I have a problem...I can't let the things people say to me go. If someone cusses at me in traffic, I think about it for days! If someone is rude to me at work, I think about all day, and try to replay the scenario in my head and think about all the things I SHOULD have said. It's stupid things that don't even matter like this that keep my fuming for days! I can't let it go and just be like, "ok, that guy was an idiot." I just keep thinking about it and get more and more upset, long after the idiot is gone! Does anyone else have this problem? How do you let it go?
2007-12-27 11:41:22 · 11 answers · asked by Jancy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I have the same problem!!!! I hate it so much. it's like an obsession. I always have something in my head for days that I constantly replay. I don't know what to do about it either. I think I'm going to talk to my doctor about it. Maybe you should too.
2007-12-27 11:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by stinab 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. This happens to me constantly and I wish I could make it stop. I worry that people don't think I handled situations correctly and when I replay things like arguments which are rare or a certain way someone talked to me I always think i should have handled it differently. I am just not quick on my feet but I do have other good qualities and I am sure that you do as well. Focus, really take a hard look at and concentrate on your good qualities just as much as you concentrate on these other little things. We all struggle with things and this happens to be your struggle. Hang in there. I don't know if you can let it go, just try to refocus your thoughts on the good in you. Think about this, the less energy you give to ignorant people the better. You need to be you and let them behave as themselves, which is stupid. If you react in a way that you think you should have while repalying it in your mind, then your both would be heated and that could lead to a worse turnout. Don't spend time thinking about how you should have handled this or that. That jerk has anger management problems and you don't so......YOu are the bigger person.
2007-12-27 11:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by Camille B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is an imbalance in your personality. This can be good, but it can also be bad. The logical part of you knows beyond a doubt that you'll never see the jerk in traffic again. The emotional part of you gets angry (with some justification) but remains in control of your behavior. Your emotions, not your mind, are ruling your life.
I don't know how you got this way. In some ways, it's great- when you feel good, you feel really good. But you need more balance in your life- You need practice in letting your mind take charge more.
No one here can help you get there, so maybe you need to see a counselor. Talk out your frustrations, goals, and see if you can tilt your life to a more logical side. Oh, you don't have to become a cold-blooded, heartless machine, but if your emotions are interferring with your life, you gotta find a way to diminish your emotions's effect on your overall happiness.
Good luck and have a great New Year!!
2007-12-27 11:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by going_for_baroque 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a person that tends to internalize your anger. It is a common symptom of someone that bottles up their anger or pain. If you expressed yourself at the moment of your anger or frustration you'd be fine. However, it is normal to hold on to or dwell over emotional confrontations for a short period of time. But if your's lasts a while then I would recommend seeing a therapist. It is well worth your time. It helped me.
But it also could mean that you're a person that has a lot of dignity and self control. And you are right the other person could be an idiot!!
2007-12-27 11:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Philip L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same problem especially if someone close to me hurts my feelings or someone just pisses me off. I always stay mad way after the incident is over and constatantly think about what I should have did to cuss them out or make them feel stupid like they made me feel. I dont know why, but I think its just a problem of pride maybe. I just know that I hate when ppl do stupid things to me that piss me off. I think a lot of ppl these days do stupid things to make others day misserable. So I would say Live your life and try not to let these stupid ppl get to you, but I have the same problem of not forgetting about it
2007-12-27 12:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may be a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Or you may have anger issues that need resolving.
Start with doing some kind of exercise that gives your arms and shoulders a workout, like tai bo or chopping wood. (This releases anger stored in the muscles. Arm and shoulder muscles are where we store anger.) If that doesn't help, mention this to your doctor.
Best of luck.
2007-12-27 11:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by Mother Amethyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When asked for advice when dealing with others most people say: "ignore him/her", "let it go", "move on", "be a better person", "stop talking to him/her", and so on. But, the fact is, it's NOT easy to ignore people and to let it go. It's never easy.
2007-12-27 14:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by carlosdavid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea I'd try to occupy myself more, you seem to have not enough things to do. If you really want to get rid of this problem I'd make myslef as busy as possible.
2007-12-27 11:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
try getting a hobby I find myself falling into the same trap when I have too much time to think about nothing
2007-12-27 11:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thts true you just have to try to get ur mind off of things relax,do something else tell someone about it that helps
2007-12-27 11:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by <UnionRed3><XFACTORUK> 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋