Need some help in marriage dept. I am having such a hard time being a SWEET, submissive wife. I understand wht it means to be submissive (does not by any means being a slave). But no matter how many book i read (and i have read a lot) I still can not grasp the concept of submission.
Now my husband is 17 years younger than me, that may have something to do with it, i really dont think thats it. I am a new creature in Christ, still being molded.
I just dont want to let my husband lead.
ANY ADVISE, LADIES?
2007-12-27 16:18:45 · 12 answers · asked by JESUSFREAK 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I also read what happened to the marriage between adam and eve in Gen. so it was not just an "idea" from
Paul. and with all due respect you are not a "sister in Christ".
2007-12-27 16:28:56 · update #1
actually Liz, he is very patient with me,
he isnt a tyrant, and he understands that we must submit to God first, then to each other. He understands he is to be a servant-leader. But i want to make the final decision, which, sometimes leads to strife/
2007-12-27 16:33:59 · update #2
Do you fear where your husband would lead you?
Ok, you understand that submission is not about being a man's personal slave, maid, doormat, or even doing sexual acts that you do not want to do.
His being the head of the family, simply means he is responsible both to you and for you. He has a great burden to carry. He is bound by law to provide for and support the family. He is to discuss all major decisions with you and give careful thought and consideration to your concerns and desires. If he makes the decision that later proves wrong or ill fated, he must bear that responsibilty.
As you are older, you are probably a very independant woman used to providing for herself. He knows this, there is no reason for a constant reminder that you know how to support yourself. That can break a man's spirit. It is far easier to tear a man down than to build him up..........the wise and submissive wife will build him up. ( that is not the same as feeding his ego with false praise)
I invite you to give a deep reading to the virtuous wife described in Proverbs 31. She is an admirable woman!
She is valuable
Her husband trusts her...her decisions, input, motives
She is adept within the market place, buying not only household needs but even fields
She is a strong and honorable woman
A submissive wife does not need to demand fair treatment and respect........her very essence commands it!
ps....if you are not "sweet" by nature, your husband to be probably already knows it, no need to change your nature
She is wise and speaks kindly to others..
I just saw your edit.........don't get caught up in who makes what decision. Your history together will show who has the greater strength in different areas. Many, many, men are all to glad to turn the budget over to the wives, and any smart man does not want an unhappy wife!. Let the small things remain small things.
2007-12-27 16:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the Bible it says this "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 And what this is saying is that both of you have to be one in Christ. Not your husband leading or you leading, but the both leading together to make the marriage work. Also ask God to be present in your marriage and He will help you work out whatever differences there are between you. You can also read together Ephesians chapter 5 and Colossians chapter 3 to get a feeling of what husbands and wives are supposed to be.
Hope this helps.
2007-12-28 00:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by lil'one 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you say that you know what it means to be submissive and then you say you don't grasp the concept. From the man's perspective, it seems to me that a woman does not have to any "less than" a man whether she's married to him or not. It was not Jesus who taught that women should be submissive. It was Paul, so this whole concept of submission might be - and note the term here - man made. It's important for us Christians to understand that not everything we read in the Bible is the direct unalterable word of God. Some stuff is definitely man made.
2007-12-28 00:24:13 · answer #3 · answered by Richard B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's tough. I know. I've battled with this particularily because my husband is not a Christian and is therefore not submitting himself to the Lord. I think you're looking at it wrong. Rather than looking at it as though you're submitting to your husband, try looking at it as though you are submitting to the Lord. You have to look at it like this - you are following God's plan for you when you are submissive to your husband. What your husband chooses to do as a result of that submisison, is between him and God.
If you think you're being powerless in submission to your husband, think again. Women really do wield a lot of power with their husbands, through their submission. It's sort of funny how that works. Men are pretty simple creatures. If you feed them, show them gratitude and have sex with them, they're very happy with life. Women are far more complex in their requirements. I don't mean that as a slam to men at all. They're just "programmed" by God to be different from Women.
2007-12-28 00:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by April 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am right there with you. My fiancee is younger but only by a year. I hated that term but I don't know It just seem to fall in to place. we still listen to each other. I think one thing that has something to do with it. I stress really easily and I just asked him to take care of the bills I work and I ask him to make sure its all paid on time that stressed me out so bad that is put a damper on the relationship. I trust him, I ask him how much we have and if we have enough to get this excetra. I guess thats sorta sumitting because I ask him. I never thought that would happen. Pray I did a lot of that.
2007-12-28 00:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being submissive does not mean being stupid. You have l7 years of life experience under your belt that he doesn't have. Try just making suggestions, NICELY, when you feel in your heart you are right, and if you know God has spoken to you just don't do what he says, and tell him that you have heard from God. Believe me, I know what you are talking about. I have gone through it and so has my daughter. God gave man a helpmate because he saw that he needed one! Bless you!
2007-12-28 00:26:12 · answer #6 · answered by karenhjones 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jesus freak? God wants you to respect your mate. You by no means need to submit to his every wish. Just provide him with love equal to that which he shows you. Your husband should treat you as an equal partner in marriage, not as his submissive underling.
2007-12-28 00:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by Liz M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
umm, even tho I understand why you are reaching out about this, and I am willing to help.... this is NOT the place to do so...... message me if you feel God leading you to..... I will then send my e-mail so we can talk.... married 31 yrs here....... go in peace....... God bless
2007-12-28 00:30:41 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your 17 years older than your husband, well, it's probably best he doesn't lead.
2007-12-28 00:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't want your husband to lead you where? I don't understand what you are asking.
2007-12-28 00:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by Medicine Woman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋