I have been in a relationship for a long time now and found out my bf of 6 yrs was cheating... so i dumped him as i have no tolerance for cheaters. the thing is everytime we had a fight while i was in this relationship he always said to me: "oh my phone is going to get cut off" and it never happened.. or he would tell me he is going to kill himself if i left. I was so scared so i never left him but i finally have the courage to leave. Oh ya he would also tell me everytime we had a fight that he was going to move to another city and that we would never see each other again.. again i would worry and stay with him..... but now i am strong and dont care if he cuts off his phone or moves or does whaever.... my question is do you think he would actually do these things? why do ppl say these things to ppl? I just dont understand why he tells me this.
2007-12-27 06:06:18 · 16 answers · asked by star 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's called emotional blackmail. One thing that I learned in therapy is that NOBODY is responsible for your feelings. Whatever he chooses to do is his problem not yours. I don't think he's likely to follow through anyway, but if he does you can't take on the responsibility. You are better off without this emotional leech.
2007-12-27 06:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dashy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The people that would actually do those things, don't usually announce or make threats. This guy is VERY SICK and extremely abusive. The tactic he uses on you is called Emotional Blackmail. Millions of people do it everyday. (If you this... I'll do that)
Standing ovation to you for walking away from him.
If he does do the things he threatened to do (and he won't) but if by some odd chance he does, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, NOR YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You are responsible for your life, your choices, your happiness and no one else's. He is his own man, and he if does those things, thats on HIM. Not you. Now go enjoy your newfound freedom.
2007-12-27 06:16:32 · answer #2 · answered by ☆ Spharoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably told you this just to scare you or make you stay. Did you often have sex with him? sometimes the guy just wants you for the sex. But, of 6 years? Wow. That's a long time. when did he start treating you like this and saying these things? you should have left him a while ago.
2007-12-27 06:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by xoxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he IS messing with your mind. I wouldn't worry about him doing something psychotic like what you described unless he has a history of mental illness in his family. Then his threats would make sense. So, no, I don't think he would do these things but he apparently sounds like a very desperate individual and your the better person for finally leaving him.
2007-12-27 06:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Man_With_No_Name 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time people say thoes things to test you, and to make you stay. It's their way of keeping the power of control. It's a childish way of acting. It is like when a kid say they will scream or hold their breath if they don't get their way. 99% of the time they never follow through with the threats. If he does, it should be no concern of yours. It is his own life that he is messing with not yours. Move on to bigger and better things. Enjoy your life.
2007-12-27 06:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by GayNSingleNNC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey it sounds similar to me , my ex GF did exactly the same.
But she never killed her self but only tried to threaten me. If you think he is not worth for you dump him, don worry about him. He sounds like a jerk and how long you will stay with him knowing he is cheating you. Come out of the relation ship as quickly as possible. I know how tough after staying for 6 yrs but i did it and i think you can also do it.
2007-12-27 06:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not your concern anymore. He is the one that cost the relationship to end. You should let him know that what eva' he wants to do...do it, but you don't want any part of it. As a matter fact, he should complain to his cheating significant other. I am sure she is all to happy to hear him b*tch. Stay away from him. This is not a person you should be associated with. Good luck ; )
2007-12-27 06:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by Hazel Eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is manipulative and verbally abusive. Get as far away from him as you can. This guy is a LOSER. He says these things to control you. Be strong. Your answer to his threats should be, "I don't care" or "go ahead". You are NOT responsible for anything he does or doesn't - Dump him and good riddance!!
2007-12-27 06:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by Amy B® 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think he would because if he was going to would have already done because he was cheating on you Some peple say those thing becausethey may think that you are afraid of them or the want you to afraid of them or they may be trying to reassure themselves but there are many answers as to why he did.
2007-12-27 06:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kyle S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut that zero. It sounds like as long as your continue to listen to those idle threats, he will have control of you. Move on to bigger and better things. Find someone who will treat you like a woman, if that is what you want and quit messing with that nut.
2007-12-27 06:10:22 · answer #10 · answered by ifonly4luv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋