ohkay when i was 3 my mom and father broke up.... then when i was 8 my dad got marry to some brainwashing freak..when i was12 they had a baby girl(i like herr).. when she turned 1 they moved to canada.. he never call me or sent me stuff on the holidays...but now he moved back down here and his brainwashing wife thinks if i want my DAD to call me i should just pick up the phone and call him... but if he loves mee i think he would call.... then he called me on christmas.. i picked up and said i dont want you in my life you have no kiddds that like you only(his three year old)(my sis doesnt want to talk to him and my 5 year old brother thinks he is in canada still working from when he was born) Now m i the messeed up one for saying that? what should i tell my little brotherr?? i need help???
2007-12-27 15:20:53 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is one of the big leasons in life that are so hard to get through. You are hurt and in your mind it is easier to push him away and protect yourself so he never does it again right? The truth is that your dad in his mind is trying so when he lays down at night he has a clear mind because he tried to contact you and your the one holding the grudge. The point I am trying to get at is that this is worst on you then anyone else because you are holding so much in. You do need to talk to your dad and tell him exactly how much it hurt when he left and the strain that his wife is putting on your relationship with him. Give the ball back to him and make him fix it, he is the adault after all. Life is to short to hold it in and feel that bad, never forget and always learn but sometimes you have to learn how to let go. Also think about if you were in your dads position and you made a mistake and did what he did. Would you want your kids to never talk to you again? No, you would hope that they would give you another chance. Everyone messes up sometimes, even parents. I write this advise not from a parents point of view but a once very mad teenager. My father had a drinking problem and once told my sister and I that he wished he would have never had us. I was as mad as hell and didnt talk to him for two years almost. He tried all that time once every week to contact me and I would never talk to him. Finally I figured that it was hurting so much inside and that I had to let it out. I had a long talk with my father, alot of good and bad was said but I walked away a better person. I know talk to my Dad every weekend, of course it isnt perfect but nothing ever is. I hope this helps and that you find some comfort in it.
2007-12-27 15:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by t-cup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts to think a parent doesn't love you. There are certain things you want to hear and see from them but they don't live up to your expectations. The hard thing to accept is that we can't make someone love us or want to be with us if they don't want to. You say your Dad is now married to a "brainwashing" wife. It may be that your Dad thinks you don't want him in your life.
Personally, I would try to get my Dad's attention and have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him exactly what you feel. Tell him how much it hurts that he seems to be ignoring you and your siblings. Tell him what you want to see from him and give him a chance to step up to the plate. He may surprise you and you may find he wants the same things. There may be some communication problems that are keeping him away.
On the other hand, it may be that he doesn't want the same things you do. In that case, you need to learn to let go of your expectations. Try not to hate him but don't hold out hope for something that won't happen. He is who he is and he can't be anything else. Just like you are who you are and you can't be anything else. If you don't give him a chance to give you his side of the story you'll never know if you pushed him away or if he chose to leave. Try to talk to him for your own sake so you'll know exactly where you stand with him. If you don't get the response you're hoping for at least you know you tried. That's little consolation if it doesn't turn out the way you want but it will allow you to move forward without wondering if you're doing the right thing.
2007-12-27 23:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you said all of that, but do you really mean it? You're angry and you have every right to be...but deep down inside everybody wants their dads. Feel whatever you need to feel, but don't close yourself off to further dialogue with your father....at least, not permanently. (And who knows how much time any of us have, right? No one's getting any younger.) If you risk doing this, you'll probably get many of the answers you seek (even if they're not pleasant ones), and your eventual relationships with men later on will be happier and healthier. (Oddly true)
What should you tell your little brother? If you tell him anything at all, just tell him the truth as you know it to be...no more, no less.
Good luck as you deal with this. Happy New Year.
2007-12-27 23:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should apologize to everyone/your father and explain your feelings. He is your father, I am sure he loves you and will understand where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do. If he does not care how you feel (and I am sure he does), then he is not a great father and does not deserve your attention.
As for your brother, ask your mom and see what she thinks you should do. You shouldn't tell him anything you're not supposed to be talking about.
2007-12-27 23:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn how to write. It's confusing. Tell your brother the truth and why you told him what you did.
2007-12-27 23:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋