What is such a turn off about living at home?

Question

I am a single, straight, 28 year old male that lives at home with his parents and other adult siblings. I am very successful in my career and I am highly educated as well, so it's not like I am a lazy person as some may want to believe when they hear I choose to live at home. My parents actively encourage their kids to live at home as long as they would like and rent free of course. What I don't understand is the jealousy people have of my living arrangements. If they are so jealous, most of them, I am sure, could make arrangments to move back home. I am the brunt of many nasty comments/jokes like this due to many forms of jealousy. It is worth noting that these arrangements did not come easy. I had to cultivate this great relationship with my family over a number of years. So it's not like anything was doled out to me. Plus, this is the least our parents can do considering all the years of joy we have given them in the past. They get a kick out of that when I tell them that.

But I digress. Another thing I don't understand is why girls my age claim that this is such a turn off. Why can't a relationship flourish if I live at home? Oh, I get it, they want to have premarital sex etc. Forget it, I don't believe in that at all. But that doesn't mean that they can't come over or that we can't go out. People are really silly when you think about it. And it's not like I am a "mama's boy" either. I simply respect the other people that I live with. I try not to be home too late and when I am I call etc. One more thing that I get abused over is the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or even had my first kiss. I have been so busy with school and work that this simply was not a possibility. When I am done with my masters next year, I will give it a shot again. I have only gone on 2 dates in my entire life and that was when I was 23. I think most people from my type of background as mentioned above have little to no experience with relationships either.

And seriously, who doesn't want home cooked meals and their laundry done for them? It's just as good as getting married, and you don't have to put up with a wife! LOL!!!!!!!!!! You even get these "experts" on tv, you know the pop psychologists saying living arrangements like mine are unhealthy. But they are usually talking about the kids that never completed college and/or do not have a job. Even these psychologists seem jealous of people with great home lives; maybe they need therapy too! LOL!

Answer 1

Stop posting questions like this. I saw this a lot and its so similar too.

People are not jealous of you. People feel pity because you can't live on your own.
Poor parents do everything for you.
Move into a place on your own, then people will repect you.

Answer 2

You are laying all of this on jealousy, which is not the case for the most part. It shows that you are not responsible or independent enough to get out on your own and need and/or want your parents with you on a regular basis. Yes, this is the reason you are not experienced with relationships, and it could harm you in the long run. It is not giving you the responsibility that you should have by this age. If you had to deal with the things that we all do, then you would be so overwhelmed and lost and have no idea of what to do about them to resolve the problems. It also shows a lack of maturity on your part. It has nothing to do with jealousy. I have always said stay at home as long as you are able to, but at this age, you should be independent and able to care for your own self as well as deal with anything that may come your way. You will be behind social wise and have less experience bc of this. This is why it is said to be so unhealthy. You have shown us that you are not able to see the entire picture of things as it stands bc you do think that it all boils down to others being jealous when you could not be further from the truth. But cheers to you for staying abstinent until marriage!!! That is something to respect.

So was it two dates or three as stated in your other question? Grow up child!.....That is the reason it is not good to live with parents for so long!

Answer 3

Are you going to depend on your parents your whole life? Are you going to live with them after you get married? This is what the women are thinking. You are not independent yet. You still depend on your parents to do things for you. How can you support a family if you cannot support yourself alone? It is not jealousy with your living arrangements. It is probably more like pity. A 28 year old man should be able to live independently by now.

Answer 4

Because you need to grow up. You are a "loser", despite a good job and education. Learn how to cook and clean for yourself. Any woman you dates know you have none of these skills because mommy is doing them for you, and thus you are looking for a wife from 1950, not 2007, to take over her role. You have no concept of money or bills or any form of responsibility.

No, we all don't want it for the sexual aspect- there is zero privacy. You cannot talk and get to know someone when mom is in the next room. Am I jealous? Not a bit! If I want to leave for a weekend, I don't have to check with mommy. If things run late somewhere, she's not out looking for me because it's getting late. It's called being an adult. But apparently you (and your parents) are not ready for that.

Answer 5

One of the main reasons why most girls don't like a guy who still lives at home is because they see it just like you said "mama's boy" and they can't come over and have sex.

However, sometimes it's cool. I personally just don't like meeting the parents, and even more so hate LIVING with the parents (I live at home still)

I guess it's more of an independence...and on a deeper level a girl wants to see that you can still be as sucessful as you currently are with more responsibilities and without the hep of mommy and daddy.

Answer 6

I think your right. People assume that you are jobless and just mooching off your parents. It should be fine to live at home as long as you are pulling your own weight. Personally I still see it as a turn off though. I mean don't you want to have a little privacy. I love going home and just flopping on the couch and relaxing alone, well I did before I got married and had a baby. I wish you luck.

Answer 7

Dude, Girls dont want to go to your parents place. If she wants to come over and watch a movie, she doesnt want to see your parents. Im 26 i could live with my folks, but dont for that reason. Also i dont want to wake up and see my parents. Admit it your a mommas boy. And every girl you mention it too will instantly know that too. It shows you are too dependant on mom and dad at age 28. Your just a big baby. Women want a man. Youre right nobody living with their parents are successful with women. Getting your masters at 28 =? My freind did that and has had more women than i can count. You are a baby. Grow Up or be a 40 yr old virgin with a masters.

Answer 8

Well, in your case, it's the reasons you're giving. In Sicilian culture (my stepfather is Sicilian,) it's common for kids to live at home, even after they're married and have kids of their own. Here's where the huge difference is: Nobody I know would honestly say it's the least their parents could do, though--that makes you sound very selfish. It's not the fact you live at home, rather the way you describe it, that's the turn off.

Answer 9

So long as you're a full time student I don't see any problem with living with your parents. Don't you want some independence and freedom though? Don't you want your own house to decorate and walk around naked. I would feel really uncomfortable dating a guy that lived with mommy and daddy. I like privacy and I'd hate to go to my bf's house and always know that his parents are somewhere around. No thanks, I'll pass.

PS - I really doubt people are jealous of you. I couldn't wait until I was 18 and moved out of my parents house. I couldn't get out quick enough! I'd die if I had to live with my parents again. I think most people probably feel like I do and they are NOT jealous of you.

Answer 10

its a turn off because its a sign of laziness! If you are so successful in your job get your own place, cook your own meals, do your own laundry, and clean once in awhile. Trust me no one is jealous of you. My parents would have loved to have me live there forever, however i grew up!

"who doesn't want home cooked meals and their laundry done for them? It's just as good as getting married, and you don't have to put up with a wife! LOL"~ im glad you feel that way because you wont get a "wife" while living at home!

Answer 11

Women like independent, self-reliant men. We want to know you can take care of yourself. When you live at home at your age, women consider you a "mama's boy." Emphasis on the word "boy". There's a reason the term is not "mama's man".