Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with a loud neighbor? My baby can't sleep at night because of it.?

Question

I wrote a letter, if anyone would like critique it?....
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First off, I appreciate you ‘trying’ by taking the music to the back of the house last night, however? It was right under my baby’s head and she was trying to sleep. It could also be heard throughout the whole house, I even tried different rooms, just so I could get her to sleep. And the vacuuming at midnight? I am trying to be patient, I really am but I don’t understand?Can this be done during the day please? Or at least before 9 or 10?
You said that we are loud when you are sleeping, but I have never vacuumed late at night, nor have I ever blasted my radio late at night, my boys also have a bedtime on school nights and on weekends I only let them stay up if they are watching a movie or something mellow . And when my boys do get wild, they get into a lot of trouble! just ask them how many days they have been grounded simply for being too loud. I do my best. We are just ‘living’, you know? You’ve got to live. I realize
these walls are paper thin and that every step we take must sound loud, but I just wanted to let you know, that we really do try our best to keep it down for you. There are 4 people in this apartment though, 3 of them under the age of 10, but still I am very hard on them and they know that if they jump they are in big trouble with me. So…if we are ever loud, it is a complete accident, never, ever on purpose. It has upset me, because I feel like the music thing is on purpose because you know that it bothers us when it is loud.
I just want to know, what would you do? I don’t know what to do when the house is rumbling and she is trying to sleep. I don’t want to have to ask you to turn it down, I really don’t. I usually just sit and hope that you will. My boys couldn’t sleep last night either, it wasn’t until the music stopped. (around 12:40 am ) that they finally fell asleep on the couch. Then on Christmas morning, screaming and loud music when I would have loved to just sleep with my daughter…
I understand that you ‘need music to clean’ although I’m not this way, I know a lot of people that are, so…what if I actually bought you an MP3 player? Even loaded it with music for you...would that help? I would totally do that. I would love to help you, I know how tough being a single mom can be! I don’t want this to be a silly toddler ‘war’, I think we are adults and better than that. I would like to be friends, even get to know you? I just hope you understand….
So, I guess I was a little taken back by your attitude last night. I was kind to you,but the response I got back was not. When you told me we were loud sometimes, I immediately apologized. You have not apologized to me anytime that I have talked to you about it.
You are totally right when you mentioned you haven’t complained about us before, but you have also not been considerate or even tried to keep it down. So, my question is this…so do you want me to not ask you to turn it down when it’s loud? I could do that, but do you want me to also be considerate as I always have been? Doesn’t seem fair if I am considerate and your not.
Please let me know if you would like help with an MP3 player or even help cleaning? I like music too! I guess I just thought that now that I live in an apartment I should play it loud in my car or headphones. Sorry this is so long, I was up kind of late and would just like to work this out with you…

Hawai'i, Thanks very much for your response. Good head on your shoulders! I won't give her the letter, it IS super long...think I was just venting. Thanks again!

Answer 1

Thats really a long letter. What i would do is just forget about writing your neighbor a letter, because you never know how they will react or if they will do anything about it at all. It's too much effort on your part to give an honest shot on trying to get them to be more respectful. I would just call the police because im sure there is a noise ordanance and vacumming and playing loud music at strange times of the night is not good. I had a neighbor who vacuumed in the middle of the night and i find it very odd and possibly OCD....but call the police when the music turns on. The letter might cause unnecessary drama. Also, you could let your landlord know and they will handle it for you.

I read the rest of your question, by the way. I think its a really bad idea to offer them an mp3 player because if you show respect and they give you none, they will take advantage of your kindness by getting a free mp3 player probably will still play loud music late at night and vacuum.
If you already talked to your neighbor about this and you have those children trying to sleep in your home you need to immediately report her to the landlord and the police.

Oh and it doesn't matter how much noise your household makes during the day, because thats when about 90%+ of the people in your community are actually awake and not trying to get rest.
Noise ordances will start anywhere from 9-12. Good luck with your problem i hope this person gets reported!

Answer 2

Go with the strategy of "Speak Softly But Carry A Big Stick." Be polite once and express how you feel about the situation. Ask them if they could be courteous, and if they do not respond like decent human beings who care about the people around them, unleash living hell on them. Call the cops, leave notes in bright orange folders taped to their door saying how you wish they could be more respectful, don't be afraid to call the cops several times in one night, call the housing association and the cops for the same exact thing, be extremely nice to the kids and give the kids a toy but then call the cops on the parents because their kid kicked something at your property which is technically against the law. It sounds kind of douche-baggish but they are being douchebags so you're allowed to play dirty if they do first. The technique is to be like a sweet furry animal that is nothing but nice and to strike them to where they say to themselves "damn I never saw that coming... I should have been a better person." A common lesson in life is that when people are not being reasonable, the only thing they will respond to is force. They dont seem like the kind of people who listen to reason, but first you have to give them a fair chance. Then unleash everything you have to drive your point home. Good luck.

Answer 3

With all due respect, the letter is too long and I doubt a neighbour who is so thoughtless will even bother to read it.
If you have already asked them to keep the noise down, then your next step should be the authorities...speak to your landlord or the authorities about this.
They have ways of sorting it out.
A longletter like that which just tells the neighbour off will only annoy them.

Answer 4

So first I have a few questions? it sounds like you live in an apartment. Is that where you live?
It also sounds like both you and the neighbor who's making noise has complaints about what the other does.
Have you tried talking. Talking might be interepreted in a better way than by writing a letter because its coming straight from your mouth so if he doesn't understand anything he can just ask you. If talking doesn't go over so well you can always call the police and have them break up his late night party.

Answer 5

I would go to her and tell her that her music and vacuuming late at night prevents your kids from going to sleep at a decent hour. They don't get enough sleep, so they're even MORE rambunctious during the day than they normally would be. Her trying to "get back" at you buy making noise late at night is actually back firing, and if she has a grain of common sense, she'll realize this.

I'm sorry that you're going through this. We used to live in an upstairs apartment (I have two boys--ages 3 and 2) and our downstairs neighbor was CONSTANTLY beating on her ceiling, blaring music, slamming her door, etc. Yes, I realize my kids would go wild sometimes, but they're toddlers for God's sake...you can't expect them to sit with their butts glued to the sofa cushions and watch TV all day. I did try to quiet them as often as possible (they could get a little wild). This might not be what you want to hear, but when our lease was up, we moved to a different complex and got a ground floor apartment. The people above us have a little boy (he's probably 7 or 8) and hard wood floors. They're quiet for the most part, but like any young kid, he occasionally takes of running through the house going 90 mph to get a toy or something, lol. It was sort of annoying at first, but then I realized that I wasn't constantly listening to someone beat on my floor from below me, I didn't feel obligated to tiptoe around on eggshells all the time, etc. Is it possible that you could move to a first floor apartment? I know moving is a hassle, it's expensive, etc., but you'd probably be much happier/more relieved, and your kids will be able to run and play as they want without you constantly trying to quiet them down!

Answer 6

yes, do not give that letter just call the cops.

Gees reminds me of this horriable people we lived by. We rented a basment and when we did they said it was just 2 people (in their 60's) come to find out that was a lie. It was 3 kids (brats) 2 adults, plus the older people who party all the time. They would have parties all the time. I was pregnant and could never sleep. The house was smokey from them smoking, always loud, even had bands on random nights about my room. GEES I am mad thinking about it, lol. You all may have to move to ever get peace bc after all this you will just p them off and they will do more.