It's like saying "Hey, I want your gifts, but you're not important enough to be invited to the real thing. Thanks a lot, sucker!"
2007-12-27 07:15:21 · 36 answers · asked by beardo73 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
OMG!!! I TOTALLY know what your talking about!!!! I think its soooo RUDE!!!! lol ...a few times I just didnt go lol. And since I have been in that postion I hate to see other people go through that!!! I feel soo bad!!
I mean the people are getting married and you want to see that and THEN enjoy the reception with everyone...I totally dont understand...I know weddings can get expenvise and chruchs can be small (tho ALL the weddings I have been to where never in a chruch ...always in a private hall) ...but people want to see the union and a few more chairs and people are not going to hurt anyone!!! ...I'm not married but when I do I will be inviting EVERYONE to EVERYTHING!!! ...and I agree with you on that gift thing!!!
OZZIEGAL - Someone asked a question and I am just stating my opinion and what I think and how I fell...everyone has different ways of looking at things...and too me weddings are VERY IMPORTANT ...you don’t see me criticizing anyone elses answer ....
(but the way if you are going to criticize what I said at least get my wording right!)
2007-12-27 07:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by *Sweet* 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Whoa! You are WAY too sensitive. It is perfectly acceptable etiquette (and has been for centuries) to invite some people to both the ceremony and the reception and others to just the reception. By inviting you to the reception, they are being very welcoming and generous, and putting out some money to have you there.
It is not okay, however, to invite people to only the ceremony, but not the reception. It costs nothing to have you at the ceremony. So, inviting you to the ceremony but not the reception would be a message that you're not good enough to spend money on, but they want a gift. The other way around says "please celebrate with us". You've got it backwards, my friend.
Many people consider the ceremony to be very private and have only closest friends and family there. That's perfectly acceptable and not at all rude.
2007-12-27 08:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've never heard of anyone who has opted not to invite guests to the ceremony. Usually it is the other way around since the reception is more costly and the cermony normally requires only a small contribution (at a church) or a flat fee (at a hall, park, beach, ect). The only time this situation would make sense is if the future newlyweds are going to city hall to wed; or if they are having a destination wedding where they are footing the bill for their guests travel and expenses but can't afford to accomodate everyone they wish to celebrate with. I think if you feel really strongly about this you should just ask the newlyweds if you may also come to the ceremony. You may find that it is just a matter of finances and their intent was not to slight you.
2007-12-27 07:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Skimming through the other answers, I think I might be in the minority and am probably going to get thumbs down for this. It's possible that the venue they chose is very small and will only accommodate the immediate family or they might prefer that the ceremony be intimate. They still want you to share their day with them and maybe they'll have a video of the ceremony playing at the reception. So don't take it as an insult that they invited you to one and not the other, though I agree that it's normally the other way around.
2007-12-27 17:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by Wishing on a Dream 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I always thought that the best way would be to have a big wedding, but no reception. Instead, after the couple returns from the honeymoon and get settled, have small groups of 8-10 over during the next 6-10 weeks for a buffet and informal reception so that the couple can really spend time talking and sharing their vision of marriage with the friends and family they love. When you put 100 or 200 plus people together, nobody enjoys or gets a real opportunity to talk with the bride and groom. Plus, you could pick and choose the composition of the small groups to keep certain people apart. Everything about smaller groups is more personal. Why does the reception have to be on the wedding day when it usually causes so much anguish?
2007-12-27 07:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by DR W 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
OMG I totally KNOW you are talking about! Its sooo RUDE!
how silly and over reacting can you be "sweetie"!!!
to the question: don't be offended or upset by the invitation there are many reasons for not being invited to the service:
perhaps their ceremony is a small, private, intimate family affair.
perhaps the church is tiny.
perhaps they are getting married out of town and having a reception upon their return.
perhaps there has been a death or ? in the family so the wedding will be private and the reception is a later date than the actual wedding.
the reception is the most expensive part of the day and they obviously like you enough to pay for you to attend, so go and have a good time and btw gifts aren't an obligation - if you don't want to give a gift you don't have to!
2007-12-27 07:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Did you ever consider that the Bride and Groom may want to invite everyone they know to the ceremony but that there might not be enough room? The reception is the time to celebrate not the ceremony. The ceremony should be quiet,respectful of all guests in attendance and should be a private moment.
They are not saying that they only want gifts,they are telling you that they would love for you to come and celebrate with them afterwards.
2007-12-27 07:30:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I agree, it's totally rude. However, some of the brides to be on here talk about doing this, and it's just horrible! The same people should be invited to BOTH the ceremony and reception. No second-class guests! The purpose of the reception is for people to celebrate the vows they witnessed the couple take earlier at the ceremony!
2007-12-27 23:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Often, people will show up to the reception without attending the wedding.
Too, the church (or wherever the ceremony may be) may not be big enough. I ended up changing my ceremony to a different location because the original church could only hold 144 (we have about 400 on our guest list). Not everyone has the ability or option to switch locations.
If you don't like it, just don't go. Keep this in mind too, you don't have to buy them a gift, but they'll be feeding you and getting you drunk on their dime.
2007-12-27 07:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, the reception is the expensive part of the wedding!!! Its WAY worse to be invited to the ceremony at the church, but not the reception afterwards!!! They might be having a small intimate ceremony, but they want to celebrate in the reception with the rest of their friends. Don't take offense, you get to attend the FUN part.
2007-12-27 07:23:42 · answer #10 · answered by Katie G 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋