My fiance & I live in Central PA near a small # of family (maybe 20 people). We have family all around the country and have a cluster of friends/family in Northern NJ. My mother wants to hostess an engagement party in Northern NJ (where she lives) - which is fine with us.
Should we invite everyone (including those out-of-state) who will be invited to the wedding or limit it to those in the immediate area?
What about distant relatives who we do not have space to invite to the wedding - Do we invite them to the engagement party or would that be rude?
Should we hostess a separate party for the PA relatives/friends so they have an opportunity to celebrate in advance with us?
2007-12-27 08:33:08 · 5 answers · asked by nova_queen_28 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My home is in Central PA, Mom's is in NJ. We were figuring on September so she could accomodate a large crowd with indoor-outdoor facilities. Basically just a big BBQ to get the two families together to meet for the first time.
And Mom does enjoy throwing a large & fun party (you should have seen my 30th B-day - - - LOL).
2007-12-27 08:53:20 · update #1
The host (your mother) should only invite people in the immediate area to the engagement party, plus his parents and siblings (who are the only ones at a distance that should be invited-unless you have other close relatives-a grandparent or favorite aunt-who you know would want to be there) otherwise it will come off like you're asking for presents) It would be in very poor taste to invite anyone to an engagement party. that is not being invited to the wedding. If they are invited to the engagement party, they will assume they are invited to the wedding-and will end up being very upset that they didn't make the cut. You may have a separate party for the PA relatives and friends. Since your mother likes to do parties, check to see if she would like to also host the one in Pa. If not, then close friends or another relative could host. Your mother and his parents should attend if at all possible.
2007-12-27 09:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by ChefLuci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree... you don't want anyone to be invited to celebrate in the engagement, but won't be invited to the even more important big day!
For the engagement party, it doesn't hurt to invite those who would have to travel! Even if they can't make it, they will appreciate the the invitation (and maybe you'll even get an engagement gift from them)!
Another alternative would be to have a close friend "host" (and this doesn't mean they do all the work, maybe they can offer their house as a venue so it doesn't look like you're hosting) an engagement party for your in central PA so that you can get the local family together without asking them to travel.
2007-12-27 08:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Engagement parties are really informal, so just invite those in the immediate area. It's just a time for members of both sides of the family to meet the couple and the wedding party. Usually it's just drinks and snacks, with time for everyone to talk.
2007-12-27 22:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would limit that engagement party to just immedate family but if you have a good size apartment/house then I would invite people over to your house so that way there your not overwhelming your mother. Unless your mother doesn't care and loves to entertain then ask her about.
2007-12-27 08:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by Starsky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not proper to invite people to an engagement party when they will not be invited to the wedding. Otherwise, invite whoever you want to be there! They'll come if they can!
2007-12-27 08:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by Katie G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋