Mom's with breastfeeding toddlers, I have a question?

Question

How understanding is your family about your older nursling?

My son is 13 months old and it seems like I am starting to have a bit of trouble getting family to understand that he is still nursing and will not be spending nights over or have extended periods of time away from me. They keep making "suggestions" of giving a sippy of water or cow's milk(have not introduced cow milk to him at all) and seeing how long he will go. When I say that is not a good idea, they will just smile that "Oh, the over-attached mother" smile. Ok, while I am attached....he is definatley attached to nursing and will not stay away from me long. But they just don't seem to get it....sigh...

How can I get it through their heads that overnight visits are not going to happen right now?

Answer 1

It really is best to pretend that you will go home and seriously consider their suggestions. Logic and education will likely not help you. Don't bother getting it through heads that overnight visits will not happen. Just tell your family that you will keep their offers in mind for when you need a hand. In the event of the unthinkable, like an awful bout of food poisoning, or a tragic injury, you have someone to call. You and I both know that you'll never ask them to keep your baby overnight, but give them the impression that you might call them sometime.

Your family doesn't get the whole attachment philosophy. It sounds like they are accustomed to a parent-centered, detached parenting style. You'll never tell them that your way is the right way for your family. They will never acknowledge that there is another way to do things. They raised you the way they raised you, and they need to be assured that they did the absolute best they could. You've heard this before, right? "We raised you this way and you turned out OK." My therapist might disagree when my parents say that . . .

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean. I'm almost afraid to mention to family members that I'm still breastfeeding. She's only 12.5 months. People are asking me why I still breastfeed, if she has some sort of allergy to cow's milk or something. Everyone (except my mother sisters, and husband) thinks I'm spoiling her.

Well, there's nothing you can do to change their mind. They're going to believe what they want, and nothing you say will change their mind. But you should still say it once at least, so they know that you know what you're doing, and you're not just continuing to nurse out of habit.

Tell them, that you've done your research, and you've spoken with peds. That the AAP, and The WHO, recommend children nurse until at least 2 years, and if possible longer. That they should self wean. That night feedings are very normal, and important to the development of the child. That he doesn't need cow's milk, when mommy has a supply of all that precious breastmilk, which is what he needs most. After all he's a child, not a calf. That you appreciate everyone's advice, but you know what 's best for him. After all, look at him. Does he look healthy? Well adjusted? Happy? Well nourished? Well he didn't get to look this way accidentally. His mother has made sure of that. A happy, healthy child is the best argument you can give them.

That should make them understand that you won't change your mind, and that you know very well what you're doing. Wether they agree with it or not does not matter.

Good job for doing what's best for your child. Don't worry about what anyone else has to say.

Answer 3

I am sorry that your family doesn't understand, I breastfed my son for 16 mos.. Although he was drinking from a sippy cup before 1 for water and juice. At age 1 he had cow's milk from a sippy cup, he also could use a cup with a straw. I think that's why i didn't get tons of those looks but i got them. I usually nursed in the morning and for nap, and bed time. I was also a stay at home 1st time mom with a husband overseas (navy). So the family knew not to fuss with me or upset me. He is getting older but the longer you nurse him the better its for him. but you may want to start thinking about stopping within the next 3-4 mos. How is the relationship with the baby's father? Thats one of the reasons i stopped , 1st I was ready, my son was ready( it only took 1 week) and my husband was coming home. They make really good sippy cups with a soft mouth for breastfeeing to cups. Good Luck and Don't feel bab about taking care of your baby. hes nto really a toddler till he's like 2 anyhow!

Answer 4

My family lives far away and didn't have a say as to how long my son nursed. Although, after a year, he was just nursing at nap, nighttime, late afternoon, and first thing in the morning.

Good for you to keep on nursing. Just tell your family that you are not going to have overnight visits right now. You will let them know when you and your son are ready. Keep on nursing as long as possible. Yes, there are lots of health benefits.

Answer 5

hehe. nicely my toddler doesnt communicate yet yet i presumed this became a good looking question and desire to respond to anyhow! hes 7 months. as quickly as we are in public or every time rather he will stare at my breast and make this panicky whining sound. its genuine no longer undemanding to describe yet rather undemanding to nicely known with him. It sounds like he's my little pervert baby probable to human beings because of the fact he won't take his eyes off of my breasts! ha! thats the style you recognize hes hungry. i tell him its boobie juice so who's acquainted with what he will call it while he can communicate :) I do nurse in public! much less often now nonetheless because of the fact he's older and is needless to say waiting to flow longer classes without nursing. Kinda unhappy. yet on each and every occasion he's hungry he eats. i do no longer care the place we are. yet as quickly as we are interior the shop or at someones abode i do conceal up by utilising draping a blanket over us. If we are outdoors and its burning up i merely drape a blanket over my breast and save his head unfastened. If we are sitting in my automobile i do no longer use a blanket - do no longer be nosey and you will no longer see :) nursies is stunning! *a number of those tds are no longer advantageous!*

Answer 6

My family (mostly in - laws) wasn't understanding at all. They told me I needed to wean my son when he was just 6 months old! They said that my nursing was making it impossible for them to get close to my son. They said I couldn't hoard him all for myself. I said absolutely not, I would not wean him and unless I started asking them to breastfeed him, it was none of their business. Furthermore, while I am my son's only mother and he will always be closer to me than he is to them, they had plenty of time to bond with him. It's not like he was attached to my nipple constantly. My son did wean himself at 14 months, but it was HIS decision, and my family had no influence on it. Stick to your guns, and tell them if they want any time with him at all, they had better butt out and stop telling you how to raise your son. Trust me, the sooner you do this, the better. Don't wait three years to say anything like I did, or you'll find them criticizing everything you do with your child, and right in front of him when he's old enough to understand. Good luck!

Answer 7

You are the parent, and you make the rules when it comes to your kids. Hopefully they'll "get it" eventually, but if they don't, their loss. They don't have to get it, they just have to abide by it.

I got a lot of flack about weaning my son around the 12-18 month age, but after that, they let up. Hang in there, you're doing great!

Answer 8

i breastfeed for ages, between 24mths and 28mths, i stop when they wean themselves,,, and NO ONE dared give them any sips of anything!!!! i give mine water and started at around 10 mths, but thats it, no cows milk at all. just tell them in a harsh voice that u are happy breastfeeding and it takes so long to master breastfeeding right that u will make the most of it, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 9

you just need to be more assertive, you are the mommy and they are overbearing. I'd nip this in the bud because other issues will come and they need to know who makes the parenting decisions.
Congrats on continued nursing my daughter is 19 months and we're still going strong. I wouldn't change a thing.

Answer 10

Well, if the two of you still insist on nursing, then try pumping so that he can still go on outings with other family members. This way, he's still getting the nutrients of breast milk but also gets to be a toddler, running around with family members at the zoo or whatever.

If you don't want to do that, then just blow them off. You are the mother, not them. You are doing what is right for you and your son, so their opinion doesn't matter. Just tell them that he is not having overnight visits. End of discussion.