What can daddy do to save his adult daughter from disaster whose with an abusive jobless guy who dont care?

Question

Some women say Grown Fathers are useless to their adult daughters when they have an adult daughter being willingly abused and used by their boyfriend
Some women say they plead with their husbands to do what they did when their children were minors, protect them form harm.. They say these were good fathers when the children were growing up but why cant they stop those men from abusing their adult daughters even though the adult daughters
takes the abuse willingly and say they are in love and daddy stay away. They are grown now
Some fathers watch in frustration when they learn its against the law for them to do anything and their younger children and wife pleads with them to do something.
What can these good fathers do but look helplessly at their remaining minor children and say you had better stay good the way im teaching you and taught their adult daughters
I say theirs nothing these good fathers can do but advise and be there to pick up the peices. What do you say ?

Daughter lives alone
boyfriend is there everyday abusing adult daughter and smiling knowing the father cant do a thing because she is no longer a minor.
I say father has other children to raise He cant stop it since daughter willingly takes the abuse and told father to mind his business. She says she is no longer a child and dont have to follow his goody two shoes rules of good behavior

she says she loves her boyfriend wildly

I say sometimes they are so abused that they are good as dead and never come back to normal

Answer 1

The more you rag on him, the more she will cling to him because "you just don't understand and I looooovvvve him. Everyone always abandons him and I won't and I'm going to heal him."

It's tough love time dad and it is going to kill you to do this. You let your daughter know that your home is a safe place for her and any children she has. Don't say anything bad about him anymore. Don't talk about him at all if you can help it--not even to ask how he's doing. Once she feels that she isn't under pressure to defend him, then she will relax around you and start to open up. When she starts to complain about him, just listen, then ask her something along the lines of "well what do you plan to do about that?"

If the abusive behavior (physical) happens in front of you, call the police and issue a complaint against him. When you witness it, you can report it. In some states (Texas and Virginia) once the police are involved, it WILL go to trial, there is no way to stop it. If what you witness is verbal, let him know that you will not tolerate him speaking in a disrespectful manner to your daughter.

Also contact your local women's shelter and talk to them. Explain the situation and tell them you want to know how to handle things, what is legal in your area, what kind of assitance is available for your daughter when she is ready to leave.

Let the children who are still at home know that you don't approve of her choice in a mate and you don't want them to pick some guy or girl who is going to beat them down (physically or verbally). Spend time with the kids who are still at home.

man, this really sucks. Good Luck to you.

Answer 2

I know daddy cares for his daughter and I have been in almost the same situation. All though my husband isn't abusive physically there are times when he can be verbally, and because of this my dad and most of that side of the family does not like him. Due to this my husband isn't well liked and my dad and everyone else is trying to get me to leave.

Unfortunately dad is better to let it go. All though he cares he is just pushing his daughter away by voicing his opinion. She is a big girl and if this is the way she wants to live then let her be. She will eventually come around and that is when she will need him most of all.

Answer 3

If she lives under your roof, you do have a say. As a last effort you can say if you continue to date this guy you must move out, that you will not tolerate it. If she already live on her own there is nothing you can do unless you finacial help her. Go to the guy and speak to him alone. Threaten him, so to speak, that you will hunt him down if he hurt your daughter again! You can cut off any moneyyou put out, take your car back, have the cell phone turned off if you pay that. You know that anything you do she still may revolt but you can say "you did everything you could" best wishes.

Answer 4

It's natural for girls to desperately want to be dependent on some guy, any guy. All the abuse and arguments in the world don't matter because the alternative is, to them, suicide. Living alone, on her own and taking care of herself is her greatest fear. She doesn't know what she wants, she's depressed, lonely. She just wants some guy to make her complete because she has never accomplished anything she wanted or accomplishing things is just too hard. Growing up, someone should've taught her that following her interests and passions and loving herself because of her efforts and success is the only path to happiness. Guys and relationships are just for practice until you are ready to start a family, after you've done something with your life.

Answer 5

I would give my daughters crappy boyfreind some face time with sweet lady brick...when no ones around of course.I think it's a fathers responsiblity to go to the mat for his kids.Even if that means breaking a couple fingers.Especailly when it comes to a daughter.Would you rather beat this kid down now and console her on why he won't return her calls or help raise his kid.

Answer 6

Offer your support and realize that your daughter is a grown woman.

Sounds nice doesn't it? My answer would be deleted with at least 55 thumbs up and 1 thumbs down.

Answer 7

Daddy can knock the abusive guy out of the phonebook, and protect his daughter..if she doesn't want your help..then sadly, you must stand back and wait...

Answer 8

I agree she is grown n will do as she please only hope for the best and b there for he.remind her he is a welfare gigalo not that one is on welfare but to him he is