Religion as child abuse?

Question

Quiet often there will be instances where religion will appear to border on child abuse.
For one thing, I dont think children should be forced and coerced into a religion, denying them their constitutional freedoms of thought, speech and religion. They may not be able to assert them when young but when they are older they are unable to think beyond what has been drilled into them with horrendous stories of hell and how so and so died for their sins and all the punishments awaiting for them.
I think children should be exposed to a variety of faiths and the option of non-belief and then they should be able to decide for themselves rather than just be forced into the religion of their parents.

Secondly, there are parents who will force their children/youth to comply with the rules of their religion i.e. going to church, dressing modestly, denying certain medical options i.e. birth control, sex education and in some instances blood transfusions.

Any thoughts?

Oh and I am very irritated when parents deny their children access to books because they are not in keeping with their religion i.e. Harry Potter etc.
It should be up to the child to decided. Restricting what they can learn about the world just helps in forcing them into a religion they have had no choosing in.

And I really dont like religious schools because they are only a venue for molding children into that religion which their parents have chosen for them

Why would the state take away your children?
I think simply banning religious schools will go a long way and also denying parents the option of basing medical decisions and so forth on their religion. Plus schools could offer religious education that encompasses a variety of beliefs to make sure kids are aware of all the options.

Hassee and Eds: Im not sure where your comments are coming from.
I am not saying that you are to give children freedom in its totality; no one has that.
There s a difference between indoctrination by religion and defining rules and morals to live by.

Ok I dont know if being a 21 year old qualifies me to be called "lady" but whatever.

And I do see this as a real issue.
Children die because of their parents decisions i.e. honor killings, medical options denied etc.
And because their minds have become so limited they thus may have their ability to contributed to the world limited.

youthpastor: how is a child to make an imprtail decision when they reach 18? They have spent the majority of their lives including the crucial socialization period being indoctrinated by their parents and perhaps their school.
There is a only a few nnumber of those who convert; they majority remain in the religion of their parents simply because they can go beyond what has been inserted into them

Robert I just had to laugh at your comment of "pathetic planet" lol

I havent created anything...I have yet to reproduce and I dont plan to anyway.
Why do you assume there is connection with morality and religion because they are two separate things.
Perhaps societal ills are the result of something beyond religion. Perhaps its poverty, lack of social services etc.
The UK is highly atheistic but has far less crime than the US. Canada, where I live is more secular and liberal than the US and oh look...less crime.
And besides, crime has been decreasing, not increasing.
Divorce? It can be statistically proven that atheists are less likely to divorce where as religious people divorce more often.

batgirl; read my comments carefully. I didnt say teach the children that theism is bad...on the contrary I said teach them all the views about theism. Dont just teach tme one religion but the main ones that dominant in society and also that there are some who dont have any religion.

Answer 1

Obviously, you sound like you have not attained parenthood yet. Wait till you have children of your own, before you begin chastising others whom you perceive to border on child abuse when it comes to rearing them.

Of course I do agree with the fact that THERE ARE such parents who do abuse their children physically, mentally, and emotionally, and they are traumatized and scarred for the rest of their productive lives. But those are mostly EXTREME CASES that we do hear about, read about, or even watch in some horrifying movies about. These are not as common as you make it sound to be. I know I didn't grow up in such an abusive environment and I do hope that neither did you.

As any good "normal" parent would do, in most typical situations, is to ALWAYS TRY to find the BEST SOLUTIONS and provide the BEST ENVIRONMENT possible for their child/ren to grow up in, whether it is residing in the "right" neighborhood they can afford; having "good" friends; learning from the "proper" school; or having "strong moral values" growing up [i.e., religious/non-religious, political/non-political backgrounds], etc.

All these are based on guidelines, and boundaries set by the head/s of the household, and these are generally discussed during family meals, or on occasional one-on-one chats as they are called for.

I believe that it is every parent's desire to pass on everything they know to their child/ren, as much as possible, and as quickly as they can, so that their child/ren will be able to handle the realities of the outside world while growing up, and avoiding making the same mistakes that the parents previously made during their lives up to that point.

Teaching a child about all the diverse options depends on the child's level of understanding and maturity that can only be gauged by the astute parent. Sure, you can tell them about all the different religions... but at what age?? And when do you tell and show them about pornography on the Internet? About not stealing cash from your wallet? And so forth, and so on??

Wait till you have children of your own... is all I can say.

Peace be with you.

Answer 2

I agree that religion is child abuse. They teach the kids about death before they are 4 years old, that can give some children nightmares.

My son is 5 and every now and then he asks me if I am going to die, and I know that if I say "yes, eventually", he will start crying, because "who's going to look after me?. I dont want you to die mommy."
He has trouble understanding time, and "a very long time" and by the time I die, he will be all grown up. he doesnt understand those concepts. Yes he goes to a religious school, but that was dad's decision and the teaching there is far better than the public schools.

I just have to do my best to reassure him each time this comes up. He lost his grandmother this past summer, and that didn't help. When a teacher read a book last month that mentioned "passing away" and explained to the kids that it meant being dead, he got upset.

Answer 3

Just like with everything else, you have to teach your children. I always hated the saying, 'because I said so'. As a parent, we have all used it and have succumbed to that mentality. Just because we've used it, doesn't mean that we feel that way all the time. Religion is one of those things that we tend to not 'teach' our children. We usually use the 'because I said so' routine, and it's not always because we mean to, it's more because we are lazy or uneducated about why we believe what we believe. The Bible teaches us to 'train a child in the way they should go'. In order to truly train someone, you will have to teach them and then step back and let them make their own decisions when the time comes. Now, that being said, children are not able to make their own decisions, so parents are left with that responsibility. I believe every parent tries to make the right decisions for their children. For example, it's not abusive to tell your children that they are not allowed to cuss(curse) and that they will be disciplined for it. But you do have to explain to children why this behavior is unacceptable. It is not abusive to teach your children the difference between right and wrong. As a matter of fact, it is abusive and irresponsible to neglect to teach them the difference between right and wrong. If we want our children to have morals, we have to find some way to teach them.

Answer 4

Progressives have always believed in religious freedom and that includes the right to raise your children in accord with your beliefs,be they religious,non-religious or something in-between, as in my case. Wiccans have a right to raise their children as Wiccan. So do Christians. It is ludicrous to suggest my rights were violated by being brought up a catholic; I had plenty of opportunity to explore other paths after entering college,which I did and continue to do. You sound a little crypto-fascist - the idea that Big Brother should decide how children may be educated in regard to personal religiousity is repugnant to me. How do you suggest enforcing it? Special thought-police in every home? Vast federal complexes to house children taken away from their parents lest they be "brainwashed" into Wicca,or Catholicism or Buddhism? You don't even understand the the most basic concepts of freedom and personal dignity. Many people do not approve of how I am raising my children religiously,but I embrace a spirituality that transcends theism and I have every right to pass my view on to my children; they can make up their own minds when they are 14 or 16 or 18. Even now,I don't "force" anything I them,I simply teach them. Just as I taught them to draw. You sound very cruel-minded with no respect for the rights of others; everyone must be trained to believe as you do. Crypto-fascist? The word is not too strong,nor is it inappropriate.

Answer 5

Well, for obvious reasons you can't very well make teaching religion to kids illegal. If a child is being psychologically or physically abused by his parents, there are other kinds of laws already on the books which can handle the problem which do not specifically single out religion.

Answer 6

I suspect talk about the love of Jesus and charity is better than a sword to the neck or a strangulation of a girl in the prime of her youth for not wearing a headscarf. Try thinking outside of the anti-christian box. Sure, Christians can be irritating, but why not focus on a religion that is literally murdering their children, parents, brothers, cousins, etc.

Sidenot: My aunt is a JW and is dying as we speak (her blood count is gravely low) and she will not take a transfusion. I think its disgusting when children are involved, and I too think there is a slippery slope when it comes to things that can harm children indefinitely ie death and the parents could have stopped it (ie transfusions)
However, stunting a parents wish to teach their kids to dress modestly and encouraging abstinence is a bit different, no? And it also opens the door for you or people of like belief to be denied raising their children the way you/they deem fit. Once the door opens where rights are chipped away, it wont be long before all rights are chipped away. History will tell us that, please reconsider.

Answer 7

ok, this may take some time, but i'll keep it as brief as possible. I am a Christian. Your compairing our teaching our children to be good God fearing people, to child abuse is absurd... We dont let them choose thier own foods either. Since when have children been afforded many of the other rights we have as citizens. They cannot vote, get credit, or buy guns. and the last i checked, we encourage our children to question authority,not to be confused with defying authority. afterall, how are they to determine what is truth and what are lies if they do not ask questions.
Judging by these next two paragraphs, i am assuming you dont have any children yourself...As i dont know many parents(believing or not) who would be in agreeance with your "try it all" views. All of your complaints, with the exception of the denying medical treatment part, are rediculous. I think these are good moral guide lines. And if more people practiced teaching thier children RIGHT from WRONG, instead of acceptance for thier wrong doings. we would be living in a much better world. Children need guideance, thats what we are here for. We cannot force Christ on anyone. God does not allow it. Each person has to choose for themselves. They can either deny or accept. All we can do is guide them the right direction and pray. Which I will do with my own, I dont care who likes it. I need only to please God. Besides, The only reason they dont want us teaching our children is because we are raising Strong Christian Adults, who will make a difference and be there questioning authority.
It would be nice for them if they could prevent us from spreading the Gospel through our children. Sorry folks, Christ will live forever.
Just so you know, my children CHOSE CHRIST. And they follow him of thier own free will. In the words of my 13 yr old daughter, she loves to work for the Lord because he speaks to her heart. She said on more then one occasion, the Lord he has made her feel special. Affecting who she will be for the rest of her life. And i must admit, she has had many experiences that can not be attributed to chance or coinsedince. She is a blessed child, not many children of her age are as in tune to Gods speaking to them. I have no regrets as to introducing my children to the Gospel. it was the absolute best thing i could do for them in thier entire lives, here and eternal. So what you are calling our child abuse, we are calling our parental duties. I see too many parents with your attitude about all this. Yeah, they are the ones with the mean, nasty, thieving, lying, children with no disipline behavior, that my kids deal with everyday at school. The ones who are always in trouble for everything from disrespect to others to disrespect for themselves. Parents crying about how they just dont know where they went wrong. They gave so much to thier children, exposed them to everything, loved them, and then let them make a childs choice to an adult decission. So please quit crying about how WE raise our kids, those who are trying to decide for us how to do it, either never had kids or they have kids a nanny raises for them. Spending little time parenting themselves.

Answer 8

It is people like you that have created a generation of atheists without morals or constraints.
As far as your beliefs, it is clear that the majority of people in this country agree with you. Look at what it has fostered. We cannot build prisons fast enough. Young people do not have any respect for their elders. Violent crimes are up in record levels. Marriages fail at record rates. When people do have children, they do not bother to raise them. Most will not even pay to support their kids. They have foul mouths. Most are tied up in drugs, sex, and alcohol by the time they are twelve or thirteen.

Furthermore, let me tell you about the youth in our church.
They love and respect their elders. They love the Lord, and will gladly stand up and testify as to what God has done for them in their lives. They speak out of love, help others with a joyful heart, and conduct themselves in a way that would make any parent proud. They stay in school, make good grades, and graduate, most at the top of their class. They always have a kind word, love to do good deeds, and are a joy to be around.

Yeah, your way sure sounds better, huh?

Answer 9

i believe parents have the right to make decisions for their children based on the fact that they are the parents. if the parents made medical decisions based on research and personal conviction, would you feel the same way...or would you take away a parents' right to speak for their kids in medical situations ONLY if the decisions were based on religious reasons? there are many non-religious reasons why people refuse blood for themselves and their children...diseases have been spread thru this practice on thousands of instances (do research) and blood transfusions don't always save a persons' life.....the body doesn't even always 'accept' the blood that is transfused....

there are people who refuse blood because they feel it's unsanitary...their view has nothing to do with religion...are they wrong also, or just parents who do it for religion?

mind you, there are religions that okay marriage for girls that are entirely too young..that's child abuse.

there are religions where there is too much trust placed in men and it results in children being left in compromising situations with pedifiles...that's child abuse.

there are religions where followers are expected to conform to the views of men, not a higher 'source' and that leaves room for child abuse.

parents have the right to teach their kids morals that they think will protect them...parents who teach their children abstinance (in the right way...not out of threat of hell-fire) are teaching their kids that STD's and unwanted pregnancies are preventable....parents have a right (until the child is old enouph to follow their own ways) to make decisions on medical care, birth control, what kind of clothes is too slutty, what kind of language is too abrasive, etc.

also, every parent has a set of personal/family rules that they feel are best for their kids....is this only wrong when the parents base their rules on their understanding of the bible and/or religion or is it ALWAYS wrong to place rules and bounderies on kids....without moral rules and personal/family bounderies there'd be more kids killing people, more kids trying drugs and unable to quit, more kids into sex at younger ages...more std's and unwanted pregnancies, thus, more abortions.

what your insinuating is that parents have no right to 'parent' their children and that kids should be given the right to speak for themselves, when they haven't the experience, wisdom or knowledge that their parents have.

the day that the world starts thinking like you will be the day our society completely goes to Hell, and i mean it. kids makeing their own decisions and parents (well-meaning parents, at that) having no say in their kids shcooling, learning, decisions, medical treatment, moral learning, etc. will result in a society with no bouderies, morals, and limits.

your point of view makes no sense.

-hbb

Answer 10

It is the parents right and responsibility to raise the kids and teach them until they are 18. They depend on this. It is NOT child abuse to teach them religion. They can make up their own mind after age 18. It is this very kind of thinking that is causing so many of kids today to have serious problems. Little by little the liberals are trying to take away the rights of parents when most of them cannot even raise their own kids properly!