im the middle of 3 boys im 16 and my bro is 26 my mom died when i was 3 and my dad is in the marines. well last night i said i was sleeping over at someones house in my city when really i was in a town 30 minutes awy somehow he found this out and told me to come home. not expecting this and totally wasted my friend drove me and my car home. i went upstairs and he came in and was yelling at me not thinking clealy i go f u ben **** you at this he left me alone and this morning he came in and me not wanting to deal with him yelling at me again i say whatever and tell him to goto hell(not good) he yells at me somemore and and then i guess i rolled my eyes then he takes his belt of and hits me i dont even know how many times. Do you think i should have been punished for a "1st offense" as he calls it? and how do i tell my dad.
2007-12-27 09:29:24 · 37 answers · asked by Peter W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he was put in charge of the house and you didn't follow directions, then why are you suprised of the outcome?
2007-12-27 09:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by The Assassin with a Resume 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Tell your father what happened.
And don't give us the bullsh** story about it being your first offense. It might have been the first time you were caught, but if you were drinking that heavily, it was not your first time doing something serious that was wrong.
You were in the wrong, but discipline is your father's right, not your brother's unless dad's put him in charge. Whipping you with a belt, is abuse however, even if you asked for it by acting like a jerk.
You should NOT have lied about where you were. You should NOT have been totally wasted. If your brother was put in charge of you by your father, then he had a right to discipline you. Yelling at you doesn't do any good, however, any more than your response to him.
Saying "whatever" is just as bad, and shows you don't give a da** about acting right. Rolling your eyes ... you did something wrong... so you don't have the right to roll your eyes... You're going to end up in jail or dead if you don't shape up, and your actions are shameful.
It's very hard for a father to raise 3 sons all by himself. Even if he's a harsh marine dad, he's doing the best he can, and you're not doing YOUR part by trying to act like a responsible young man.
Tell your father the facts as you did here... with NO name calling, no accusations... just the facts... and then maybe you should ask to go to counseling as you surely don't know how to be a responsible young adult.
2007-12-27 09:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand it from his point of view. He's 26 and has to take care of his younger brothers. Your mom had passed away and your father is serving his country, so your poor brother is now the head of your family temporarily. Honestly, I know how much it sucks to have rules and stuff like that because I was always pissed off when my Dad or Mom would punish me but now that I have matured and grown up I realized how much of an idiot I was and want to thank them for steering me straight.
And I know stupid parents and stuff pull this card every freaking time (The card of - OH MY GOD WHAT IF YOU WERE INJURED OR EVEN KILLED!!!) but its true. And in your brothers case its really true. If you were to get hurt or injured your Dad would have totally chewed his *** out for something that you had done all on your own. Do I think that you should have been punished? Thats not my decision but if it were my kid, and he was wasted and lied to me, I would have done the same thing. Now if hes doing this for no reason then that is a whole other situation.
I don't think you will believe me when I say this because I didn't believe anyone when they told me when I was a kid, but you will thank him one day. Hes just looking out for his and your asses. I hope this helps!
2007-12-27 09:42:49 · answer #3 · answered by drfark 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Peter, you are to be COMMENDED for not trying to drive home in your condition!! You are to be COMMENDED for your friend driving you and your car home [I do wonder how he got back to his home].
For all the other things, yeah, he certainly should have taken his belt off and really gave your 16 year old BARE butt a very thorough licking. [It is a shame you still were not sober enough to know how many licks he gave you!]
Yes, probably you should tell your Marine Dad. I've heard they are STRONG and maybe have a HEAVY belt. Maybe he would finish what your brother started!!!
.
Yeah, I know a belt or a hairbrush can HURT. I know it ain't fun. I also know, from what you said, that you are one dude who knows he needs an attitude adjustment and then start to live right.
.
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Peter doesn't seem to have anything more to say now. MAYBE Peter's marine dad got home and after he tended to Peter (and Peter finished his yelping) now Peter has nothing left so say.
.
2007-12-27 13:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by Jim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your lucky he didn't call the cops on YOU!!! Your 16 and think its no big deal that you LIED, weren't where you were supposed to be, Were drinking to the point of getting drunk, and then had absolutely no remorse for your actions!! WTF? I'm guessing your brother feels like crap for spanking you but did not know what else to do what with your attitude. I'm guessing he's feeling a little over-whelmed taking care of you which isn't even his responsibility. He was at a loss and you tripped his trigger by being cocky and not caring. If I were your brother I'd tell your father to control his rebellious daughter before something really terrible happens to you like death to drunk driving or being in a situation you can't handle and no one knows where you are. Time for you to grow up!!! Your situation isn't fair but its yours and you need to take responsibility for your actions.
2007-12-27 09:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have a solid answer, but maybe you can talk to your brother first. Tell him you are sorry you acted the way you acted and explain to him that you did not appreciate the way he acted out on the situation either and not do that again. Hopefully he will apologize as well and you will both feel a little better.
2007-12-27 09:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even parents aren't allowed to hit children with a belt. You could just go against him for abuse.
And lying and going to another town for the night isn't a first offence. Where I live, you're allowed to /move out/ of home when you're 16.
2007-12-27 09:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by Larrmon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You were out of line several times. First, for lying, second for leaving town with out telling your brother, third for being wasted (you're 16, you shouldn't even BE wasted), and lastly for disrespecting your brother TWICE. You should be hoping and praying he doesn't tell your dad all of what you did.
2007-12-27 10:11:45 · answer #8 · answered by keita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ur brother properly feels as though he has to take the place of ur father, seen as u properly dont see him much. just explain the situation to your father so that he can explain to you bro that u don't need him to act like u father but tha u do need him there to hel pu and support u! that might make the situation a little better.
2007-12-27 09:35:45 · answer #9 · answered by tailette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe wait to tell your dad. It is hard enough for him to be gone. It just makes it harder when you hear stuff like that. Try to just be on your best behavior. Try not to piss the big bro off. It must be hard on him as well, he is overwhelmed and is taking it out on you. This is wrong, very wrong.
Do you have a social worker at school you can talk to?
2007-12-27 09:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by luvmykids 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You know whats right and wrong. I do agree with your brother. Your brother is just looking after you. And I am sure it was not a first offense. I am sure you have disrespected him more than once. Haven't we all. It sounds like your brother has alot on his sholders. Try to understand it from his point of view.
2007-12-27 09:36:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋