I have been in a relationship for 2 years and everytime we have an argument, I always have to be the bigger person and say sorry. He's 24 years old and I am 20 years old and he has never been in a relationship.H e has never been man enough to say sorry even when he is wrong. Is it okay to sometimes be the better person and apologize when I am not even wrong?
2007-12-27 12:40:25 · 13 answers · asked by aleshabooboo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not a question of right or wrong. We've all done it. In my last relationship, I apologized/took the blame to avoid conflict quite often. At the time, it seemed like the path of least Resistance. I probably thought that I could afford to apologize (even when I didn't really mean it) because it didn't mean as much to me. I didn't feel like I was sacrificing my pride or anything like that. I just wanted to stop arguing. I learned that often that would come back to bite me. Long story short, I wouldn't get in the habit of apologizing unless you really mean it. I'm not saying never do it - sometimes it just isn't that big of a deal. But if it IS something you feel strongly about, don't cave in. You'll feel bad about yourself (like a wimp) and if you go back on your apology later . . . well then it shows your partner you really weren't sorry in the 1st place.
2007-12-27 12:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by Kevy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm.... to a point, maybe.... I'd say that if it's a simple misunderstanding, there is something to be said to be the bigger person and to give up the fight... Even if you don't feel like you are wrong with what you said...
On the other hand, if it is something major or important... He should be able to admit that he was wrong... because by this theory, you'd apologize if he cheated on you... Which of course is not something that you should apologize for...
I'd say that in honesty... he needs to learn how to take the blame for what he has done wrong, or the relationship will never last in the long run... Relationships are all about compromise and understand, and it just doesn't work when one person will not budge and the other is always making the shots in everything.... It ends up that one person is the master and the other is the slave (and I've seen it happen).... Try to talk to him about this... but he may just not be mature enough for a relationship considering this is his first at 24, his mentality on them may still be that of a high school one... and by the sound that your giving... you a little bit more mature and deserve better than that one...
2007-12-27 12:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. because in the eyes of your boyfriend you are sending the message that you are wrong. But this doesn't solve the argument!...After the argument you haven't come to a consensus on anything. Your boyfriend is feeling beter and you feel miserable. Why allow yourself to settle? Being the better person doesn't equate to lying about fault. The same way you feel compelled to "make the situation beter" your boyfriend should have that similar desire. Each argument should spark change and growth.... not encourage the same rutt.
Stand your ground!! You don't have to scream and shout but let your boyfriend know he has to compromise. If you both acknowledge what you both did wrong that is much healthier than you always being the bad person. There is only so much a person can take and sooner or later you're going to explode! Lying is never a good alternative in a healthy relationship. If your boyfriend truly cares about the relationship he will slowly try to make progress and admit his own fault. If you always accept fault in every situation what reason does your boyfriend have to not cheat or lie?? After all you'll just apologize to him...... that's person you are presenting to me and your boyfriend. Be truthful and stand up for yourself. You can only keep this facade up for so long!
2007-12-27 12:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't "have" to be the bigger person and say you are sorry...in fact, if you are apologizing when you weren't wrong then that doesn't make you a bigger person, just someone wanting to placate their partner.
If your guy isn't man enough to admit when he's wrong, then he's got a problem. YOU shouldn't have to apologize when you weren't wrong, just to get things back on track. If he doesn't want to apologize that's fine, but if you weren't in the wrong you shouldn't apologize either...just go about your business.
I don't believe I'd last long with someone who refused to apologize for poor behavior, or admit they were wrong.
2007-12-27 12:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not wrong, then don't apologize. He needs to understand that when he's wrong he needs to step up and say, 'look I was wrong... I'm sorry.' YOU on the otherhand only need to be accountable for what you've done wrong. Not his faults, don't feel obligated to take the fall for him. In a sense, that is a way of him controlling you. He can get you to apologize even though you're not wrong. No, it's not okay and not acceptable.
2007-12-27 12:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you do that? Do you want to go through life being
wrong? You will always be in the wrong if you get in the habit
of apologizing when you aren't.
2007-12-27 12:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to date other guys. Do not say, I am sorry all the time unless you mean it. It destroys your self esteem. That takes a long time to rebuild.
2007-12-27 12:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by answerlady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No he should say sorry when he is wrong , otherwise he is not learning from his mistakes and thinks he can get away with anything
2007-12-27 12:43:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ MISS YELLOW DIAMOND★☺♀ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes sometimes it is.
but sometemes the person has to be mature and learn the lesson.
but depending on the situation it is okay to be the bigger person.
2007-12-27 12:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deffinatly.
i mean
some guys dont have theballs to say sorry
and its great u can be the bigger person
and say sorry
keep it up :D
2007-12-27 12:43:55 · answer #10 · answered by meg 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋