I just got engaged on Christmas. The people that I babysit for are cousins to my fiance. Well, when his cousin heard that I was planning on having my wedding in July, she told me that she nor her husband could take off work and watch the kids for the week I would go on my honeymoon. She told me I needed to be more considerate and plan for a different time. So, we moved the wedding to June 7th. Which is the best time with my side of the family and his immediate family, my cake decorator, my dress maker, and all the other people involved. I told her tonight and she told me she won't be there because her and her mom and a sister take off on their vacation. They plan it for this time every year. She told me that they could not be there and I should plan for a different time, because they want to be there and have been in the family longer than me. Should I keep my date or she being unreasonable? The ones going on vacation are only cousins and an aunt.
2007-12-27 11:31:09 · 34 answers · asked by Laughing with you not at you 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have only been engaged for a few days and she is the only one who is giving me a hard time.
2007-12-27 11:31:52 · update #1
Hi and congratulations on your Christmas engagement!
Oh the joys of family!!
Wow! Excuse me....but she more or less told you that you HAVE to babysit for the time that you wanted to take for your honeymoon because they could not get that week off? So then you change it....but that doesn't suit her either?
TOO BAD (for her!) YOU set you date and don't let anyone give you crap about it. If they can't come, too bad. How rude! I would start looking for another job tomorrow!
Good luck and I hope you have a beautiful wedding day (on the day YOU want!)
2007-12-27 11:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
This is just CRAZY. Your Fi's cousin is the one being so rude and unreasonable. You should have not move your date for them, that's was really not necessary on your part. I understand we should keep family in mind when trying to plan our weddings. But, within reason. For example, if your Fi's mother is a college professor, don't schedule the wedding during finals week in May or if your dad is a tax person, don't have a wedding on April 14/15th. But, I wouldn't bent over backwards for my cousin's work/babysitting schedule.
Second, your cousin's babysitting issue are not your problem. They are parents and should always have a backup babysitting plan. Have they thought about enrolling the kids in summer camp or hiring someone else for the week? When you have kids, this is your job. No one else should worry about what to do with their kids. Denying your sitter the right to a week off is pretty cruel.
As for this mess, simple say to your cousin. "I'm very sorry you can't attend. But, this is the only time we can schedule. I also find it rude that you assume your life is more important then mine. You are being unreasonable, all I want to do is get married and you are treating me like a contracted slave/worker. I don't work around your schedule, I have my own life."
2007-12-27 17:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by J'adore 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU and your fiance, both sets of parents and the siblings are the only ones you check with to see if there are date conflicts. If your brother has a major test in med school on the date you want, then you shouldn't have the wedding on that date. If your dad will be out of the country on business, you shouldn't have the wedding.
When you find a date that is workable for the immediate family, the minister and the venues, then you set the date. If you try to work around cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, boss, the neighbors, your high school principal, the local parade committee, the annual police fundraiser, the charity walk-a-thon, etc..........then you'll never find a day. And you're welcome to tell your fiance's cousin that I said so. :-) This is none of her business. What a pompous jerk!
P.S. There are other jobs around. You aren't her slave, even though she seems to think so.
2007-12-27 13:25:27 · answer #3 · answered by Woods 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it is your wedding, not theirs. ask your fiancee how he feels about the situation. It is very unfair of his aunt to do this to you!@!!! This is your time to shine, not theirs. When I got married a couple months ago, we chose the date that we wanted (provided the date would be good for both our parents because they were the most important people to be there). There were a few very close people to me who were not able to make it on that date because of previously booked vacations, and i wish they could have been there, but if you try and work your wedding date so that it accomidates every guest, you will never find a date that will be best for every single person. Your wedding day is your special day, its about you and your husband....dont let anyone take that away from you.
If it is really so important to them that they be there, then i am sure they will work their vacation in so that they can do both. Your wedding will be only one day, once in your life, their vacation is every year.
2007-12-27 23:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by AS100707 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck no she is the unreasonable one! If you really want it in July then have it in July. She can send her kids to day camp or make other arrangements for one week! She has no right to try to dictate when you may have your wedding. You and your fiance set the date, not her. As for the June 7th date, she has plenty of time to change her vacation plans. Have your wedding on the date you want and don't worry about her. It's her choice to make it or not, and she will be the one that looks petty if she tries to complain to the rest of his family about your "selfish" attitude and being "unreasonable". Congrats.
2007-12-27 17:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by Wishing on a Dream 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Well, that sucks Jenny. Send me a postcard, you know you'll be missed!"
Stand your ground NOW or else she'll walk all over you. Stop babysitting for her, because she feels your beneath her. You're going to become an equal member of the family....eventually she'll just stop paying you and *expect* you to watch your *relatives*.
You've moved the date once already. That was more than what I would have done. This is YOUR day, and you get to make the decisions (within reason...it's always a good idea to keep the fiance in mind LOL).
She will either have to move HER date, or not attend. Put the ball in her court. You've done enough.
Good luck and congrats :)
2007-12-27 18:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and you can be accomodating....to a point. You don't have to arrange it around her convenience. Stick with June 7th and don't change your mind. It has nothing to do with how long she's been in the family, it's what works best for you, your groom, and all the other people involved that you mentioned.....if this woman truely wants to be there she will make the nessesary arrangements...this is YOUR and your Fiance's Special Day......it's not about her, it's about you two Period. Congrats Honey...you'll look lovely as a June Bride....
2007-12-27 15:05:13 · answer #7 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would keep my date. She shouldn't even have a say in your wedding. That is your day. She is just being difficult and really hard to deal with. She might be jealous of you. Tell her that you are sorry, but you have to keep your date. Why can't she change the date of her vacation? This is a wedding, a once in a lifetime experience. A vacation can always be planned and taken at anytime.
2007-12-27 11:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by mamasita 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
She is not an immediate family member, her prescence is not even necessary. I would find a new place to work and tell her sorry, but you chose a wedding date in which most people could attend and tell her to have a great time on her trip. She sounds like someone I wouldn't want at my wedding!
2007-12-28 08:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by sweetface26 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, if it really mattered her and her husband can get off work, or they would do the vacation a different time. And if they cant find a babysitter oh well, thats what happens when you have kids, you have to work around them being sick, sick babysitters and all the other mishaps. This is your wedding not hers don't let her control it, and screw the day youll have to babysit for them (around the wedding), babysitters get vacations too.
Congrats and good luck.
2007-12-27 15:33:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋