My dad is making me do stuff I don't want to do?

Question

He is forcing me to get a haircut becuase he wants my hair shorter and I want it longer. Also, he is making me do high school sports and clubs when I don't want to! I just want to be myself!!! I don't want to do track and field but I am forced too or I'll be "spending a lot of time in your room" is what he says. So when I say I'm grounded, it will be from not doing track! I'm going to try out for baseball but I doubt I'll make it. I've talked to him personally and calmly but he is still making me! When I am an adult, will I have to ask for permission from him for everything I do?? How do I get him to let me do what I want with MY life?

Answer 1

sounds like he's molding you into what your dad was trying to achieve when he was your age, but failed to accomplish. not that your dad was a failure, but it sounds more nostalgic on his part.

either that, or yoru dad wants you to keep out of trouble, like in the PSA ads of old, long hair = drugs abuse.

Answer 2

I am afraid that as a teenager you will have to do as your dad has said, i know it seems unfair, but as a junior you are under his control. That being said, i find it sad that you are being forced to do something that you really dont want to get involved in (the sports stuff), My guess here is that he wants the best for you & wants you to be fit & healthy, but i understand that some people are just not sporty. Perhaps you could try to suceed & not go into it with a defeated attitude, it may help you cope, & you never know, you may just have fun & do well.
When you are an adult, you can do what you like to a certain extent, but we still have rules to follow (most of us), ie:- the law, working regulations & not doing harm to others.
Do yourself a favour, i know its hard, but follow your fathers guidance, he only wants whats best for you. Study & stay on the right side of the law, have fun & do no harm, & life will be your oyster. Enjoy your youth, it goes too soon, & with age your freedom brings responsibilities, life is full of rules & its hard when your young to accept them, but its better coming from someone who loves you.

Answer 3

The big question here has to be how old are you? I suspect you are very young, in which case you have little option but to do as your father tells you. Things will change as you get older and have the maturity to make considered decisions of your own and until then you will have to knuckle down and get on with it. After all, it seems he has your best interests at heart here. Physical sports are good for you, health wise, you also learn other things like how to be a team player, how to negotiate etc, valuable life skills for the future.

As for getting your hair cut - we all have to conform and compromise at some points in life. You are at one of those points for the moment. As you get older and are no longer obliged to do as your father says that is when it will be the time to grow your hair if you still want to.

Answer 4

Maybe he wants to have an athletic son, plus wants you busy so to stay out of trouble. No you don't need his permission when you are older, Just tell him you are trying out for a sport, and all these other things are gonna get in the way...don't worry, we all have been through that, they have the right to mold us in a way. You soon will be an adult, that's when all hell breaks loose...so just listen for now, when you grow up, and be a good guy, he'll think he did it...good luck...

Answer 5

Well, unfortunately it's not your life yet... not until you turn 18. You can throw the try-out to make sure you don't get in, but that's not a very honorable thing to do. You can refuse and explain that it's not what you want to do, and in time he will get over it, but be prepared to be grounded for a while. Otherwise, you'll have to do what he says.

I feel your pain though, even though I'm much older than you. When I was a kid, I went to enter band and wanted to play clarinet... but my dad made me play trombone. TROMBONE... that's not a very "feminine" instrument and by the time I got in high school, I ended up quitting band because I was first chair and they were going to give me a solo, but I was too embarrassed to do it in front of the whole school at every football game. My dad was mucho disappointed. But he got over it.

Answer 6

Would not the long hair get in your face when you play baseball, take a look at the greats and see how many have long hair, as far your Dad , he needs to let up quite a bit, I'm 65, other than the long hair, ask him whats the problem.

Answer 7

As far as the haircut is concerned, you might as well get it cut the way he wants --it will grow back. As for the other stuff, have you tried talking to a school counselor or the coach of whatever team you are on? Maybe they can convince him to let you choose your own activity.

Once you are out of the house and earning your own way, you can do things the way you want.

Answer 8

It sounds like he just wants you to get involved in something. Find something on your own that goes with your interests, and maybe he'll approve of you doing something even if it's not sports. Like if you're a musician, all he might see is you sitting in your room wasting time listening to music and playing the guitar, but if you join a band, then he'll see that you're being proactive. He might not understand and say there's no future in art/music/whatever it is you want to do by "just being yourself". But you can remind him there's no future in track and field either.

Answer 9

What would you really do if he didn't make you do these things? Did you ever show an interest in them? He wants you to be healthy and active. You will be glad in the end, but I know it can be hard, not having control.

Don't doubt yourself. Self belief goes even further than natural talents to getting you almost there! Hang in there, kiddo.

Answer 10

Ask him why he is forcing you to live the life he wants you to live. What he is doing to you is a recipe for disaster. Sure, you could do track - and do it badly. What would this accomplish? No, you won't have to ask him for permission as an adult - so long as you don't take things from him. Get out, as fast as you can!

Answer 11

What does your mom have to say for this?? If she isn't in the picture is there some other reasonable adult you can turn to? If you have no one else, speak to your school counselor and teacher and let them know what's going on. This is a type of mental abuse and you should not have to deal with it.