Did you always Know? (Question for mothers)?

Question

I myself am 19 years old and me and my bf have decided that we do not want kids in the future, but my mom keeps telling me that I'll change my mind.
My question is to the mothers, Did you always know you wanted kids and if not when did you realize?

Answer 1

You think you may not want to have children now at 19 yrs of age, and that's ok. Your views and thoughts will be different 10 yrs from now and that because life experiences will change your views. The chances of you being with your boyfriend now is about 1%. That is because your views and taste will change as you mature. I thought I didn't want to have children either and I have 3 beautiful children. I don't know what life would be like without them. You can make wiser choices as you mature. Life is unpredictable, but live life to the fullest!

Answer 2

After my mom's best friend had a baby (I was about 8) I decided I never wanted children. The baby was a screamer and I couldn't stand being around him. I changed my mind later on and even decided that if I for some reason had to make a choice between having a child and a husband, I'd pick the child! I am now divorced and have a great little boy. Funny how things work out, isn't it?

I know quite a few couples who are childless by choice and I think it's great. Everyone has to make his or her own decision about whether or not to raise children and no one's feelings should be pushed onto anyone else. My friends think my little boy is great but they also like the fact that they can leave him with me at the end of the day...lol. You may or may not change your mind about having kids. Whatever you decide is what is right for YOU.

Answer 3

For a few years when I was your age I said I didnt want kids, but that was mroe to do with the fact that my boyfriend at the time already had 2 and didnt want anymore, Needless to say I am not with him anymore and have a fab hubby and 2 beautiful children. Deep down I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and I am so glad I am, because I wouldnt be the person I am today! It is totally a personal choice if you dont want kids and your mother should repsect that even if she disagrees. On the other hand though you are still quite young to be so definite. You might in the future change your mind, you never know.

Answer 4

I swore that I would never have children. I didn't want to deal with the responsibility of kids, the mess, the planning for college, the whole kit-n-caboodle...but I am 29 now, with a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old boy and my days and nights revolve around these amazing wonders. I cannot imagine my life without them and my friends are all amazed at this because I was serious when I said no to children. As I got older, I realized that I felt something was missing in my life and it was a child. I don't think you always know, so to speak, I think it's what you want and at some point in your life, you will realize what it is that you want. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I just always assumed that I would have kids - my mom had 10, all of them (except me) had kids - I babysat from the age of 12.

Then, years went by, some dating, some dry spells & I was just in my 30's, no steady romantic interest & wondering what I was going to do with my life. I spent lots of time with nieces & nephews, but was still living a pretty childfree life. I was just starting to research artificial insemination, thinking that that might be the way to go, but not really seriously considering it, when I met my husband & his daughter.

Now that I'm a parent, I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. This is so fun, especially doing it with a partner who is totally into the joy of being a parent, too.

But, I also think of the person that I was when I was your age & through my 20's - even think of the kind of parent that I probably would have been without all of the things that my husband has taught me about parenting & the things that we discovered together - and I don't think that I would have been a good parent on my own or when I was younger.

Take your time. Wait until *you* are ready to give parenting your all, all of your attention & time. Do it right, when or if you decide to do it.

Answer 6

No, I was quite convinced I didn't want kids until I was well past 20.

By about 24 I was sure I did want kids. I had my first at 26 and my second at 29.

So, while there's nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and many people do carry on feeling like that, there are also many people who do change their minds. So unless you want to be having awkward discussions with old friends for decades to come, probably best to tell people that you don't want kids *at the moment*, rather than that you don't want them *ever*.

Answer 7

I did not want kids as a teenager and in my early 20's, I met the father of my children (ex husband) when I was 24 and by the time we decided to get married I was 28 and had change my mind about having kids, I have two boys. Some people do not change their mind it is completely up to you and do not let anyone push you into it, but do not do something drastic that you might later regret.

Answer 8

I was a single mom for 7 years (pregnant by accident at the age of 18 - if you can call it that -having sex while not being protected and getting pregnant isn't really an accident - we all know how babies are made). I never wanted another - even if I got married. I was done. No more -one was enough.

Now - 1 year married... my son is 8, I want another. I want another baby soooo bad. I want my son to have a brother or sister. I LOVE having my brother and sister around... and I want my son to have the same.

So... here I am, almost 28, with a changed mind. 8 years thinking I never wanted another kid... and here I am now wanting one.

My only problem is my husband doesn't want one and I don't know how to deal with it!

Answer 9

For me, I always wanted kids. My daughter at from ages 15 to 18 said she was never having kids. She just recently changed her mind and said she hopes to have at least 2 kids by the time she is 30. You may actually never want kids, but maybe a few years from now your boyfriend changes his mind and wants a family. If he can't have one with you he will find someone else to start a family with. So don't do anything you can't undo.

Answer 10

No there was a time that I said that I didn't want kids, but now I have 3 and love it. Some times, you do change your mind. And it could be that your bf has influenced your decision without you even knowing it. Who says that it will always be this way? Can you be sure of that?