I had my own place for three years, since I was 18. I then got preg. at 21 and had a baby. I moved back with my parents for help during the first year untill I got back on my feet. I am now ready to move out of the house. My mother is really negitive about everything since she has not been working. She drinks alot and it is affecting our family. My father is in his own world and doesn't care. He says to ignore my mother and stay living at home to save money. The negitive **** in my house is affecting me. I created a stress free life before I moved back. It is now painful, depressing, and a head ache back at home. I love my parents but their disfunction is affecting me. I have a roommate to help with everything. I was my independance back!! My parents keep trying to make me feel bad about moving out and my mother is not speaking to me. What do I do?? I don't know how to overcome this. It's hard but I can't live my life for everyone else!! Help!!
2007-12-27 14:58:06 · 24 answers · asked by tmac_tmi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you can afford it on your own....no help from them....then just do it, don't worry about what they say.
2007-12-27 15:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now that you already have a baby, you got to think for the baby. I know it's hard ... if your current situation at home is not happy, you need to sacrify your parent and move out to your own place. Make sure you can take care of the baby when you are alone or your roommate or others can help ? If you are confident of doing it alone, then move on. But pls reason out with your mum for the last time. Tell her how bad is all these situations have caused you. Promise them you will be back every now and then. Tell them the baby can't stand all their disfunction. I know it's a bit selfish but sometimes not living with parents are more close than you are living with them. Anyway, try to visit them more often as they are still your parent and family. Take care ! Good luck !
2007-12-29 00:51:26 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pack up your stuff and you move out! Simple as that!
You seem to have a real grasp of what is going on around you. You need to put yourself and your child in the best possible environment for the two of you. The only question would be whether or not you could do it. The three years you spent away proved that you could.
Your mom seem to be the main problem holding you back. You don't need that aggravation around your child. And the alcoholism is another matter all by itself. If she disagrees with what you are doing well then that is too bad. You are an adult and you have to make decision for yourself. If she does not want to help you or ignores you just let it go. She will come around. The best thing you can do is move out and prove that you can get by all by yourself.
2007-12-27 15:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by Tazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have more then one problem. One ya mother is a drunk, and for that reason alone ya should be on your own w/ a baby. But before you leave drop her off at AA. Because who you dont want to be watching(baby sitting) your child is your drunk mother while your father is in his own world. She thinks she has some sort of hold on something YOU and your child. Because everything else seems to be falling apart for her in her world. Offer her help w/ AA and Move out and hope for the best it is all you can do. And look at the bright side she probably wont remember yesterday tomorrow because she was too drunk. So pack up say what ya need to and begin your Independence. Good luck
2007-12-27 15:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by killinshel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you NEED to get out of there.
The negativity of others can really get you down.
Since she is all upset anyway don't worry about upsetting her anymore, just move out all your stuff and ignore her.
She has a problem with the drinking and it will not get any better until she realizes it and gets help. It is not your place to put up with it.
Go to the club for families of alcoholics so you can get yourself back on the right track and realize there is nothing you can do about her problem.
You don't want your baby growing up in that kind of home life.
Lets hope your mom will realize someday that she can be part of your life, even though you are on your own. Keep in contact with her.
2007-12-27 15:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey if you can handle the financial part of moving out I say go for it! You need to protect your child from all the disfunctional crap going on inside your parents home. You can get legal aid and all kinds of financial aid to help you make it on your own. Your parents will come around to seeing your independence eventually. My daughter just moved out with her 2 year old into her own place and I am loving the fact that when she comes over with the baby its a visit and we have some peace and quiet when they go.
Janie Girl
2007-12-27 15:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by Janie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally been there! We actually just moved our son to his own room 2 weeks ago when he turned 8 months. We were paranoid about doing this because sometimes he would choke on his saliva while sleeping or pull the blanket over his face! But what pushed me to do it was that he was sleeping in our room in the bassinet part of his Pack N Play and he was way over the suggested weight limit to sleep in it and also during the night, he would moved and kick all around trying to find a comfortable position. I decided that the bassinet was no longer working and the baby was not getting a good nights rest. We moved him to his own room in his crib and he sleeps so peacefully!! If I wake in the middle of the night for whatever reason, I always go and take a peek at him. Your baby will be fine, Good luck!!
2016-04-11 04:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are saying you want to move out of your Parents Home, because you now, have found someone who is willing to help you with everything, and now your Mother is not speaking to you because of your decision. I think that what you should do is move out of their House{Parents} the sooner the better, they were there for you when you needed them, so, now you do not need them and they have become a bother for you, I am not so sure that your Parents are as bad as you perceive them to be, but if you want to be the Victim here, it is up to you, and God. That is all I am going to write.
2007-12-27 15:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't realized this yet, you will very soon. Your family now, is your baby. Yes, you love your parents, but your priority is your child and the best thing you can do is get you and your child out of there. Don't make it a lot of drama, just do it as a matter of fact like. Leave, get your place and get settled in, and come back and visit when your ready.
2007-12-27 15:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You overcome it by remembering what kind of effect this is going to have on your child. If this is effecting you, it will effect your baby. Babies can feel stress and unhappiness from their surroundings. Please leave, and you can come back and bring the baby for a visit. Anything you say to them is not going to matter because they are too wrapped up in their own unhappiness. It is evident that even with you and the baby there, things are not improving concerning them.
2007-12-27 15:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your family is causing you stress then you need to leave. If you are stressed then your baby is stressed. You need to get out on your own and be a mother to your baby on your own. Your mom will eventually realize that you are grown up and need to take care of yourself. There are many single parents out there that make it on there own. I suggest searching the internet on tips for making it as a single parent.
2007-12-27 15:19:45 · answer #11 · answered by mommyaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋