I'm dating someone from my work. Its not a career; just a pizza place so I didn't think it was a big deal. We've been dating for about a month now and hes been saying things like " I really care about you" or "you make me happy" which I thought was cute and perfectly fine and normal. But I was talking to one of my guy friends tonight and he thinks the guy is either psycho or just in it for a piece of ***. Now I'm a little worried. I really like the guy and it was seeming like he wasn't in it for sex (we haven't gone that far yet anyway.) If we cuddle he says he could hold me forever and all that mushy stuff. What I want to know is, do you think he is just trying to say things I'll like so I'll sleep with him or do you think he really does care? I usually don't say anything when he says it...just to point that out. I feel like its a bit soon since he barely knows me and I'm also going by what friends have been saying... :( What do you think his motive is?
2007-12-27 20:14:24 · 6 answers · asked by Nicole R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Focus on his behavior toward you and not what you divine his motivations to be. Let's be honest here, wouldn't you feel a little disappointed if he truly had no interest in having sex with you? He's a guy..of course he wants to have sex with you...the limbic system demands it! But, most of us figure out how to manage the reptilian portion of our brain.
Try taking him at his word and his actions...if he is cuddling with you and you like that...enjoy the cuddle. If he tries to do something you are not ready for, tell him, and if he respects your wishes, you know he is listening to you. If he continues to try, then he doesn't...but don't build things up in your head to the point where you question everything he says and start to worry about his motivation.
So, to answer your question. I have no idea what his motivations are...and you probably don't either. Let his actions speak louder than your fears, and if you like being with him...enjoy it...if you don't...move on.
2007-12-27 20:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by kuiperbelt2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say without knowing you, him, or how the two of you are when you are actually together. If he talks to you about things that actually matter (like things that have happened in his past, trajedies, opinions on different subjects) then that's a sign that what he is saying to you is probably actually truthful cause he could possibly feel like you're different than most girls and really like you. However if you guys just talk day to day and just basically say hey whats up, how was your day and lalala then more than likely him saying that is only a sign to get in your pants. If more than one of your friends talks negative about him then you might want to listen to them. Afterall, they're looking out for you!
2007-12-28 04:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by Sherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could have told you if I was there.
I think it is your choice.
Some ladies are just too cautious, not every guy out there would rather sweat them out to please the girl on the purpose of pure sex.
If he's been around you for a while and truely did nice things for you, and you are into him as well, you really should give it a shot. Besides, what is so bad for having sex with a guy you like?
Life is too short for over analysis.
2007-12-28 04:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was just after sex, he wouldn't a month for it. To the other guy who said he a physco...that guy sounds like he might be jealous. If the guy you're dating hasn't given you that "creepy feeling" yet, then he's probably ok after a month of hanging with him. Give love a chance
2007-12-28 04:24:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, of course he wants sex. (pretty much) ALL men want sex.
the question is is he in it ONLY for the sex. now.. just because he says mushy **** like that doesn't mean he wants to get in your pants. there's a chance he might really like you. you should just stay together until you figure things out more
2007-12-28 04:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by mabdog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who knows. he may be honest, or he may just want to get into your pants. The only way to know for sure is to make him wait until you really feel his love.
2007-12-28 04:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋