A lot of the times when I get angry I feel like the only way to resolve it is to use violence...?

Question

...but i dont use violence b/c i know it solves nothing but when i dont use it i cant think of anything else to do & i end up getting emotional b/c i feel like the other person is controlling the situation & controlling me b/c i am in the situation. & it enrages me & every time i am forced to walk away from a situation i feel like the pent up anger just builds & builds & the rage gets stronger & stronger every time it happens even if its not w/the same person. & i am worried b/c i can feel it boiling beneath the surface & i am afraid i might seriously hurt someone b/c when it gets really bad & i get really angry & provoked i can see myself...i dont even want to say it...i can see myself finishing the person for good.

there is a lot of stuff in my life that i need 2 deal with but the depth of my emotions scares me. in a way i am scared of my self of my dark side & what they are capable of.

what should i do?? plz help. any advice is good??

Answer 1

hi hon,
I'm sorry your life is so complex right now.
you have already taken the first step by recognizing your anger and asking for help.
i recommend an anger management class, i had a friend go who said it was the best thing they ever did.
they will teach you how to walk away like you do now, but without carrying all that anger with you.
call your local mental health department and ask about it.
good luck.

Answer 2

You need to deal with this. Take a deep breath and ask yourself if you think getting angry will really fix things and help. It might make you feel better right then, but it will definitely make you feel worse later and in denial.

Try and figure out what it is that is making you mad and try and realize whether you can change the circumstances or if its really just something you have to accept... a lot of frustration comes when we feel like things need to change, but many times we just have to accept things and people and their shortcomings as they are. Would you get mad at a rock for being a rock?

People are a lot more complex and it helps if we just set our expectations realistically.

If you can't get this under control, talk to a professional about ways to deal with this, or it could even be a medical issue.

Answer 3

You got the same type of anger issues that I have...

I get some rather violent mental images of what I want to do to people but I haven't actually DONE them so that is a good start. Well, I have punched a wall a few times...

It is prob something hardwired into you from your childhood... Were your parents or others around you violent people?

Could it be that you have never had an outlet for your emotions before?

It could be a strange external sign of depression. That is what I have been told by doctors.

I understand what you mean when you say "It just keeps getting stonger and stonger."

Just this morning I woke up and was so angry at this one guy that I had this mental image of walking up to him in the shower and knocking him down so he cracked his head on the tub and just letting the water cover him...

It sucks but you need to admit that you need therapy and possibly medication.

I'm on Effexor SR right now and it has helped.

I'm not "Cured" or anything but it has gone from "on the verge of actually doing it" to just having the scene play out in my head.

Good luck to you my friend!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Answer 4

I can relate to you in some ways from my past. I found an organization called Landmark Education that assists people with the eliminating their mental baggage that builds up in our lives. It's not therapy but it's better than and it's not based on religion either. You can go to a free introduction in your area. Check out the link.

Anger energy is stored in the liver. Perhaps you would benefit from changing your diet to all natural vegan diet and maybe even raw vegan. Your anger will subside from eating plants and zero hormone all natural foods. Eating meat has many hormones that alter our body chemistry and for some causes many aggression problems. Example of too many hormones are meat eating males that can't control their sex drive and commit sex crimes because of it.

Yoga can balance your hormonal levels as well. Get yourself into a class and go as much as you can.

This advice should help you in amazing ways even if you only do one. Blessings...

Answer 5

You know what, honey, you need counseling. Anger management. There is nothing wrong with counseling, you just need some guidance to show you how to be in control of your own emotions. You want to get to the point of realizing what other people say is ok because everyone has an opinion and everyone has a right to express it. But many people don't understand that just because we all have opinions doesn't mean we always have to express them. We also need to accept that we don't have to agree with others opinions and that's ok too. You want to get yourself in control before you do do something you'll regret. Many people have thoughts like you do but what it is important is that we don't follow through with these thoughts.You'll be fine just get some counseling, ok?

Answer 6

its just a state of a mind. so u need to control urself and thats wht imp in life. let ppl do all da crap they want bt dnt loose ur temper. Now how can u do that? first try practicing yoga and meditation. It will help you a lot. Another practical thing is try to divert ur mind when ur upset. Think abt good things or listen to some nice music. And most imp thing is avoid ppl tht made u so crazy. Down the line keeping ur head kool ir respective of whts happening around u is very very imp. good luck !!!

Answer 7

when I'm frustrated, I exercise. The next time you feel a bit of pent up rage, go for a walk, or get a heavy bag and start beating it! Never use violence.

Answer 8

this is easier said than done but i would work out all those frustrations and deal with the anger as it comes so it doesn't build up.run, lift weights, punch a bag.say what you have to and walk away.i feel like i know where you're coming from but not to that extreme.pent up feelings explode and you don't want to get to that point.Its good you realize it.talk to a friend.pray

Answer 9

You made a very interesting comment, you said "I am scared of myself of my dark side & what they are capable of" you refered to yourself as "they", it is interesting because it implies that you recognize that when you become angry, you turn into different people. People who are uncontrollable and capable of handling a situation violently, unlike you (the calm self) would. I am sure you have tried to control this, and you are obviously wanting to change. I would advice you to seek medical help because this something that you have lived with your whole life and it is probably going to require intensive therapy. I admire the fact that you want to change and I wish you luck in future endeavours.

Answer 10

We each have a physical reaction called "Flight or fight"

Controlling your anger is a learned behavior of self-control.
The urge to use your fists is one that comes naturally out of childhood, and is not a use of self-control.

When another person is attempting to control you it is good and right that you would resist. The extent of your anger though, may be somewhat excessive for the situation.

Consider spending a few sessions with a professional Counselor.