My 6 year old son is completly out of control.He is mean and spiteful. He is constantly hurting his brother and sister. My husband/his father are not violent people. He refuses to listen to anything I say. I have tried spankings,rewards,grounding, spending alone time with him taking away toys everything I can think of. What is wrong with him? He can sit and play video games for a very long time or watch tv, so his attention span is average. I hope somebody can give me some advice.
2007-12-27 06:25:25 · 15 answers · asked by das_kcs 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Do not give into him. He needs to know that YOU are the adult and HE is the child! Take all of his stuff out of his room and let him know he will NOT get it back until you see some improvement in his attitude and his behavior. Don't back down. He is only a kid.
2007-12-27 06:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would get some professional help. It does not mean anything is wrong with your parenting or your son! Remember that.
I have seen several answers and I agree with many of them. Just because he can sit and watch tv and play video games all day does not mean he does not have ADHD. It does not mean he does either. Seeking so professional help you will help you and your family and particularly your son figure out what is going on. If it is ADHD you do not have to put him on meds. There other options if do not like them.
At this point I would suggest consistency. As getting professional help may take time. Ask at your son’s school they should be able to help. Choose discipline method and stick with it. A good book/video to try "1..2..3 Magic" it was a method that was used at the school I used to teach at and worked well. Although we adapted some. Another good one is w to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (How to Help Your Child) Here are some more as well, Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It
Kids, Parents and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka;
Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka;
The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene.
Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon
and anything by Becky Baily or Jane Nelsen.
I know that is a lot of different choice, but they all have good methods and some will work for you and some won't there is not "one fit solution" .
2007-12-27 20:43:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being able to sit still to play video games or watch TV does *not* mean he has a normal attention span. My son has ADHD and he can watch movies or play on his computer for long periods of time too. If I was in your shoes I'd take my son to his doctor and find out if he thinks an evaluation by a psychologist is warranted. I'm not saying that your son has ADHD, but something isn't right if he is behaving this way. A medical doctor or a psychologist might be able to help. Good luck!
2007-12-27 17:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by aloha.girl59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent start acting like one. First of all take everything out of his room. Tell him that he has to earn back the things he wants and start with the toy he likes the least. He is to obey for one day and he will get something from his room returned. When he is mean and spiteful, remove the toys or objects from his room again.
If he continues, then try time out in addition to item removal. He is only six you can still break him of this terrible attitude. Both you and your husband must be on the same wave length. I know it is easy to say "oh he has been so good let's give everything back" but don't do it because then he has gained control again. Stick to your guns and you will win.
As the person above said you might want to watch his diet and not give him too much sugar or give him things with preservatives as they both can cause havoc.
2007-12-27 14:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by Diane B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't give in. Take away his video games and television. If he throws a fit, send him to his room for half an hour to an hour. If he screams or resists, tell him that the time is doubled. If he continues to resist it, tell him he is in there for the rest of the day and he will have no toys. If he hits his brother or sister, he gets spanked HARD 8 to 10 times, he does NOT get to hit them. You are his mother so you and his father can discipline him. If you don't stop it now he's going to keep going and you're going to have hell when he's a teenager.
2007-12-27 15:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by That Gay Guy for Da Ben Dan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you say you and the father aren't violent people and yet you say you spank him? Since when was hitting not violent?
I would be willing to bet that the television and game playing for long times has something to do with it. Limit his game and television time to a half hour a day. Then take him to a park, a play ground, send him outside to play. His problem is he isn't active enough.
2007-12-27 20:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children always try to find out their limits by willingly going against the parents authority so as to discover how severe the consequences are. Show your child who runs that house and teach him that he is not the only one and he has to love his siblings. As the parent, do not favour any of the kids, do not be partial as this may lead to sibling rivalry. But check with your doctor maybe your son suffers from ADS ( Attention Deficiency Syndrome) it is not fatal or severe but if affects some kids nowadays but check with your doctor. Talk to him and try to make him understand what he is doing is wrong. Put your foot down when you make a decision and do not give in to his whims.
2007-12-27 14:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by simba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can, try to spend a little more one-on-one time with him and see if you can find out what is troubling him.
I know you have tried that but it is worth trying again. In addition, PRAISE everything, even little things, that you find him doing a good job at - eating nicely, playing quietly (even if it was only for a moment) - in short - praise the behaviour that you want to see him doing.
2007-12-27 14:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats it. Take away all of his Christmas Presents and all of his toys from his room (tv included if he has one). Ground him until New Years. If hes good on New Years let him stay up for the count down. If hes bad make him go to sleep in his room.
You've already lost control, put your foot down.
2007-12-27 14:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Take away the video games and take away his Tv privilidges. He doesn't deserve them. You are the parent and he doesn't respect you. Make him stand in the corner like a baby when he is being bad!
2007-12-27 15:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by danie23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋