I am a 23 year old virgin and Christian. I have had my share of losers. I am so tired of settling because in the past that is basically what I was doing. I am on a new level now and my list contains 100 things that I want my mate to have. I know that no one is perfect and neither am I . But I refuse to settle just because I want a boyfriend. I want something different because I am tired of playing games. I know God will send what I want I just have to pray about it and be patient. When praises go up blessings come down.
2007-12-27 11:03:22 · 8 answers · asked by shortstump911 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I had a list and though I never got to 100 things, the characteristics on the list were demanding enough to make finding a needle in a haystack seem easy by comparison. To illustrate, here's just a few I had...
Christian, tall (6'4" or taller), makes as much or more money than I make (that's six figures), similar education level (I have a Ph.D.), likes pets (or at least no allergies to them), and politically conservative. I thought this list was a good idea too...until I met someone that seemed to match every one of my requirements! I threw myself wholeheartedly into that relationship and caused myself more pain than I had ever caused when I was less picky.
In the aftermath of that disasterous relationship, God finally taught me that I only need one thing on my list...that the man of my dreams is the man that he designed for me. All the lists in the world won't help me find that person, only by turning it over to him do I have any hope of finding what I want.
I don't see anything wrong with taking your list to God...but you have to be willing to listen if he tells you that something you think you want isn't what is best for you! More importantly, don't use that list as a yardstick for measuring the men you meet...I'm living proof that even someone who seems "perfect" on paper can turn out to be a nightmare. The mistake I made with my "perfect" man was that I cut God out of the decision...I told him what I wanted and when someone showed up that seemed to be exactly that, I thought that the odds of finding him proved that it was God's will and I never asked him what he thought!
I know what you mean about settling...I've spent more time settling than you've been alive sweetie and I will never do it again. The next time, if there is a next time, I'll settle for nothing less than everything God knows is best for me...and the only way I believe I can know that is if I throw my list out the window and let him have the reins. Instead of narrowing down the field using my criteria, I eliminated the entire field from my consideration and am leaving the decision up to him.
2007-12-27 11:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by KAL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with being aware of what you want. It'll prevent you from wasting your or another person's time and heart. However, my best friend and I each wrote a list a while back, but they each contained much less than 100 things... Perhaps your standards should be lowered just a smidgeon. You know, pick out the 50 most important things or something like that. You aren't asking for perfection but you are asking for very, very much.
2007-12-27 11:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dont be too set on the perfect man, because you are not likely to find him.
what you need to do is settle on a few (no more than 3) absolutely Non-negotiable qualities ( eg non smoker, non drinker, same religion, same politics etc)
and then list a few qualities that can be negotiable - which means as long as he does do a few of these, he doesnt need to do all of them. (eg likes to dance, like to read, likes dogs, likes sports etc etc).
Everything else - including what he looks like - should NOT be on the list.
2007-12-27 11:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his photograph and make a demonstration asserting "warning Unlisted Sexual Predator" and placed up his photograph on the sign. Then place the indicators everywhere on your domicile, in case you have a laundry room that is a appropriate spot. placed up it by employing the pool section too. Oh one extra ingredient are not getting caught taking his photograph on account which you do no longer prefer him to know it develop into you.
2016-11-25 20:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a good idea - 100 things maybe a lot - maybe make a few catagories -
A) things that are an absolute must
B) things that I would really like
C) things that I would prefer
something like that
2007-12-27 11:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by servant FM 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that's an awesome thing to do - for one thing, you are very specific and letting God know what you want. For another thing, it will provide you with a "check list" against which you can measure the guys you date. If they don't measure up appreciably - out they go!
Good for you!
2007-12-27 11:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, lists are good. It helps organize in your mind what is important. If you haven't thought it through, you can more easily be confused or misled.
2007-12-27 11:08:13 · answer #7 · answered by hasse_john 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No matter how long a list you write, you can't predict love.
2007-12-27 11:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋