So I have recently found out that my father, who my mom has told me my whole life had died when I was litte, is actually alive somewhere and possibly half way to being brain-dead. I've never known much about him or his side of the family because after my dad's mother made him leave my mom, while she was still pregnant, all ties to him and his family were severed. But aparantly his father, my second grandfather, has been trying to contact us lately... My mom wants nothing to do with them and I feel like I need more answers now that I know some of the actual history to this whole mess. That and the fact that I aparantly have a half sister who looks almost exactly like me? Has anyone had anything like this happen to them? How does anyone deal with something like this after 19 years of lies? Thanks, in advance, to anyone who responds.
2007-12-27 16:25:30 · 6 answers · asked by FirEdhel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Everyone should have the right to know where they came from. Unfortunately we sometimes do not get that opportunity. If you do not seek your family now you will never know who you are fully. I have a half sister that i visited about twice before I was twelve. She is my father's daughter from a previous marriage she and my father argued when she was 18 and he vowed nothing to do with her ever again. I am now nearing 40 and i still wonder to this day what became of her and I always am on the look out for her. If I were to see today I would love her as if I knew her all of my life. Your situation is different than mine but I believe you should get to know your family and learn the history. If you really do have a sister, that is great maybe you 2 can actually become close, you share the same blood. I know where I come from that means alot. I think they would welcome you because after all this is not your fault. What happened between your mom and dad is sad and I hope you find your way through all of this mess. Just try to realize your parents were most likely young and did not have a clue as to the situation they were creating. Good Luck!!
2007-12-27 16:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mindin my own biznes 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I didn't see "how old you are". So I'm going to guess you are an adult.
My first question to myself would be: Do I really need these people who have never had social contact with me?
If yes, find the phone number of the party that's been trying to reach you and work out a meeting.
If NO, go about your life like you've done without their social help for 19 years. You'll get over it.
We all have biological mothers and father. Thank God some of those become Mama's and Daddy's. You poor child never seem to have had a Mom or Dad. Maybe it's better you go on with your life and learn something from it. May God lead you to the right answer.
2007-12-27 16:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am sorry. =[
If you still feel like talking to your Dad's side of the family, maybe you could get the number of the person that keeps calling you and your Mom. Try calling him when your Mom is gone or in a different place. Good luck! =]
2007-12-27 16:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Animal Lover ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this did happen in my family.
We took it slowly and now have some wonderful new relatives and some not so wonderful ones. The key is to take everything very slowly. These people will be as nervous as you are. Start out with letters or emails and slowly progress to telephone. Don't rush anything even if the other party wishes it.
We are very glad we took everything so slowly. It gave us time to work out who we felt safe with and who we didn't.
2007-12-27 16:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need answers to your questions. Contact them, and at least get your answers. You will feel better knowing your complete history, and your other famly's health history.
At 16, I gave my son enough info to find his dad, so that his questions were answered. He was grateful that he found out what he needed to know. He then understood why I had to take him away from his father.
2007-12-27 16:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
go to your grandfather yourself and get the answers that you deserve. you are very much part of this, he is your father not your mother's and her keeping a lie this long was a very dumb mistake becuase it ended up hurting alot of people. just go to your grandfather yourself for answers
2007-12-27 17:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋