Parenting methods?

Question

Why does society in genral expect children to be controlled?
Not in a bad behaviour way, but in their daily routine.
Why do they have to sleep, eat, and play when it is convenient to their parents?
I have so many people who have a pop at me for doing things like feeding my children when they are hungry. If your child woke up in the night and couldn't get back to sleep because they were hungry, wouldn't you feed them? It has happened to my eldest a few times and I have fed her, which some people have absoultely slated me for. The thing is it only took 5 mins and she was back asleep, if I had left her to cry about it then we both would have been up all night.
And whats wrong with feeding a baby on demand? I eat when im hungry, not when someone tells me I can eat!
I don't have any strict routine with my children, I follow their signals, but they have fallen into their own routine that they are happy with and I must say is pretty good. They sleep 7pm-6am most nights.
Opinions?

Just wanted to add they we do eat healthy food and with regards to eating if they are hungry at 4 I will make dinner early etc.
I don't let them eat junk all day, lol!
My youngest can't talk yet but my eldest is very polite.
I just wonder why childrens needs are ignored when an adult wouldn't ignore the same needs of their own

Answer 1

I know what you mean.... My daughter in law just had a baby and the visiting health visitor ..laid down so many new rules ...she ended up confused and very worried....
She was told not to put a hat on the baby whilst in the house !
not to wrap it up too tight.. Definately do not prepare milk in advance of feeding time......
All this had changed since her last child born less than 2 years ago...

But you will learn your own babies needs and nobody will know what why and when better if you are the full time carer...
So just listen to the advice given and if you can smile and do it your way... that always helps ... all the best and love and kisses to your well cared for little ones....
just a note it really is more limits than routine if you know what i mean as a child grows they need really need to know where they stand..... that way they behave better .... and they will find their own routine ....

mother of 5 and gran of 14

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you do in fact control your kids' daily routine to a certain extent. You don't let them eat junk, for instance. You make dinner early if they're hungry at four, not just open the cupboard and give them the first thing that comes to hand even though that would be faster. You fed your eldest not just because she was hungry, but because it was night time and your household routine was for you both to be asleep then.

I agree with you, btw. Going with a child's natural routine is much more sensible than trying to impose some external one on them - especially if it's been arbitrarily chosen from a book or website. But, had your kids chosen a routine where they'd sleep from 7am - 6pm and then be up all night, I'd lay money that you'd have made strenuous attempts to change it.

Answer 3

Sounds good to me. I personally believe that each family has to do what feels right for them. Some people like to be controlling. My parents never were, and neither am I. In fact I feel pretty flexible regarding most things and I find it easier to go with the flow. On the other hand,I know people who were kept to a strict schedule when they were younger and now they have a hard time taking things as they come and most of them need to have a set schedule for everything. I kind of feel bad for these people because they can't be impulsive every once in awhile.

Anyway, I congratulate you on doing what feels right for your family. If anyone criticizes you, just tell them that it works for you guys and that since you're kids are still dependent on you its your job to make sure that they have everything they need. Have a great day!

Answer 4

Schedules help a child feel secure and learn. They know when to expect things. I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to the rules, but in general most children thrive on a schedule. Especially if you are working outside the home. And they aren't saying they can't eat between meals, just don't over do it and eat at dinner. It also helps you keep track should your child start acting out of sorts....like not eating or not sleeping which could have serious consequences if gone unnoticed because its hard to keep track if the child doesn't have a schedule.

Answer 5

My 2 boys have to be in bed around 8-9pm.they get up for school at 5:30am. their 9 and 11. but they don,t have to go to sleep,they have a tv each,and games ect.. on weekends the time is theirs. but if they don,t get their sleep their crying and fighting,you name it, the next day, as far as eating,yea there,s a limit. and depending on age. my 9 year old is way over weight,why? because we didn,t control his eating as he was growing. and his health is not good because of it.it,s not controlling it,s called parenting.and if one of my kids did wake up in the night,and thats unusual and say they were hungry,yea I would get them a snack. but that has never happened at least since they were babies. kids need to learn control and routine,good luck to the parent who didn,t teach their kids that. your kids sound young yet and so do you,I,ll bet your tune changes as they grow,get into school ect..

Answer 6

I hear you...my 3 year old sometimes cannot sleep and if that happens then I let her get up and more often than not she is hungry...after all, it happens to us, why would it not happen to kids?
I let my 3 year old have total access to her "crafting cupboard" it is full of paint and paper etc. and low down...my sister thinks I'm mad, but creativity shouln't be policed....she is very polite and well behaved and I wont squash her individuality by trying to make her behave in a way that's conveniant for me.

Answer 7

nicely you ought to stability out what you experience is nice to your newborn and examine better than in simple terms one e book to evaluate techniques and suggestion. you ought to think with reference to the newborn's developmental age and point. To assume a 9 month previous to no longer cry while issues do no longer flow his way is in simple terms too extreme of an expectation. fairly sharing. Sharing is a complicated job which could in elementary terms be understood at around age 3. little ones youthful than 3 can not share with the aid of fact they haven't any theory of possession and think of that the toy taken away will disappear constantly. i could enroll in the parents magazine and flow in this web site decrease than. It grants such great suggestion and could help you. instinct on my own isn't a thank you to flow. all of us choose suggestion with the aid of fact parenting is so complicated.

Answer 8

I'm with you to a point, I think that children & their needs should be treated with respect. But, as parents, we also need to make sure we're teaching them to be polite and treat others with respect.

So, making them meals whenever they want them is not convenient for me. I'm happy for them to have a healthy snack that they can get quickly or on their own whenever they want, as long as it doesn't fill them up to the point where they then, impolitely, don't eat the next meal that I prepare for them.

Same with sleeping & playing. Go for it! Unless it makes others in the family uncomfortable, makes extra work for someone, or is not healthy or safe. When that happens, then parents step in & teach.

Answer 9

Children need a routine and that's a fact - best get them into it early or you will have problems later when they need to go to school - or if you see that as "optional" for them they will suffer when they need to go out to work - but you do what you think best - it's none of my business as I will not be their teacher/employer - I hope!

Answer 10

They are your children and since none of these people are raising or supporting them, forget about what they think. Nobody raises their children just like some body else. Its your preference and as long as you aren't abusing them or neglecting them, and it definitely doesn't sound like you are, then its none of their business.