hope that the friendship will bloom in2 something else again... however, many of my friends told me 2 not stick around anymore, coz he's just making me his "reserve"... you think, i can still stay as a friend and just hope for the best that someday, he might like me again? Or not anymore, and just leave him? If your choice is the latter, how do i start moving on??? How do i teach myself to live with the situation? Please help me...
Man, i've been like this for 3 years.... Coz there really were times when he acts in little ways that only a boyfriend usually does... (holds my hand, getting too close, etc.) That's why i've never really lost hope... his actions had double meanings.. Help me please... I dont wanna be stuck anymore, and I just don't know how to begin
2007-12-27 22:42:24 · 5 answers · asked by pxyraeghll49 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok to put it lightly he only wants u when he is not getting attention from any other girls. sorry for some of these replies as people dont understand that having self respect, and getting a backbone take time, and isnt always the answer. this issue in you goes deeper than hes bieng an asshole and leaving you hanging on........
yes, it hurts you so much more becuz you have held on to something called false hope for too long......but u need to remember that after what i am going to tell you.
on your side, you need to find out what is drawing you to him? His emotional unavailability could have something to do with past hurts and such. I would encourage you to talk to a counselor and get some info on co-dependancy. Dont worry hun, most people are that way, and you can break free and become stronger in time:)
but as for the dude, you need to let him go, and dont make a big scene or try to make him feel bad, be mature and act like it doesnt even phase you. act like you dont care at all. and if you end it, you will see that it will be easier on you. He might even cling to you if you try to go, but this is when you stay strong and say, no u had yer chance, and walk away!
2007-12-27 23:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by kaiors23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey..
i totally understand ur situation...
this guy- you may like him and all, he may be great (im guessing he is, otherwise why would you even want to stick around as a friend?)
but he has a thing in his personality that he plays around with girls, or just isnt serious about relationships. this doesnt make him a bad guy, it just makes him something you arent looking for. let go, because he will keep you waiting, or come and go..nothing real could ever really happen, not something thats forever. be friends...but look in another direction.
if you keep telling yourself that he isnt an option, than after a while, he wont be. i know it sounds absurd that its as simple as that, but my situation was for 2.5 years, and when they told me to do that i did. it worked, and im a hell of a lot happier now. even for the time in between when i didnt even have someone to think about and i was lonely, it was better having nothing than wanting something i could never have.
2007-12-28 07:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Morya tal i 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god... stop being a doormat for this guy... He is an EX for a reason honey... why would you hang on to him?? He's just playing games with you... he's not coming back to you.. it's been 3 years... MOVE ON!! Get some backbone and some self respect....
2007-12-28 06:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start getting out and meeting other people. He is using you when he does not have anyone else. His line about being able to be closer to you is BS. He just wants to keep you handy. Don't be his fool.
2007-12-28 06:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun he is using you ... when he has no one else ...he wants you around ..why put yourself through that ... if its been like this for three years it isn't going to change .. he has had his chance ... this way he is getting his cake and eatting it to .. get out and meet new people ...join a group or club .. volunteer somewhere to spend your extra time (time you spend with him) ...put space between the two of you ... you deserve much more out of life
2007-12-28 07:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋