Why do some Christians insist that YHWH intended marriage to be between one man and one woman, when...?

Question

...the bible says that sometimes it's between one man and two women, or one man and fourteen women, or eighteen women, or seven hundred women...

How is it that some Christians use the slippery-slope argument of, Well, if we allowed gay marriage, they we'd have to allow polygamy too...

As if the bible said that polygamy was a bad thing...frankly, I'm surprised that, in this "Christian" nation (as some Christians like to call it), polygamy isn't more popular...

red-head: Actually I'm holding off on the quotes; I wanted to see how many people actually don't know what the bible says about polygamy...check back later...

blondie: I'm sorry; where did I say or imply that the bible says that sex between two men or two women is right? Clearly it does not.

me: I agree, and that's exactly my point: why do fundamentalists rail about some bible rules/laws but don't seem to mind that polygamy isn't in style anymore...

human_hybrid: Thank you for point out an example of either (a) a biblical contradiction or (b) God's funny double-standards.

Ryguy: So I guess having multiple wives was only for the rich/noble/special people of God, huh? Funny...

And I'm not disagreeing with your last statement. Please read the question again if you're still confused.

bibliophile: Thanks for pointing out that second bible contradiction.

chdoctor: First, I could have said "all", but somebody would be bound to complain about that too...

Second, are you implying that you think I disaprove of polygamy? Where did I say that I did?

For the sake of simplicity, here are a bunch of nice quotes all rolled together on one page:

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/polygamy.html

And try as I will, in most cases I can't find where it says that God was upset about all these extra wives/concubines. In fact, in most cases the number of wives seems merely to be mentioned in passing...

jiahua: Well, sure, WE know that...I'm just trying to soften up these folks for later conversion...RAmen...

Answer 1

The really difficult question is why a normal biological process of pairing off and mating, to preserve the continuation of our life form, requires any kind of external sanction. Churches claim that a marriage is not valid until they say so. And the State says that "legal" marriage has to meet its requirements.

Why is any of that needed? Why can't two people simply be bonded together just because they declare themselves to be so?

Answer 2

there are many things in the bible that were once accepted that are no longer. I am a Christian, but I could care less about gay marriage. Because I don't believe marriage is a religious issue.
God put 2 people together, thats it. There was no minister, no adultery in the beginning (there was only 2 people), no do you take this man/woman. The act of MARRIAGE was not the norm until it was enacted as a bartering system. The father would "trade" his daughter for anything of value. Typically land, animals etc..It was ordained by a minister to get Gods Blessing. That is the only religious part of the marriage ceremony. If somebody wants to get married that doesn't have a religion, go to a judge. Takes the religious aspect out of the situation.
The treatment of women in the bible is horrid. That is no longer acceptable. As is polygamy etc..

Answer 3

I believe I understand your point. According to 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, and 1 Chronicles, King David, and especially King Solomon, had much more than their share of wives, let alone concubines! And, of course there were others who divulged as well that represented their Lord and Creator, the God of Israel, before all other nations.

There are 4 points I'd like to make in order to attempt to answer sufficiently your excellent Q:

1) Remember that God allowed also divorce (Matthew 19:3-9) in the Old Testament, according to Jesus. But, the reason this was allowed is because of the hardness of one's heart, not because it was His will. It is the same issue for allowing the nation of Israel to have a king (1 Samuel 8:4-22). Although there is no clear OT Biblical stipulation against polygamy, other than taking another man's wife, or a woman that is pledged toward another, under an inferred and hypothetical case that a man already is married (Deuteronomy 22:13-30; 24:1-5), the strong inference from the issues around divorce and desiring a king are quite convincing why God apparently "allowed" these things, including polygamy (Exodus 21:10). And, it is because of the Israelites desiring a king that one of the negative ramifications of this was the prevailing practice of polygamy at the time. This, in fact, is even how it got to be prevalent in the ecomony of Israel, according to Deuteronomy 17:17!

2) Any argument from silence (such as Jesus never mentioning specifically in the gospel accounts that we have about homosexual acts) is to be under suspect anyway, by any theologian, let alone logicians (i.e., not everything that the prophets said or did is recorded in the OT, nor what Jesus said or did in the NT, is found in the gospel accounts according to John 21:25. And, the Pauline letters' explicit proscriptions found in Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; and 1 Timothy 1:10 make this evident.

3) There are three sections of the OT Bible; the Law, the Prophets and the Historical books. Notice that the cases and accounts of polygamy and having a king in Israel were taken from the historical books, not the Law of the OT, nor the Prophets. It is logically understood among all Biblical theologians that the historical books are not to be taught as maxims of morality (what ought to have been and ought to be), but rather just as history (what was). So, in other words, just because polygamy occurred, does not mean it ought to have occurred (the incestual act in 2 Samuel 13 against Tamar occurred too, but does that make it sanctioned by God?). In addition, what was the reason that is recorded in the Bible why after Solomon's reign that the nation of Israel became divided between his sons Jeroboam and Rehoboam, and that Jeroboam took for himself other gods amidst the cultic worship of the God of Israel? Yes, specifically because Solomon married many wives that worshipped other gods (1 Kings 11 and 12), and this influenced Solomon to compromise His faith in the One True God of all, the God of Israel, and Jeroboam to follow in their footsteps. If King Solomon would've only had one wife, from among the people of Israel, this never could've occurred!

4) However, the most convincing argument against polygamy is from the creation mandate (that which is ordained by God for all humanity) in Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Notice that what is inferred here is that only two can become one flesh). And, Jesus, then in the NT, Matthew 19:3-9, made it explicitly clear just what this meant. This clearly involved just two, from the opposite sexes. Although it doesn't say in the passage in Matthew what all the particular types of violations involve, it is clear that anything else would (whether polygamy, incest, pedophilia, homosexuality, etc.) be considered against God's law. The Greek word used here is "porneia", which is a general term used in the Koine Greek for sexual immorality of any sort. The old general term for sexual immorality in English is "fornication".

I do hope that this helps.

Answer 4

There is a lot of ignorance on this topic. "Jacob had one wife". The Bible I read said that he had to marry Leah first. Both Leah and Rachel gave him their maids when they could have no children. Judah was a son of Leah. Jesus was one of her descendents.

Jewish Law clearly made allowance for polygamy. If a man died without heir, his brother would take the widow, even if he was already married. The real reason the practice ended was when Gentiles converted, they followed the Roman family system of monogamy.

Answer 5

        I'd say that God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman from the very beginning.

Gen. 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.

        It has only been man's idea of the more the merrier. Even New Testament proof:

Mat. 19:4 Jesus answered, "Haven't you read the scripture that says that in the beginning the Creator made people male and female?
Mat. 19:5 And God said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.'

1Cor. 6:16 Or perhaps you don't know that the man who joins his body to a prostitute becomes physically one with her? The scripture says quite plainly, "The two will become one body."

Eph. 5:31 As the scripture says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one."
Eph. 5:32 There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church.
Eph. 5:33 But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.

1Tim. 3:1 This is a true saying: If a man is eager to be a church leader [bishop, pastor], he desires an excellent work.
1Tim. 3:2 A church leader [bishop, pastor] must be without fault; he must have only one wife, be sober...

1Tim. 3:12 A church helper [deacon] must have only one wife, and be able to manage his children and family well.

Titus 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

God bless.

Answer 6

In the United States, monogamous marriage between a man and woman is traditional. Around the world and going back further in time, you are probably right. Our conception of marriage is really a relatively recent thing. In case, basing your position on tradition often lacks principle. In these matters, I am guided by a philosophy of liberty. By those principles, I have to agree with you that marriage between consenting adults should be their personal affair. Unfortunately, there are many ways in which we violate principles of individual liberty. On point of substance in the gay marriage issue is to obtain benefits for people in gay relationships. Like many political issues, we are wrangling over who receives benefits and who pays. If this weren't so, gays could form whatever unions they wanted without seeking permission from the rest of society.

Answer 7

Marriage;
Wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman
for life. The first marriage occurred in Paradise [ Genesis2:18-25] Marriage was confirmed by Christ.
[ Matthew 19:5-6]

Answer 8

There are some small sects that practice polygamy, such as the FLDS and some other groups.

Polygamy was permitted in the Old Testament and God even gave David multiple wives. However, I believe polygamy is only supposed to be allowed when God permits it and he only does so in certain circumstances.

Why God only permits it in certain situations is not clear to me, but one day we will know why everything happened...until then, any guess is as good as the other.

Answer 9

God never approved of polygamy. Take the example of Jacob. How many wives did he have? He had one, Rahcael. God latter changed his name to Israel. Is it a wonder that a man that was espoused to one wife would bear the name of the nation that God chose to call His own?

Answer 10

Ok, where in the Bible does it say that sex between two men or two women is natural or right? I have never read that 'verse' you quoted before.

Edit: Yes you did, you said, and I quote, "marriage to be between one man and one woman". Anything else is not natural and wrong. You implied about gay marriage in your wording of your question. See your second paragraph--"if we allow gay marriage, then we'd have to allow polygamy too".