How long is too long to remain in the guest room when you visit your in-laws?

Question

My mother-in-law stated that I didn't come down often enough when we went to visit her. In my defense it was a 14 hr drive and after saying hello to everyone I went straight to sleep for about 12 hrs. When I finally did wake up and go downstairs no one was really around anyways, if there was someone there no one was doing anything or paying any attention to us because some other friends had stopped by. Was it so wrong that I stayed for a while and then went back upstairs?

Answer 1

Well, its seen as anti-social. Its understandable to go get some sleep or during bed. But you should probably have went to the family room and watched a movie with everyone or hung around with hte other people. Just because your around doesn't mean that they have to drop everything for you.

Answer 2

I'm shocked that she was rude and bold enough to call you on that. In my opinion, that was a serious breach of etiquette.

You don't need an excuse for staying in the room doing whatever you want, although your 14 hour drive is excuse enough!!! However, I do think maybe you should have just stayed downstairs, even though it seemed to you like nobody was paing attention to you. I spend many an hour at my inlaws just sitting in a chair, waiting for a damn football game to be over! Sometimes you just have to sit around and be a little bored, all in the name of being polite at Christmas. :)

Answer 3

i would have gone to sleep too...but not for 12 hours. take a three or four hour nap, come down and visit, then go to bed at a normal time. You can tough it out for a few hours for the sake of the visit. I know it sucks (I do it a few times a year too...and I am going to do it in two days), but it's forth being a little tired for one day and still having a good visit.

Answer 4

Unless you are just painfully shy and afraid of other humans...yes you were wrong. Sleeping is one thing...but going back upstairs just because they werent "paying attention to you" is rude and childish. You should have stayed downstairs and socialized with your family at Christmastime. If you dont get along with your husband's (and your) family then maybe you should stay home next time he visits them. Save yourself that long car ride.

Answer 5

You're in-laws were probably expecting to talk to you some. Next time you visit, make a stop at a hotel a few hours out. That way you will be semi-rested and be a more polite guest.

Answer 6

Your being a bit of a party pooper either way. Holidays are stressful and I assume you didn't drive the entire way and your husband did at least half of it? If his parents live so far away you should be saving energy to impress and woo them since you don't really have to see them that much at all.

Answer 7

A 14 hour drive to deliver her daughter for a visit was damm nice of you; they should have cut you a ton of slack.

Answer 8

If you want to keep her happy, next time make it a 2-day drive and stay in a motel so you can get there early the next day.

If you don't care if she's happy, keep doing what you did- it works for you!

Answer 9

I don't think so as long as you were not pouting about it because then it looks like you are a child. I have found that talking about what you are thinking is the best way to get things out.

Answer 10

yes, your a freek.
don't be shy.
do like i do and command the room, no matter whose their.
if they don;t like it, just tell them
take this mother and shove it, i ain't .....
just kidding but bet i get the 10 points for the take command of the room thing. usually i take command and then say so whose buying the first round.