I met this girl and she was involved in a relationship that sped up relatively fast between her and this guy and out of nowhere the other guy disappears. She doesn't know what happened, there was no sign that this was going to happen they were on great terms the last thing he said to her was he'd never leave. They always had hard times communicating due to telephone issues and distance in general but he made every attempt to continue to contact her despite it.
Then I came along and shes like almost 2 months removed from it. But now I remind her of that person in so many ways like she didn't break this to me until like a week into talking and she felt she had too because I used similar phrases, I act similar in many ways or whatever..
But now im wondering is this healthy? Can this go forward? Should I just stop it? Im not sure what to do because we are compatible but its like in the same ways they were.. but she brings it up and I don't know how to deal at all..
2007-12-27 11:31:50 · 18 answers · asked by QuestionsAnswered 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'de run in the other direction.
2007-12-27 11:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Sippy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with it to a degree. It's natural to go for certain types of people. That she see's things similar in you would be part of the reason she wants to be with you.
On the other hand, if it makes you uncomfortable, mention this to her. She may think it makes you feel happy i guess, that she is tell you you are perfect by saying you are similar to him.
Alternatively, she may still miss him and be worrying that you will do the same. If she is starting to really like you, the fact that so much is coming out the same may show a worry in her that you may just suddenly up and leave.
2007-12-27 19:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Xzar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously the "old" guy was not Perfect in every way or he would not have disappeared on her. What the means is that the "old" guy did not like or respect her nearly as much as she did him. You should tell her to stop the comparisons & saying you guys are the same.. becuase you're not. Sorry to say it sounds like she still has the hots for this other guy but sounds like he was not all that interested & took off on her.
What type of "perfect person" would treat someone like that?
2007-12-27 19:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by ready2go67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im trying to figure out what is 'wrong' with being perfect or having similar traits as someone she considers perfect. lots of people like a person for the good traits of someone in their past. not sure if she should continue saying it though...so, tell her you think its great but continuing to compare isnt healthy so lets move from the past and make new memories.
2007-12-27 19:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by *) ayla 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Sit down with her and tell her if there is a problem. Let her know that she cannot live her life thinking that you are just like the other boyfriend, let her know how you fefel meybe she'll get the point and look at your qualities instead of thinking of the past relationship.
2007-12-27 19:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by *-* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has NOT left that relationship behind. Shes not a widow you know , she was only a long distance chatter friend and they didn't do too well there either. Soooo... do you need and want this in your life?Sounds to me that she wasn't really aware of what that relationship was really about and made it out to be more than it was. reality may be a problem.
2007-12-27 19:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by for the times 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is a good relationship for you or her in the long run because she'll always be wanting him, seeing as she never got a chance to say goodbye. Also if he comes back into her life, then there's no guarantee she'll stay with you.
2007-12-27 19:36:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, if she says u remind her of her ex, thats not good. it means she still thinks about him and the past they had together. yeah thats hard to get over a perfect guy who just disappears but she needs to move on and to not think about her ex. what i think you should do is break up with her. im sorry if u dont think its the right way but trust me, im in the same sitch myself. im with a new guy who is absolutely great but we dont have chemistry like my ex and i did...whom i still like very much. so im breaking up with him and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders already....so i hope everything works out and if you need more advice, email me :)
2007-12-27 19:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by Halley T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult. I know this sounds like bad advice, but the truth is that no one knows the answer better than you do.
Ask for the answer, and you will have it. All you have to do is find it. Try meditating. Sometimes that helps it bubble up to the surface.
2007-12-27 19:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by Rebbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might just go out behind your back and find that ex.so just try to keep her in the house as much as possible.and if you cant do that then whenever you go somewhere keep on your ps and qs or just stay very close.now if this doesnt work well dont blame me because im only ten years old.who am i to be giving marriage advice
2007-12-27 19:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she is ready for a new relationship, find out if she is with you for you or if it is because you are so much like the other person.. kinda strange he just dissapeared??
2007-12-27 19:37:46 · answer #11 · answered by gina67000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋