i like my best friend's boy frirend, and another guy REALLY likes me (obsessive)... i cant seen to find myself to like him, but dont get me wrong, he's a really nice guy, and im purposely mean to him so he would leave me alone, i told him that i dont like him.. ive made him cry once.. i feel bad, but to me, if i were to go out with him, i kindof feel like i would be cheating on the guy i actually do like. I dont know why i would, but i would.......can i get some advice?
2007-12-27 07:17:33 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stay away from your best friends boyfriend. I had a friend like you... needless to say we no longer speak. Have some respect for your friendship and find your OWN boyfriend.
2007-12-27 07:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Hey Josolyn,
I'm not really one for relationship advice, but I've had a few successful ones... and a few more rocky ones, so maybe I can provide a little insight. This one sounds like a two-parter.
For your best friend's boyfriend, maybe ask yourself what it is you like about him so much. Is it his carefree spirit, his smarts, his washboard abs or how he looks on his Harley Davidson? You might find that the things you like about him are traits shared by many guys your age. If you're like the rest of us, you're not limited to one option, and this guy isn't the only boy you'll find attractive. As the saying goes, there are many fish in the pond.
I would try to let it go. Not only does it sound like your crush on him is preventing you from exploring other options, but it can only lead to a strained relationship between all three of you. He is taken, by someone you care about.
As for the guy who has a crush on you, don't 'try to like him' and definitely don't treat him poorly so he goes away. Be clear that you do not share the same feelings for him and that it's just not going to happen. If he doesn't get the hint, then avoid him as best you can.
It sounds to me that you, and your admirer, both needs to get over an unhealthy crush. Hope this helps. Good luck!
2007-12-27 07:40:48 · answer #2 · answered by designerboy85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a girl but i got so many girl friends (more than guy friends) and they always blab about the same problem even when i'm around, most of the time i fall asleep cuz that stuff doesnt usually interest me, but i know they consider it slutty if you go out wit ur best friend's bf so if it's the same situation where ur from, then don't bother. And as a guy if u want the dude u like to like u, flirt with him a bit, maybe his true feelings will emerge, IM NOT GAY!! >:(!!!
2007-12-27 07:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be mean to somebody just because they like you or even are obsessive with you. I think you need to tell that guy that you like him as a friend and there is no way that anything could work out. Also, tell him that you think he is a little bit too attached to the idea of you and that you need your space from him at times. If you are just honest I think it will help him get over you and help you not to be mean to him.
If you don't like him though there is no reason to try and date him, that will just end up in a bigger mess than you started with. And you liking your friends boyfriend is a tough situation. Maybe you need to stay away from them for awhile and let feelings cool down, in the mean time maybe you will find yourself liking somebody else.
2007-12-27 07:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advice: Stay away from your friend's boyfriend. He only looks good because he is forbidden. If he was free- you wouldn't care. Do you want to be the kind of person that sneaks around and tries to steal someone else's boyfriend? Besides, it WILL come back to haunt you once you are really in love and vulnerable. Besides, you can not cheat on someone that you don't have a relationship with... cheating is breaking a promise/vow and you two don't have one. There are sooooo many people out there!!!
2007-12-27 07:23:15 · answer #5 · answered by Devoted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh!please get real here,how old are u because this sounds like nothing but teenage as we called it back in the day puppy love,I mean do u think the guy is really going to loose sleep over u if u can't find ur self to like him I mean really girl get a grip on ur self.
U want real straight advice with all the bull than do this GROW UP OK!
2007-12-27 07:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by Dark Shadows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Don't pursue your friend's boyfriend. Chances are they will break up eventually anyway, then you can go after him when the time is right.
2) Don't be mean to the other guy, it makes you less attainable and makes him want you more. Be very matter of fact with him and if he won't back off then break all ties. Don't ever do anything to make him think he has a chance, ever, or he'll hang on to that as a sign of hope.
2007-12-27 07:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by Andy R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..."I kind of feel like I would be cheating on the guy I actually do like", first off its your best friend's boyfriend. You would risk your friendship like that? I would honestly back away if I were you. And because you go out with any other guy doesnt make you cheat on someone your not in a relationship with or infatuated with lol.
2007-12-27 07:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by Zachalot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not go after your bestfriends boyfriend. It would be the biggest mistake you ever make! My bestfriend of 15 years went after my first love. It broke my heart and ruined such an awesome friendship. I love her still, but never ever will trust her completely or look at her the same. It is such a devestating thing to deal with. Don't be like that. You will regret it. If the relationship doesn't work out..which most of the time won't you will be single and friendless! You will find someone for you just wait. Don't go with someone that you don't like either. Just have patience.
2007-12-27 07:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sadbrowneyes13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...
1. Don't touch your friends guy. EVER. no excuses, even if they give permission it will still hurt them.
2. Don't ever date a guy you don't like. That's worse than telling him to go away and never talk to you again. Besides, who wants an obsessively ceepy guy in their life anyways?
3. You're not betraying your crush because your crush has a girlfriend (your friend... just reminding you) He doesn't care who you date because he's already got somebody.
My advice: find a different guy who is 1. not taken, 2. not taken by your friend, and 3. is not obsessive
2007-12-27 07:24:29 · answer #10 · answered by Kiwi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you want what you can't have, and if it is something that you can have or is easily available you don't want it. You might need counseling, especially if you are hurting innocent people. If you care about your best friend you would not be after her boyfriend. And there are nice ways to let boys who like you off easy..it's called being honest with him. You don't need to be mean and make him cry.
Hope you get it all figured out and don't end up losing friends over this.
2007-12-27 07:22:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋