I know you are suppose to love someone unconditionally for who they are. I do believe I love him. Yet I feel there are things that he needs to change in order for us to move intogether or move on to the next phase of our relationship. We have been together for four years now and I'm ready to settle down. I basically want him to be more responsible with his money and be more cleaner. I ask these things because I feel that these things would turn into huge issues when we move intogether which would cause us to break up. I try to talk to him about these issues, yet whenever I do he gets defensive and angry at me, saying that he doesn't plan on changing and that he shouldn't have to change for me, that he wants to be loved for who he is and be who he is. It's not that I do not love him like I said, but I want more then we have now...I just know that I would be unhappy with the way money was handled and all. Is it wrong for me to ask him those things? Does he have a right to be angry withme
2007-12-27 12:45:09 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't read your life summary, only the question, but it is NOT wrong to tell your partner to change to make your relationship better. Instead, it makes it better. Just put yourself in his shoes before doing it. See what he or she feels first and then ask him to change that, if it really bothers you. It also can be you the one doing wrong. Look at both sides, and choose what' s better for BOTH of you.
2007-12-27 12:51:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he works hard for his money he has every right to spend it on whatever but that would change if yous moved intogether,but its a bit shallow to break up over money issues .maybe he doesnt want to move in and he just doesnt want to hurt your feelings so the money is the best excuse he can do .if you have to change someone their never gunna be wat you want
2007-12-27 13:01:15 · answer #2 · answered by Dezz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not expect him to change.
Get on with your life and find someone else.
He's right. If you don't love him as he is, you might as well move on. He won't change and you will end up resenting it in a few years if you stay in the relationship.
It's hard to give up, but that's the best thing to do.
2007-12-27 12:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by The Monk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does not have the right to be angry ---- people do not change unless they want to so he likes the way he is --- in any relationship you must compromise and make changes --- in this case money and cleanliness are important to both of you and he should want to change to make sure the relationship lasts --- if he gets angry about it he needs to examine why he gets angry and really choose between you and his bad habits ---- best wishes
2007-12-27 12:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO IT IS NOT WRONG TO ASK HIM TO CHANGE FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. HE'S RIGHT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO CHANGE FOR ANYONE BUT HE COULD AT LEAST TAKE YOUR FEELINGS TO CONSIDERATION BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR FOUR YEARS. IF YOU FEEL THAT IF HE CHANGED SOME OF HIS WAYS FOR THE RELATIONSHIP I THINK HE SHOULD LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU.
2007-12-27 12:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by aleshabooboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like if he is not willing to change ,maybe you should find someone more like yourself !
2007-12-27 12:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋