How should I response to this?

Question

Sometimes when in public with my little sister or other children I may be taking care of, some people will assume they are my children. I find this riduculous becuase I'm 20 years old! How could I possibly have as many children I they think I do. I once took my two cousins and little sister to breakfast and the waitress called me "mom", I was 17 at the time and the three of them were about 9! Same thing happened at work, someone ask me how mykids were doing... huh?!
simply why do people assume (i could look maybe 23 tops) and what should I say in response besides THEIR NOT MINE!

I'm not ashamed or stressing out about this, I was just wondering what to say. I usually do just say, their not mine. But was wondering if thats not rude in a way.

Answer 1

Believe it or not, I had the same things happen to me with my little brother. My brother is 10 years younger than me and, with the world being in the shape that it's in, when we were in public together people always looked at me as if I was some sick, twisted freak.
I remember one incident when I was 13 (he was 3, of course) and we were walking through the local mall together because I'd volunteered to take him to the toy store while my mother shopped for clothes and home decor a couple of stores away. If looks could kill, I would've died a hundred or so times. He could talk relatively well so I would make sure to say "Mama" in a louder tone (i.e., "Yeah, Mama would like that!", "Ready to go see Mama?", "Come on, let's go find Mama"). I wanted to scream "Do you REALLY think I'd have a child at 10 years old?!?" at every single one of the rude people with staring problems.
Unfortunately, people will create their own assumptions and there's really nothing you can do about it besides correct people when they assume.

Answer 2

The fact is that people actually don't pay much attention to others, unless they know them or have some cause to. It's a lesson to all of us who have worried at some time what others think of us ~ short answer, they don't. LOL.

Anyway, what can you say? You could just ignore it, and say nothing unless it becomes an issue of some kind.

After all, you don't have to explain yourself to some stranger who hasn't even paid enough attention to see that you are obviously way too young to be mum to a nine year old!

If it's a slow day at the restaurant, you might want to laugh and say 'I guess I'm looking as old as I feel today ~ I'm just the babysitter!'

If however, it becomes and issue, where people are expecting you to act as a parent (for example make a medical decision), you need to sort it out promptly and make sure the actual parents are advised asap.

As far as your work colleague goes, that's a bit different ~ that could be just the sort of polite enquiry people make as a way of getting to know you a little. Obviously, they don't know anything about you, so you could just reply with good humour, saying oh they aren't my kids, they are ......... and then ask after that person's family. It's just a getting to know you technique.

Best wishes with this!

Cheers :-)

Answer 3

Why do you even care? As far as not being able to have that many kids, I have clients that started having kids at 13 and 14 years old, so it could happen! If you're insulted because you think they're saying something about you, please understand that they're not thinking about you at all. They see kids and an adult, they don't care what the relationship is, they just say mom, because they have no way of knowing what you really are to them and it saves time. Get over it and let it go or you will give yourself an ulcer! And if they're good kids, take it as a compliment.

Answer 4

A person's perception of age will change depending on what he sees. So if you look like 20 and you are with young children, the person will assume that you are a young looking 30 year old. I'm not sure why it upsets you, but all you have to say is what you said: "They aren't my children."

Answer 5

People always think that my older sister is my mom because we're ten years apart. It really bothers the both of us.

You probably shouldn't get too worked up over it since your an adult but being a teenager I use my right to immaturity to stare at the person who said it like they're an idiot.

My sister just smiles and calmly corrects them (although I know that, inwardly, she is cussing in anger) but then we laugh or rant about it later when we're alone. Usually my sister just takes the chance to introduce me as her sibling instantly so that it happens the least possible amount of times.

Answer 6

At your age you shouldn't be so offended. I could see if they called you grandma. But seriously take it as a compliment due to the fact that your so together and mature. I think instead of getting po'd you should just smile and say thanks and respond politely. No harm and it's sort of an inside joke if you think of it that way. BTW I'm the oldest of six children and I used to get embarrassed when I was 12 years old and people though my baby brother 10 years younger was my child, so I know how ya feel but believe me it could be worse!

Answer 7

Sometimes people assume that they are yours because maybe they look somewhat like you and others just take for gran-it that you started early in life having children. It is common to see young teens with children...I always ask before I make a statement like you mentioned.

Answer 8

I think you might be over-reacting a little. People just assume you are much older but look very young, so try to take that as a compliment. Best thing to do is smile sweetly and just say, they're just my little sisters/cousins/ whatever.

Answer 9

They assume because there are so many pregnant teens these days, I live in a county that used to be ranked #2 for teen pregnancies in the entire country! They assume that the children are yours because they're trying to refrain from being rude in the first place, they don't want to say "Hows your little brother?" and it turns out he's your kid...they don't want to embarass you. Don't take it as them trying to be rude to you, I think they're trying to save themselves from feeling uncomfortable. You could just say something like "Oh I'm just babysitting today." And really hint around that you are JUST BABYSITTING.

Answer 10

Get a grip. People are trying to be friendly - and lord knows it's not unheard of for a 20-year old to have children.
The polite response is to say "these are my cousins and sister. Aren't they great children? I enjoy them so much." Don't embarass the little things by your immature reactions and by acting like you'd be ashamed to be their mother.