My mother in law has helped me emotionally for 10 years, She was a wonderful kind, loving soul. Now she is bitter mean nasty, hateful and she thinks I am poisioning her food, sleeping with her husband and stealing her money (she hasn't got any...). My father in law still works as a truck driver due to the fact that before her illness (CAA, Cerebreal Amyloid Angiopathy) she ran up 150,000 in credit card debt and morgaged their house. My sister in law is a paraplegic with mental retardation....There are no family members willing to help and I thought I could help out, but it has become so demanding that I do not know who to turn to. An assisted living facility is out, no onewill discuss it. My husband can't see that the problem is as serious as it is (he remained at our home as I was able to leave my job and he isn't able to realistically). Please tell me where to find a support group, I am losing sleep, weight and my mind.....
2007-12-27 05:56:34 · 7 answers · asked by suzieg 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1. Does your MIL have insurance or is she on medicare and/or medicaid? See if her illness qualifies her for hiring someone to come into the home to assist her a few days a week--this will help you get a break. (in cases where her illness or disability allow it, the insurance or medicaid/medicare will pay all or a portion of the help).
2. If she doesn't qualify, sit down with your FIL and husband and explain the facts of life to them. You need help and you are exhausted. Find out how much it would cost to hire someone to come in a few days a week to help out and see if your in-laws have the funds and if you and your husband are able to contribute. Contact the other family members and spell it out to them. "mom needs X, Y and Z. I can give X and Z but I need help with Y. This is what is will cost us to do this for her. We need you to help out this is your share of it."
the SIL, is she in the home too? She should be getting some kind of disability/social security and qualify for medicaid assistance. You should be able to financial aid to have someone in to help her too.
There is just too much to list in this post. I'll email you with what we did for my grandparents. (G-ma had a series of strokes that has left her an invalid, she has diabetes; G-pa is legally blind and unable to drive or lift her to help her bathe or get dressed.)
2007-12-27 06:17:00 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are an angel. If you are her caregiver then I would talk to her doctor about her mental issues. Physical issues can cause awful mental ones if they're not dealt with. The doctor may be able to prescribe a mood stabilizer for her.
Talk with her spouse, your hubby, and any other children. If they aren't willing to pitch in more then they need to respect that you feel there is a problem and respect how YOU choose to deal with it.
Taking care of someone is hard enough let alone if they turn bitter and mean because of their problems. They're not doing her any favors by letting her suffer in obvious mental misery.
Bless you for still being able to remember her kind and loving soul when she's acting like a demon. Best of luck!
2007-12-27 14:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by MISS H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When a family sees a kind soul willing to help it seems as if
the rest of them can't be bothered. Your husband can't see is as you are doing all. Your mother in laws debts are not your responsibility. Your father in law needs to lend a hand with his wife. Your husband needs to step up to the plate and see if her insurance will cover an aide or something to give you a break. Your mil has Alzheimer sounds like this is why she thinks all are out to get her.
Please get some help. Your a kind person and take it from me as the kind people get walked on in these situations as you feel bad that if you do not help no one else will.
2007-12-27 06:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you, I really do. I am in the same boat as you, I also care for my MIL, but they are alot of differences between the two. My MIL is addicted to prescription painkillers and smokes like a train, even though she has CO PD and emphysema. She like your MIL is a very bitter woman and she won't eat anything that I cook for the same reason you stated. A word of advice though, if she is causing problems with your marriage you must get her out of you house, if she is living there. I have recently had to go on depression meds because of her, the Dr. told me as long as she was living in my home my mental state would just get worse, never better no matter what depression meds he puts me on. I pray that you can sit down with your hubbie and explain to him how it is tearing you apart, and that he will listen to you. God Bless you and others like us!!!!
2007-12-27 06:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Where is your husband? You and he need to get out and let social services take over before you are totally broke physically and financially.
2007-12-27 06:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have an answer for you but I want you to know you are an angel!
2007-12-27 06:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
call ur family and tell them what is going on...
2007-12-27 06:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by Promise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋